Confessions: Barbie Girl Pt 2

This is the last one, no part 3. LOL

Panic swirled in my head as I tried to piece together the previous evening’s events. I was never one to be sexually indiscriminate, so the sight of a naked white body next to mine confused me. Or perhaps it was the Canadian club that was messing with me. Either way, my first instinct was to jump out of the bed, even though I wasn’t sure that my legs could accomplish that goal. Wait a minute… I thought to myself. You are still fully dressed. Your jeans aren’t even unbuttoned. Ain’t no way you did anything lascivious last night. I can’t explain the feeling of relief that came over me. I felt like a man that had been given a reprieve from the electric chair. Not so much because she was white, but because if I couldn’t remember it, there’s no telling what kind of freaky deaky unprotected stuff could have happened. I could have a Halfrican American kid living out in Kansas. She could have had me burning like the Watts Riots. I could have caught a Kobe case (or whoever the 1999 equivalent was.) Anyway, the relieved feeling that I had didn’t last long because Barbie was still in my hotel room. I tried to find a way to get her the hell out.

Ay yo, wake up!
Huuuuh??
Yo, its morning. Why are you still here?
Huuuh?

I wasn’t getting anywhere. I wasn’t sleepy anymore and I didn’t want to just sit there while she slept, so I did what any panicked Black man in KCK would do. I got the f*ck outta dodge. That’s right. I left her in my room, while I drove off, still a little drunk from the previous night. I saw just about everything there was to see in KCK, then I drove to KCMO and explored. I did just about everything I could do to avoid going back to that room. 3 hours later, I returned to the hotel to find that Barbie was no longer there. There’s that feeling of relief again. I laid down in my bad and vowed once again to stop drinking…

The next week, my job sent my homeboy out to Kansas to help me train these newbies. It was perfect. Lorenzo was one of the coolest cats I knew, and I was no longer the token Black guy; I was one of two. LOL Lorenzo and I used to call ourselves “The Insurance Thugs” which I’ve been told is mad corny, but at the time was dope to me and everybody else. He was the type of cat to smoke a L in the van at work and then come back and be better than ever. He was quasi married to Angela, a crazy chick that nobody but him liked. Their personalities were as different as fire and ice, but they somehow managed to make it work. We rode out together everyday after work. Watching the basketball games (My beloved Knicks were in the NBA finals) and finding cool spots in KCMO where the Black people were. When the weekend came, our co workers again asked me to hang out with them. I was understandably nervous at the prospect. Lorenzo didn’t quite understand so I told him the story.

Dog, you lying.
I wish. It was crazy.
What about your girl? Did you tell her?
Nah, nothing happened. I’ll just keep that one to myself. But that’s why I ain’t rolling with them.

So, I didn’t. A few other co workers had a get together so we hit that one up instead. It was deep in the hood of KCMO, but I felt at home there. The next week was the same old stuff: Working, dodging invitations, hanging out with Lorenzo. At the end of the 3rd week it was time to go home. My newfound coworkers wouldn’t take no for an answer and planned an outing for our last day in the KCK. Lorenzo convinced me to go head and go so we got up with them. It was a fun filled evening. I can’t remember all of it, but I remember we went to a hood club with some black co workers, then to a dance club with the white, then even later we wound up at some strip club in the middle of a corn field with dancers that expected you to tip just because they walked by Then it was back to another club that reminded me of a rave. Crazy. I don’t remember what I was drinking (or more accurately, what I was NOT drinking), but I do remember that at some point in the night, Barbie showed up.

Hey, how come you didn’t call me?
I didn’t have your number.
You coulda asked “such and such*
Yeah, hey this is my homeboy Lorenzo.
How you doing?

He flashed me the look indicating that he knew that was Barbie. He mouthed “stay strong” at me as Barbie and I talked. I tried to blend into the crowd dancing with the one Black girl in the club. No, really, she was the only one. Barbie was hanging tough though, never really letting me out of her sight for two long and buying me drinks at every opportunity. Did I mention that I was an alcoholic back in the day? Anyway, the night ended at one of the co workers apartments. I remember we were listening to music and Lorenzo was rolling a J, but after that its all a blur….

The next morning Lorenzo and I met up in the hotel lobby. We had to check out and then drive back to the airport. We had the following conversation while sipping on the complimentary orange juice. It was confession time.

Yo, I was so drunk last night.
I know kid, me too.
Son, I think I did something bad. Yo, you remember Barbie?
Yeah?
I think…She came back to the room with me.
You hit that?
Man, I did.
What about your girl?
I know. I can’t believe I did that.
Man, I’m sorry.
Man, I don’t even know how I’m gonna look my wiz in her eyes when I get back
Just be strong, homey!
I’m gonna tell her. I have to!
Noooo, don’t do that, yo!
I feel so guilty, maybe she’ll understand
Noooo, my brother. Take this to the grave. I won’t say anything and you shouldn’t either. I got your back.
What if she asks what I did last night?
Tell her everything except that I boned a white girl. Leave that part out man.

There was more to the conversation, but you get the point. One brother messed up, the other brother looked out for him. This is my confession. I helped Lorenzo get away with cheating on his girl with Barbie. What, you thought the story was gonna be about me? LOL I crack myself up. Y’all were really getting mad at me, weren’t you?Thought Rashan X sold out!!! Well, I didn’t…at least not back in 1999. That’s a whole nother confession. LMAO!!!

Confessions: Barbie Girl pt 1

I tried to get it all in one post, but then somebody distracted me. Now you get 2 parts. I'll try to write it as quickly as possible, but well, you know, it is what it is. I already had one confession this week.

