Rashan Vs. Dem Gangsta Cats Part 2*

If you read this post, you already know about the cat population by my crib. Actually, read that post when you get a chance. I'm freakin' hilarious. LOL. Anyway, I had another run in with a cat last night. ..



I was coming home from a long boring day at work. My manager, who for some reason went to culinary school, cooked for us. We had chicken leg quarters, some kind of fish, roasted potatoes, 4 cheese mac and cheese and a broccoli- carrot concoction. The food was pretty good, but being that I don't like to eat at work, I brought most of it home. Anyway, I get out of my car and walk up the stairs to my apartment, when all of a sudden a kitten comes running towards me. Normally, cats are scared of strangers, but not this one. She started purring and rubbing up on my leg. I'm like go away... Actual quote was "Hey, dawg! Beat it!" Yes, I know it was a cat and not a dog, and yes I know that he doesn't speak English. Anyway, I unlock my door and open it a little, but the kitten runs toward the door. I quickly shut the door, so she wouldn't get inside, but I didn't get inside either. Every move I make, the kitten followed. Jameil, who was on the phone with me tells me to stamp my foot in the kitten's direction. I tried that, but she wasn't scared. I made menacing movements, I lifted it up with my foot and moved it out of the way, I kicked it (softly, don't call PETA on me), but this little thing was determined to hang around and climb up my pants leg. Finally, I got an idea...

I had fish in my tupperware container. I opened it up, and threw some towards the adjacent apartment. Then when the kitten went to eat it, I opened the door and made my way in... Only, I underestimated the speed of this little kitten. Next thing I know, she's inside the apartment, and I'm outside looking stunned. She runs around my living room for a few seconds, as I am comically chasing her. She zig zags past me at each attempt to pick her up. Finally, I open my container of food again and throw another piece of fish outside. She runs out the door and I slam it shut, laughing at myself. For the next hour, this little cute kitten (yeah, I said it. she was cute) was meowing at my door. Poor little thing wanted to get out of the cold and get some real food. She had a collar on, so she probably belonged to somebody, I hope they found her.

*Technically, this cat was more stalker than gangsta, but I just wanted to use that title again. LOL

Rashan vs. Dem Gangsta Cats

Timeline: 2:17 AM - Atlanta, Georgia - Rashan's apartment

I was falling asleep watching Gone Baby Gone, when the phone rang interrupting me from my rest. What does she want now? Doesn't she realize that I'm not gonna answer the phone? Damn work stalkers! Irritation now replacing sleepiness, I got up and started cleaning the place up. Somebody told me that they don't like messy guys, and I guess that resonated. I picked my clothes up off the couch, wiped down the kitchen and gathered the trash from bathroom, bedroom and kitchen. I figured I should take this out now since sleep is out of the question.

I popped the trunk and placed the 2 Hefty bags in, started my car and drove around the corner to the trash dumpster. It was now 2:40 and I didn't figure anyone would be out at this hour. But I was wrong. Standing in front of the dumpster were them gangsta cats, 7 deep. The ringleader looked dead in my eye and didn't move, even as my car approached more closely. His boys stood behind him looking like they were ready to pounce. All I wanted to do was take my trash out.

I've been in situations like this before, so I wasn't scared. All it took was for me to flash one of my intimidating looks and walk tall and they would scatter. Them cats weren't about to run me off my mission. But tonight was different. These cats were bout it. I flashed my lights at them but they still didn't move. When I popped my trunk, they didn't even flinch. As I stepped out my car, they were still looking hard at me, like I was invading their territory. I peeped one of them cats gnawing on a chicken bone, like that hot wing plate was the only food he had in a week. I gathered my bags out of the trunk and walked towards the dumpster. The ringleader stepped up to me.

"Watch out, yo!" I exclaimed in a menacing voice to no avail. They weren't about to let me pass to throw my bags in the trash. One of them walked over to the driver's side of my car, which I had left slightly ajar. I have a fear of locking my keys in my car, so I didn't want to close it all the way. He eyed my vehicle like he was about to make it his, while the other cats encircled me. "Oh shit," I thought. It's about to go down at the dumpster. I gotta get out of this situation. If they pounced, I really had no defense except to hit them with the two trash bags I clutched in either hand.

They got closer, and my instinct took over. Fight or flight? Fight or flight? Could I take on all 7 of these cats without taking an L? It was doubtful, so in the interest of self preservation I swung the bags over my shoulder and made a beeline back to my car, nearly tripping over the one that was eyeing the driver's side door. I slammed the door and sped off, coming about *thisclose* to running one of them cats over. I heard screaming behind me as I looked out my rearview mirror.

"Meeeeooooowww"

I hate them damn gangsta cats. Aren't they supposed to be afraid of humans?