La Dolce Vita

So, I get home from work at 9 on Friday. Jameil is waiting for me after hours and hours of watching tv and using the internet. We were gonna hit up my fave old spot Eclipse Di Luna for tapas and caipirnhas, but I was actually hungry, so we decided to get something more substantial. We decided to hit up a restaurant in Atlantic Station and after perusing the menus online chose “Dolce.” I had never been there and it looked pretty cool online, so we headed there. After a couple of misadventures in parking in the garage, we arrived and found the spot. I was concerned that it would be packed as most Atlantic Station restaurants were back when I used to hang out down there. But when we got in, it was virtually empty.

The first thing I noticed was that the décor was really cool. And it was dark and romantic. I felt like I was underdressed, but the woman at the table next to us was rocking a tee-shirt, so we were cool. They had a live jazz band playing and although, I’m not really a fan of jazz (don’t shoot me) it was mellow and smooth and I dug it. Then I realized why I liked it: The band was playing contemporary music in a jazz style. Here are some of the songs they were playing:

Swagger Like Us
Chopped and Screwed
I Ain’t Mad At Cha
California Love
Flashing Lights
Lollipop
Mrs. Officer
I’m So Hood
Bust Your Windows
Green Light


Okay, now let me tell you about the annoying waitress. She sounded like a reject from that Hills show on MTV. We’ll just call her LC, cuz I don’t remember her real name. LC was waaaaaaaay too excited, talking 100 mph about everything on the menu. Jam and were like “We already know what we want” but it was hard to get a word in edgewise with her. She wanted to delineate every drink, special, appetizer and entrée. I was just looking at her like “breathe, child, breathe.” With all that speed, you woulda thought that the food would come quickly. You would be wrong. The drinks took forever, the appetizer took forever and a day and the entrée took forever, a day, and 37 minutes. Then once the food finally came, she kept checking on us like every 2.2 minutes. Give me a chance to taste my food before you ask me how it is. She was annoying, but despite that I was still digging the restaurant.

So, Jameil and I are eating. I had the Lobster Ravioli, she had some duck pasta thing that I would be doing a horrible disservice to by trying to spell. They both were really good. We’re eating and talking and texting Joy (who we met up with the next day) and listening to the Jazz band smooth out the latest hood hits, when all of a sudden I hear this:

**insert record scratching sound here**

What was that? Is there a DJ in the house now? 5 minutes later, the jazz band stops playing and the loudest, thumping-est, pulsating-est bass line you’ve heard in your life starts reverberating in the place. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but it was loud. And hood and totally killed the romantic vibe that Dolce had. If that wasn’t bad enough, some clown gets on the microphone and starts doing a radio promo.

“This is such and such from Hot 107.9. Welcome to Dolce…we about to get crunk… home of the sexiest…”

Honestly, I had no idea what he was saying. It was just a bunch of noise to me. People started milling about the restaurant, mixing and mingling like it was a club. Meanwhile, we still got food on our plates. Apparently after a certain time it becomes a club scene. It would have been nice for LC to let us know that during one of her way too frequent trips to the table. It was tres strange. How you gonna have a nice sit down Italian restaurant spot where the drinks cost $10 and has romantic lights, turn into a club? It wouldn’t have been so bad had I known and was finished with my meal, but for real, I don’t want to eat listening to Young Joc. That ain’t good for my digestion. LOL

Anyway, the vibe was killed, so we were just ready to get up out of there. I didn’t even stick around to get my Grand Marnier after dinner. I’ll know next time I go somewhere in Atlantic Station to make sure it doesn’t turn into a lounge. I guess I should have known when even the jazz band was playing hood hits what was in store for the evening. I didn’t like what they did… ALTHOUGH…. I woulda paid money to see the reaction of that older white couple that left about a half hour before the club started. That would have been comedy. I’m sure they wouldn’t have been more appalled than Jam and I.