Memorial Day 1999 – Savannah Georgia

The air hung thickly in the Savannah , Georgia night. I was working… on a holiday no less. I lamented the numerous barbecues I missed out on as I toiled away for much less money than I was worth. I was acting manager, a position that came with the prestige of the title, but with none of the perks. I still wasn’t getting a salary, but at least I only had to talk to customers in escalated situations. It was dead that night. Nobody was calling in on a holiday, much less at 9 PM. I sat talking to my soon to be girlfriend and my current almost jump off about anything and nothing just trying to pass the time. I still remember what I was wearing: Red Fila shorts and a matching red and blue Fila shirt. I know I know, but it was 1999 and I was fresh. LOL Anyway, the night and the previous nights clubbing had my head swimming, so I stepped outside to smoke a black. I usually went in the back and watched the airplanes in the adjoining airstrip, but this night I decided to sit in my ride and listen to music. I planned on taking an extended break, perhaps even taking a nap in the front seat laid back. That’s when she walked up on me…

Mr. Wel.don, can I see you for a minute when you finish your smoke?

Man, what was she doing here? LQ was the head of the whole center, a short, military woman that brought that same tenacity to her job. At times it was comical, but I wouldn’t want to be on wrong end of her boot camp tactics. I was a little concerned when I saw her at 10 PM on a holiday, especially since I was slacking on n the job instead of watching the troops. I quickly extinguished my cigar and headed back in the building after a quick pit stop to wash the smell of tobacco off me. She was waiting in her office when I arrived.

Mr. We.ldon. Have a seat.

I obliged. Now, I figured that she was gonna say something about me deserting my post, as she often talked in military terms with her subordinates, but I wasn’t going to volunteer anything.

Did you enjoy your break?

Yes, Ma’am.

I wanted to talk to you about something.

Uh oh, here it comes. Really it wasn’t that serious, even managers are allowed to take a break, right?

Okay!

We have an opportunity to open up another center in Kansas . I would like for you to head out there and train them.

Wow, really?

You've been doing a great job for us and I think this could be a good thing for your career.

When would the training be?

Can you leave tomorrow?

Huh? Um, I guess I can. I mean, this is just coming a little out of nowhere. I’m definitely grateful for the opportunity.

We talked a while longer about the logistics. I would fly out from Savannah to Kansas City, Missouri (Henceforth KC MO) the following morning I would then drive from KC MO to Kansas City Kansas (Henceforth KC K) in a rental car provided by the company. They also got me an extended stay hotel and a company credit card for emergency expenses. I knew I wasn’t gonna use that. I would just pay my own way, and get reimbursed through per diem. I was ready to roll. When I got there I wasn’t quite prepared for what I would find there.

The majority of the staff were melanin challenged. The majority of everybody around me was melanin challenged. In fact in the city of KC K , it seemed like I was one of only a few African Americans around. No matter, I can work with and get along with anyone, but it was just strange to me. The people were mad hospitable offering to show me around, cracking jokes with me, and learning from what I was teaching. We all got along great. So when Friday night came and they asked me to join them for a night on the town, I gladly accepted. That’s where I met Barbie.

Barbie isn’t her real name, it was Katie or Ashleigh or Jillian; something that lets you know that there aren’t too many brothers in the blood line. She was a friend of one of the people I was hanging out with. She was literally a life sized Barbie doll, from the alabaster skin, to the golden yellow hair, which she annoyingly flipped every 8 seconds. (I timed it LOL) She had that classic Barbie thing going on, big up top, on the bottom not so much. Small waist, tig ol bitties that I think were fake. Her first words to me were: Do you play football?

Whatever, chick. Don’t try to gas me. Although I know I have broad shoulders, I’m about 4 inches to short to make an impact on the gridiron. But whatever, for some reason she was really into me. I thought of the words that James, one of the few Black employees, dropped on me when he heard I was hanging out with his white co workers. He said..

"Man, these white girls out here are a different breed. You don't even have to try and you gonna fall into some white p*ssy."

I laughed it off of course. I wasn't interested. I had a girl or two at home I was trying to get at, and they had one thing in common. They definitely were not white. Call em dark and darker. Anyway the white co workers took me to get drinks at River Walk in KC MO, I think its called. But even before we got there, they had me drinking Canadian Club, so I was pretty blitzed. Barbie was hanging on me all night as we bar hopped. There was a group of about 10 of us that went out that night, but inevitably Barbie would wind up sitting next to me at the table. She was mad touchy feely, always brushing up against me or rubbing her (no) booty on me on the dance floor. At some point of the night, she asked me where I was staying. I don't remember this, but apparently I told her the hotel was and my room number. It musta been the liquor talking for me.

Anyway, I got back to my room and slept off the alcohol. I spent that Saturday cleaning up a mess between the potential jump off and the soon to be girlfriend. Apparently I had to choose, but that's a different story for a different blog. That night I had no plans except some phone boning and possible getting something to eat. Around 7 o'clock, there was a knock on my door. I opened it up to find Barbie standing there with a 5 pack of Sam Adams and a pizza.

Room Service... she joked.

I wasn't really laughing but I let her in anyway. It would have been rude not to. We sat around and chatted for awhile until it started getting uncomfortable. . I then suggested that she call her friends (my coworkers) so we could go out. Some of them came to my hotel room armed with that damn Canadian Club whisky. We took shots, (racist statement time: Why does it seem like white people always have something to celebrate? And why must they celebrate with shots?) I can't remember how many I took, but I know after awhile I just wanted them to get the hell outta my room so I could fall asleep. They were still there when I succumbed to sleep. The next thing I remember was the morning. Every morning I was in Kansas, the people in the room next to mine would blast Bills Bills Bills by Destiny Child when they were getting ready for work. It woke me up every time, and this day was no exception. When my eyes actually opened, a feeling of panic overtook me. I looked over and saw Barbie laying next to me, covered by a sheet, but obviously butt ass naked. What the hell happened here last night???