Tuesday, January 30, 2007


I know I wrote a post last night and published it, so where did it go? It's not in my drafts and I can't find it. Did anyone read it? I'm not going crazy am I?

Okay, well, I was half sleep when I wrote it, so I can't remember what I said, the gist of it was that I need to listen to the voice in my head. I think I did some split personality stuff and gave my alter ego a name. Since I can't find it anymore, I'll just have to do a new post.

This weekend, I actually got out a little bit. It started on Friday afternoon when I picked up my niece and nephew from school to hang out. I took them out for lunch. I had a great time with the kids just talking and laughing. The whole time the waitress was giving me that "awww, he likes kids" look. She was pretty, a little young, but pretty. When she brought the check, she put her phone number on the bill. It was cute... however, she neglected to include her name, so if I ever decide to call her I'll have to be like, can I speak to the waitress from Chili's on Northlake? LOL

After hanging out with the kids for most of the afternoon, I got a call to go out to dinner and drinking with my bougie friend (what up K! Don't get mad, you know I'm bougie too) and some others. We met up at Apres Midi in midtown. I had a couple of overpriced Grey goose and cranberry's and a Grand Marnier and some strange salmon pasta concoction that was good. Our waitress looked like Nelly Furtado, so that's what I called her. Like "Nelly, let me get another drink." She didn't like that very much, LOL. When we left the restaurant, it was only 12, so I wanted to find something else to do, but it didn't work out, so I just went home and read a book. I don't usually read, because I think I read too much in college, but I reread Plan B by Chester Himes ( I read it about 10 years ago, I think) in one sitting. That was my Friday.

Saturday and Sunday will have to wait, because I need to get back to work. You do anything exciting this weekend?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

People Watching

I should have made my New Year's Resolution to stop talking about people. I have a bad habit of watching people and then laughing about their quirkiness. Case in point, the other day I had to go to an orientation thing at work and the comedy was in abundance. Here are some of the people I saw at work along with some visual aids to let you see what I was seeing in my head.

Animal from the Muppets - I can't take credit for this one. I was actually being good and not verbalizing any of the thoughts I had in my head until my co worker Tanya passed me a note that said "look straight ahead it's Animal from the Muppets." I just about cracked up when I saw this girl. Her hair was intentionally wild and she had white stuff in the corners of her mouth, like she was rabid. She looked a little like this:

Bruce Bruce - Dude had on the oversized suit with about 74 buttons. His hair was processed and he looked like he was half preacher and half pimp with his rings on every finger. Even when he was sitting down, he was breathing hard out of his mouth. I can't even imagine what's gonna happen when he has to walk up all the stairs we got in our building. He looked like this:

k.d. lang - k.d lang introduced itself as John. Come to find out her last name was Johnson and the first name was Carol or something. We really couldn't tell if she was male or female for the first couple of hours. She had on a button up shirt with a blazer and kept touching her crotch, like she was adjusting her testicles. It really was bizarre.

The Gay Thurston Howell III - I don't wanna sound like Isaiah Washington or anything, but this dude was the funniest. He was wearing an nautical jacket with a white button up shirt... and an ascot. I have never really seen anyone wear an ascot in real life. I thought that was only in old black and white movies. He of course had all the stereotypical gay movements down like neck rolling and snapping. The outfit in the picture is almost exactly what he was wearing.

Here are some more observations I made:

Makeup Man - This guy I work with has a bald head and I think he puts makeup on his dome and face. I thought I was the only one who noticed, but Tanya asked me about today. If I wasn't such a punk, I would ask him about it.

Spandex in the Workplace??? - My work environment is business casual, but some people take the casual part to the extreme. I swear this is 100% true...This woman was wearing spandex pants today. I don't even need to say anything else about that.

The Potential Serial Killer - This guy just gives off a vibe that screams I have 13 bodies in the cellar. He is nebbish, and mousy and can't make eye contact to save his or your life. I overheard him talking about his antique knife collection and how well it can take the skin off of anything. He didn't necessarily say people, but of course in my mind that's what he was talking about.

The guy who talks me to death on break - This guy is always telling me ridiculous stories about his sexual conquests as if I gave half a damn. I usually pretend that I'm on the phone when i see him coming but every now and then he will sneak up before I can make my call. His latest story is about how some girl in the office (anonymous girl of course) dissed him at work, but then started stalking him when she saw him in VIP at a club. Now he allegedly made her buy him gifts before he would go out with her. I wanna call him out so bad, but I just let it go because it's not worth the energy. He also told me that I should start pushing up on some of the women in the office because "he has no competition for the bitches and its getting too easy." Clown ass nigga!