Meet The Parents (and the friends) part 1

I guess I'll do the recap cuz Jameil doesn't have Internet right now. I'm sure she can do it much better than I could, but here goes nothing:

I left Atlanta around 5:30 in the morning. I had the bright idea that I would just leave before I got any sleep. It wasn't really intentional, but I was too wired to sleep, and by the time I got sleepy, it was time to go. The ride was about 4 hours, which normally would be a walk in the park, but since I had been up for over 24 hours, I had to stop a couple times and run around a gas station parking lot to keep myself awake. I got to Jameil's mother's house around 10. We chilled for a minute, looking at old pictures and stuff, then I accompanied Jam to run her errands. We did some major riding around the city, and I was so glad I wasn't driving, cuz I was about to fall out from lack of sleep. It was cool being with her, even though we were just doing regular mundane taking care of business stuff. Besides, I couldn't check into my hotel until 3. I stayed at the Dunhill in Uptown Charlotte, which looks really cool on the Internet, but was just aiight. The room was kinda small, and there was some renovation going on that I didn't expect, but was cool regardless. It was in a good central location downtown, oops, I mean uptown, and everything was in walking distance. I got about an hour of sleep, before Jameil's homegirls came over to pop bottles and interrogate me. LOL.

Meagan and Tasha came through around 7:30, 8:00 and we all talked and drank that bottle of champagne, Jam had been holding on to since she found out she was going to grad school. I was mad tired, but tried not to be the anti social dude I usually am. Truth be told, I was more nervous to meet her friends, than I was to meet the parents. More on that later. Anyway, after a while the 4 of us went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant. I'm pretty sure this is the spot, Cantina 1511, but I was not really paying attention on the ride there, cuz I was sleep in the car. I know I musta looked-ed crazy falling asleep so much, but dangit, I was tired. LOL. The food was crazy good, and they had fresh guacamole which made Jam happy, which made me happy. I got this huge chimichanga thing, that I still got leftovers from and just may be today's lunch, if I remember to bring it to work with me. Laughing, drinking, talking etc..etc..etc.. and then we went out to a club.

For real, when we got to the club, I was having Savannah flashbacks. It wasn't hood, per se, but it was definitely country. What was the club called?? Oh yeah, The Savoy. They don't have a website. There was all manners of coonery going on there. I'll let Jam post them pictures, since they are on her camera, but suffice it to say, the 4 of us were the flyest cats in the spot. I felt like I should have been rocking a white tee and some J's to fit in. For the most part, we just chilled in the back at a table talking and laughing (at people). My personal favorite was the DJ who kept berating everybody for singing the radio version of The Dreams "I Love Your Girl" instead of the dirty version, all while playing...THE RADIO VERSION! Also, I seem to remember getting cursed out over music all night, but I was sleepy, so I may have been imagining that. LOL. Also, they had that club picture thing going on in the back, and people were posing in front of pictures of champagne bottles and dice. It was hilarious to me. Got back to the room around 3 and crashed out. Minus the hour of sleep I got while waiting for Jameil's homegirls to come through, I had been up for about 42 hours.

Woke up the next morning around 10 and ordered some breakfast from room service. It came from the restaurant attached to the hotel. Yo, that French toast was crazy good. Anyway, we procrastinated for awhile longer, watching When Harry Met Sally, which Jameil had been trying to get me to watch for what seems like ages. When we finally got up and at 'em, we took a walk in the downtown area. I mean, uptown area. Why Charlotte gotta be all different? The area with the skyscrapers is downtown to me, but they call it uptown. Anyway, immediately outside the hotel, they were having an Irish Pride Festival. We walked through and saw some drunken behavior, but didn't hang out too long. We walked around uptown for awhile and then stopped at Fuel for lunch. My chicken parm calzone was hot and Jam's buffalo chicken pizza was good too. Did some more walking around (noticing a theme? walking and eating were a big part of this weekend!) and checked out this photo gallery thing called the Light Factory on the way back to the hotel. Had to make sure we were back in the room in time for Jam to watch Project Runway. Okay, fine, I watched it too. LOL

Later that night, we went back out for another walk around the city in search of some food. We ended up at this spot, but the wack azz waitress never came and took our order, so we bounced. Walked around some more before deciding on Rock Bottom Brewery. The food was good, the service sucked again, but the beer had me not really caring that much. Another one of Jameil's friends, JoEllen called and we made plans to meet up for some drinks across the street at Fox and Hound. I just realized this is getting mad long, so I'll finish the recap a little later. I just got back in town, and I probably should get some sleep before it's time to go to work. I didn't even get to the Meet the Parents stuff, but I'll do that later. Happy Monday!

My Weak-End!

For the second weekend in a row, I did nothing. Well, nothing outside the house. I'm about to have my social butterfly status revoked. Allow me to reintroduce myself... Hi, My name is Rashan and I'm a recluse. So what did I do all weekend? Actually, it was to my liking. I politicked on the phone with various and sundry people. I denied myself sleep to have early morning conversations. I baby sat my lil nephew Justin for a little bit. I chilled with my nephew Tarik and my niece Dominique before they went back to Savannah. And I got the best news ever!!!!

Speedy and Mane McGuineapig are no longer residents of my apartment. When my sister left a few weeks ago, the guinea pigs stayed with me. No room in my mom's crib for them. I had to feed those vile creatures every day, which would not be such a problem except for the fact that I am extremely allergic to them. Seriously, 5 minutes in the same room with them turns me into a snot factory. You shoulda seen me feeding them for the last 2 weeks. I would go into the spare bedroom where they were residing holding my breath for as long as I could. I would grab the water bottle and run out of the room and exhale. After filling the bottle with fresh water, I'd hold my breath again, and put down their food and hay and run out again. It didn't always work. Sometimes, I was on the phone and had to actually inhale their pet dander. Other times it took me too long to get everything situated. Plus when my sister was here this week, she would keep forgetting to close the door to the room, so I still felt the effects. I'm glad to say though, no more guinea pigs for me!!! I can breathe again, much to the dismay of a certain somebody that derived a perverse pleasure from my suffering. LOL Speedy and Mane are now at my brother's crib. I hate animals. My kids can only have fish. Such is my decree. It Was Written!!!

I have a super sucktastic schedule at work this week. I was supposed to work Saturday, but I had put in vacation for Kareem's wedding that may or may not have taken place. I also had vacation for Thursday. When I'm scheduled for Saturday, I get another day off during the week, which is usually Friday, but since the 4th falls on that day, I was given another day. These dirty so and so's gave me Tuesday off. Huh? Come on, why not just let me have Wednesday so I can have a 5 day weekend? Or even if it was Monday, it woulda been a 3 day-er. But as it stands. I work Monday, have Tuesday off, and go back on Wednesday, before taking the rest of the week off. I know I shouldn't really complain since I only gotta work 2 days, but what if I wanted to take a road trip? They be messing around.

Anyway, that's what's going on with me. Exciting, huh? My friend Senita might be coming up here for the 4th, so I'm sure I wont have a third weekend of hermitage. Whether she comes or not, I'm on the prowl for someone's cookout for the 4th. Really, though I need to get up out of Atlanta for a minute. I thought about going somewhere over the long holiday weekend, but last minute flight prices were crazy expensive. I shoulda planned this out earlier. Anyway, hope you have a good Monday, and I'll holla back.

The Streak

The streak is over. No, not that streak. The one that had me out and about on the town for the last month. I went out at least once for the past 4 weeks. I went to regular clubs, adult clubs, grown and sexy clubs, eclectic cafes. I was in Atlanta, and Clarkston, and Savannah. I went with Jamie and Lakesha, and Senita and Joy and La, and Kristie, and DeAndrea, and Daniele and Kareina and KY amongst others. I think I have fulfilled my social butterfly quota for awhile. So, this weekend: Guess what I did? I chilled.

That’s right, I chilled out and did nadadamthing. Nathan. Zero. Zilch. Zed. In fact the only time I left the crib was when I went to get my haircut and to go grocery shopping (and when my nephew and nieces guinea pigs were wreaking havoc on my allergies. I’ll be glad when them creatures are outta my crib.) I talked on the phone (I may need an intervention), and watched movies (Netflix instant viewing is what’s up), and emailed all night, but really I did nothing. And it felt so good. I was glad not to go out at all this weekend. I was supposed to go back to Luckie Lounge on Friday, but I so didn’t feel like going. I was thinking up excuses when I got the text that said we weren’t going. Even though I’m pretty sure the reason was a lie (I ate some bad shrimp at work – yeah, right!!!) I didn’t care cuz it saved me from being the party pooper. Lord knows I didn’t feel like going. I didn’t even have my haircut and that’s a prerequisite before any outings. I wasn’t looking busted, but I wasn’t looking one hunnid, ya nah mean?

That brings me to the next thing I didn’t do. I didn’t read any blogs. I didn’t respond to my comments. I’m a have to get up on that. Maybe tonight, but more likely tomorrow. Don’t feel neglected if I haven’t gotten to you, I was just in chill mode. I’ll holla!

If You See Me On MySpace...

Them photos were digitally manipulated. It wasn't me. I wouldn't do nothing like that. I'm saying, the last thing I would ever be is hugged up on some girl I don't know. In the club no less. With people looking on...Matter of fact, I wasn't even there. I stayed home. I know I was saying I was gonna go to Luck.ie Loun.ge on Friday, but I didn't make it. That's right, my cat was sick and I had to take him to the vet. So, them pictures... they ain't me.