So, I know I am clowning the people I work with, but really its all in fun. Not everybody there has issues. There is lots of Eye Candy (Is that a term of degradation? I was told that was disrespectful. I certainly don't mean it to be.) and cool people. But they aren't as entertaining as the weirdos, so that's who I wrote about. I can only imagine what they think of me.

Monday, January 22, 2007

New Years Resolutions

Since I wasn't posting at the New Year, I want to take this opportunity to share my New Year's Resolutions with you. I have to tell you that I don't really believe in resolutions b/c why is one day better than another to make a change? I also suck at keeping my resolutions. I think I was 0 for 7 in last years resolutions. But I might as well give it a try. Here are some New Year's Resolutions I know I can keep.

1. I resolve to make at least one comment per day that makes someone call me a jerk, an asshole or if I'm feeling especially sarcastic, a douchebag (like the girl at work called me when I made fun of her furry shoes.

2. I resolve to shock the hell out of people by actually showing up to their function and not being anti social every weekend.

3. I resolve to become addicted to some activity, be it blogging, Playstation, internet porn, or Comcast On Demand.

4. I resolve to look longingly at women and then not talk to them because of my self diagnosed Social Anxiety Disorder.

5. I resolve to make excuses for my behavior, rather than changing it (see # 4)

6. I resolve to mock whatever form of music is popular in '07, and secretly like some of it.

7. I resolve not to buy a CD again before I hear it. Thanks Nas for helping me out with this one. I really want to like Hip Hop is Dead, but it ain't working out for me.

8. I resolve to avoid phone calls from people that I used to be cool with and then call them a month or two later and act like nothing happened.

9. I resolve to drive around aimlessly while trying to decide what to get to eat, then get fed up and come home starving and eat oatmeal.

10. I resolve to start an ambitious project and then get bored or writer's block and just stop, while leaving people hanging.

Now here are some that I'm not so sure I can do, but I'm gonna try...

1. I resolve to have, in the words of everyone's favorite oversinging R&B diva, "No More Drama."

2. I resolve to make myself a priority and make sure the people around me treat me as such.

3. I resolve to start going out more or at the very least get a life outside the internet.

4. I resolve to get promoted within 6 months.

5. I resolve to take care of my health better this year. And yes that includes finally getting some new contact lenses

6. I resolve not to become involved in other people's mess. See # 1.

7. I resolve to stop being late. I'm actually doing a lot better at this one. I get to work like 45 minutes early b/c I'm trying to avoid traffic.

8. This is a repeat from last year, but I resolve to spend more time with my family. I'm doing pretty good at this one too so far.

9. I resolve to force myself to eat, even when I am not hungry. No more going two days without eating.

10. Finally, I resolve to continue my journey of personal growth, understanding that I don't know all the answers and I'm not always right. (It killed me to type that last sentence.)

So there are my resolutions... You got any?

Friday, January 19, 2007

Beats Rhymes and Life

I've been in a blog rut for awhile. Someone told me it was because I am no longer obsessed with the blog world, but I think it's bigger than that. I think that the blog world and the real world started to blend into one another and I had to take a step back. I shared too much while at the same time not sharing enough. I let people in on some of my inner most thoughts, but censored others. I let people get to know the real me, but when it came down to it, I avoided people like I always do. I'm proud of the work I did at It Was Written, but now it's time to move on. You ever meet someone who had dreads and then they cut them off because of "the energy" locked in their hair? I know I ain't the only one who met someone like that. Well, for the first time I can relate (as opposed to looking at Dread Head like they were high.) I feel that way about my old blog. I just need a fresh start.

This isn't about hiding. I plan to post the link to this blog on the old blog and anyone who wants to read is welcome. Yes, even those who I had e-beef with, or real life beef with. I'm not holding any grudges (well, I still got one grudge, but that's on me to deal with.) I'm not gonna make a private blog, cuz to me that kinda defeats the purpose. If I only wanted my friends to know what I was thinking, I could just talk to them. I really enjoy sharing my thoughts with strangers and either having them relate, or not. I'm also not gonna block anonymous comments, cuz I know some of the people that read this don't have Google accounts. I appreciate your reading everyday, even when you don't comment (hint hint- LOL).

So allow me to introduce Beats, Rhymes, and Life. I stole the title from the 1996 album by A Tribe Called Quest. They are one of my favorite groups, and that title really fits a hip hop head like myself. Even though its getting harder and harder to find quality hip hop music (that's another post), the beats and the rhymes are an integral part of my life. I hope this blog will serve as a reflection of my life. If you are an old reader, thanks for sticking with me and if you are a new reader, welcome to my life. I hope you like what you read.