I mean, for real. Do I look like the type that would be hanging out with Kristie, Deandrea, Danielle, Kareina, her racially ambiguous friend (I have since found out she's white) and some girl that told me to call her K.Y.? I mean, if someone told me to call them that, I'm pretty sure they would get The Smirk. Especially if that was really me, sipping on Tanq and Tonics all night. But it wasn't me. No way I was in the club buying $10 shots of Patron for the ladies. And $12 Peach margaritas? Nah, I wouldn't do that. I'm way too cheap to do something like that.

You know how you know it wasn't really me? This doppelganger was on the dance floor. We all know I can't dance. That dude was out there dancing without any prodding. Does that sound like me? Dancing to reggae? We all know how I feel about music that I don't understand the lyrics to. I.just.don't.do.it. I mean, I can dig Mu.rder, Sh.e Wr.ote or Gh.etto Stor.y, but when you get to them obscure dancehall joints, I have to decline. Can you picture Rashan dancing on the floor with 4 women dropping it around him? Can you see me hanging out while some stranger rubbed her booty up on me and I'm not in a strip club? Nah, it wasn't me..

But back to them pictures. I'm trying to get them emailed to me so I can see why people think its me. I could see me taking pictures of myself, you know I like to do that. But with some girl named K.Y. that I just met that night? Who told me to make sure I got "all of this" in the picture, followed by a Vanna White wave down her short body? Someone who told me to put my hands "lower" when I rested my hands respectfully on her back? Who told the camera person to take another picture, because you couldn't see my hands on her booty? Who put a leg up on the bar stool to make the picture more provocative? That doesn't sound like someone I would be associating with, does it? Just because she looks like she could be one of my girlfriends, doesn't mean anything. If you see them pictures on MySpace, just remember that wasn't me. Now, I know how Kels feels.

Friday Night Lights

Friday was one of my work homegirls last day. To commemorate the night, a few of the co workers and I decided to take her out to celebrate. It was suggested by someone else that we go to a strip club. After some arm twisting, I agreed. LOL. After work, we headed to Strokers. I led the way, since I literally live within drunk staggering walking distance. I was followed by Jamie, the one that was leaving and Lakesha in their respective vehicles. We got there around 10:45, and waited another 10 minutes for 2 other co workers: Keb (I mentioned her before as the one that wore a fresh men's suit to work) and Jimmy. It was still pretty early, so the usual line around the corner was non existant. We paid our $1o and went in the club.

Our first move was to the bar. I got Jamie and Lakesha a couple of Lemon Drops and me a Henn and Coke. I was the sponsor for the evening. Don't trip, I wasn't one of those cats that gets tricked into paying for drinks. I was doing it because I wanted to. I wanted to show the ladies a good time. And no, I wont be your sponsor. LOL. Keb and Jimmy got their own drinks and next we found a table close to the stage. Now, when I roll to the strip club solo, I usually stay far away from the stage. I'm not much of a tip the stage kinda guy. I figure why pay for what I can see for free. Is that wrong? LOL My money is usually spent more on table dances, which are more personal, but I was with other people so when with Romans, right?

We laughed and watched the dancers, and before I knew it, my cup was empty, so I headed back to the bar with Lakesha. Patron for me this time. Forget all that slow motion drinking, I graduated to shots to get a buzz going quicker. 2 more Lemon Drops for the ladies. Keb and Jimmy are tossing dollars on the stage. I'm just chilling watching it all go down. I had a mini stack of ones thanks to the bartender giving me extra change from the second set of drinks. She should have given me a 10 stack, but instead gave me a 20 stack. That worked for me. Might as well recycle that money.

I gave Lakesha some ones to toss at the dancer on the stage. It was fun watching women tip women. Keb and/or Jimmy had brought a girl over for a table dance. When she was finished, we motioned for her to dance for Jamie, who was uncomfortable at first but managed to make it through unscathed. Lakesha was putting dollars where the sun don't shine in unmentionable places. The song was over and the girl left. It was time for more Patron. And more lemon drops. And more tipping etc etc etc. There was this one dancer that Keb and Jimmy were mad excited about. Let's just say her assets were so large that she looked like she was gonna fall over. They grabbed her for a dance while I was at the bar again with Lakesha. I came back to see her doing a headstand and nearly spilled my drink doing a double take. It was wild.

The rest of the night I remember, but it was really only in flashes... At some point, I tried to convince Jamie that she should dance for me. I was holding out a $20 which she tried to grab from me, but it ripped. W.hite Chocola.te from the "T.ip Dr.ill" video got the stage to herself and sucked. She didn't hardly even move. Not my type anyway, but still it was disappointing that she didn't put on a good show. Anybody watch Colleg.e Hi.ll? I don't, but apparently the stripper that slept with one of the cast was in the house. I got a dance from her and people around me were mad groupie-ish. I had no idea who she was though. I remember being an ass to the bathroom attendant. He tried to sell me a $7 pack of Bla.ck&Mild.s and kept talking too much and not moving the line along fast enough. I asked him "if I give you some money, will you shut the hell up?" He said yes, so I put a few in the tip jar. LOL. There was this one dancer who was on stage doing pole tricks. Lakesha wanted to tip her but said she was scared. Not sure why, since she had been tipping all night. Anyway, I did my civic duty and took her to the stage and showed her how to do it right. Got offered $500 by Keb to get a strippers phone number (I didn't get it. Didn't even try) Eventually they were ready to leave and were going to The Ve.lvet Roo.m.

When we were leaving, this Bama in a checkered short and shirt outfit, with gold teeth, tried to holla at Jamie and Lakesha. But first he tried to clear it with me. "Hey, playa. Which one of these is yours?" I bout cracked up. They toyed with him for a few minutes before sending him on his way sans phone number. The dude came with every corny line you can think of. It was like a bad stereotype. By this time, Jimmy had rolled out somewhere. I was so close to my crib that I could taste it so I was just gonna call it a night. I wasn't sure I was in dress code for Velvet Room anyway. Keb tried (successfully) to punk me into going with them to the next club. "Nigga, you got these beautiful ladies tryna go to the club with you and you gonna take yo ass home?" Okay, so I told them I would go. We each hopped in our respective rides and formed a 4 car caravan. I was in the back since I didn't know exactly where the club was. As I'm following them, I realize that they didn't know either. They took a wrong turn on LaVista, then took a U-turn to go the other way. I stayed with them for awhile until they ran a red light. At that point, we got separated. I called Jamie to see where they were, but she was following Lakesha, who I found out later was following Jimmy even though I thought he had already left. She told me where they had turned, but I couldn't catch up with them. Plus, I really wanted to not be driving anymore, so I told Jamie that I was going home and that I would see her another time. Turns out they never made it in Velvet Room, but parking lot pimped for a minute. I'm glad I didn't stick around for that.

So that was my Friday night. I came home and took a shower and dozed off watching "The Do.ors." I had some crazy dreams, then got up and went to work. This was my rotational Saturday to work, so I have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off this upcoming week. Friday night, at Luckie Lounge. If you are in the city come on out and say what's up! Or don't, I'ont care. LOL! This post woulda been so much better with pictures, but people was mad camera shy and by the time we got out of Strok.ers, I forgot I had my camera in the whip. Maybe next time.Talk to you later...

I Shoulda Rolled Solo

Please forgive the tense changes...I was sleepy when I wrote this and don't feel like going back to change past tense to present tense or vice versa....

So, the Ery.kah B.adu and Ro.ots concert was tonight. I went with an old acquaintance named Marina. She was my last minute companion as my other plans fell through. Let me back up for a minute.

Originally, when I bought the tickets, I had no idea who I was gonna go with. I wasn't dating anybody at the time, but I figured that in the month span, someone would pop up on my radar. As it became obvious to me that wasn't going to happen, I came up with my back up plan. I was gonna go with my sister. She was the one that introduced me to The Ro.ots back in the '90s and I know she hardly ever goes out without her kids. I figured it would be cool. We used to do stuff like that a lot. We've been to a couple of Pri.nce concerts together, taken a couple of trips to Chicago together (my brother came too once), so I figured that it would be cool to hang with my big sis before she moves next month. Unfortunately, her kid's grandmother died this week, so she had to go out of town to take them to be with her ex husbands family in the country somewhere. So, I was back to square one. I found out about this on Tuesday night.

That left me 3 days to find someone to go with. Well, really 2 because I forgot for most of Wednesday. I thought about who I wouldn't mind hanging out with for 3 hours and came up with a short list. My work crush couldn't get the day off of work (she works until 10 like me.) My other work homey was going out of town. Kristie had stuff to do. I went to bed Thursday night/Friday morning not knowing who I was gonna roll with. I wasn't really stressing it, but I probably should have had a greater sense of urgency. Woke up Friday afternoon, like 6 hours before the show and remembered that Marina really liked Badu. I sent her a text, which she promptly returned saying she wanted to go. Now, to be honest, I hadn't talked to Marina for like 4, 5, 10 months. I only had her number still because it was written on a book of matches that I haven't used from like 2 years ago. Anyway, she was down, so my search was over.

I went to get my haircut, (pictures when I feel like uploading them) and while I was in the chair, Marina called me to confirm. I told her it was on and that I would call her when I got out the barbershop (this is not the actual barber that cut my hair, but he works in the same shop.) She called 2 more times before I was done. The first time I answered and told her I was still getting my line up, the next I was like "what have I gotten myself into?" I remembered why I had stopped calling her. Marina is one of those people that need instant gratification. She will keep calling until you pick up. While if the nature of our relationship was different, I could possibly give her a pass, we weren't that kind of friends. Eventually, I just stopped answering altogether and she stopped trying. But dumb Rashan just had to rekindle the friendship fires.

Leaving the barbershop, I called her. We came up with a place to meet. I wasn't planning on driving to the Fox, I was gonna take the train. She lives out in Cobb County, I'm out in DeKalb, so it didn't make sense for one of us to drive across town to pick the other up. We made plans to meet at the Marta station at 7:30. I went home to print out the tickets, (yes, I know I should have done that way before now), and my printer is not working. I switch it out with my old cheap printer, and that one is out of ink. Not knowing anyone nearby with a computer, I went to Fe.d.ex/Ki.nk.os to print the tickets. Marina calls me again. She asks if we can meet somewhere else. I'm like whatever. Just get there. Tickets are printed, and all of a sudden the skies open up and monsoon like rainshowers fall. I treacherously drive home, iron my clothes, jump in the shower and I'm ready to go. Marina calls yet again: This time she's telling me that it'll be 8 before she gets there. That's what time the show started, but I understood. The rain made traffic a little worse than usually, and when you throw in the Memorial Day traffic, its just that much worse. So, I drive to the Avondale train station. Park my joint, find the right train and get there like 7:45. By then the rain had stopped falling, so that was good.

Marina calls again. She is supposedly looking for a parking lot that isn't full (there are no trains out in Marietta). I see the line in front of the Fox and know that I'm already gonna miss some of the show. Marina finds a spot and calls me and tells me where she is. I walk down to her to meet her halfway... we hug hello and I usher her as quickly as possible to the door. It's now 8:15....and we aren't even inside yet. (This is getting too long, so the rest of the post will be on fast forward)

I see some people I know in line... Say what's up, give dap and hugs... Didn't introduce Marina... Marina introduces herself as "Shawn's date."... Resist urge to ask what that was about... get inside... Marina talks me to death... "I don't know this song"... "What'd she say?"... "Is that incense?"... no its weed...Thinking to myself, "shut up and listen" or "I know I can't hear you, but that's no reason to grab my shoulder and yell in my ear."... See some more people I know...give them the head nod...Marina sits closer to me...damn near on my lap... wonder how she managed to get that close with the armrest being there...Marina asks me more questions that I can't hear...show's over...get ready to leave...someone steps on her shoe...exaggerated limping...wish she would suck it up and stop making a spectacle of herself...walk her to her car...tells me she had a great time...she misses her friend...I should call her more often...I'm thinking see you in another 4, 5, 10 months you annoying annoying woman...feel like a big loser for having to reach waaaaaaay back in the archives to find someone to go with...get over it quickly...get a text from work crush asking me about the concert... find out that the coworkers are going to Ve.lvet Ro.om for the after party...hop on the train back to Decatur...Get to the car...Marina called to tell me she was home...decide to pass on the club for the evening...come home...watch some movies...have some conversations...write a long ass blog post....the end....

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention this: The concert was great!!! More on the actual show later, or not. We'll see.

Wait A Minute, I'm A Liar

All of a sudden I'm attractive, I'm handsome, I'm gorgeous/But back in the day you used to say you can't afford this/I wreck shops and got props from New York to Cali/I'm Big Willie, you silly Sally from the valley/Ain't nuttin changed... wait a minute, I'm a liar/The crib is definitely doper and the girls a lot flyer/(Here is something you can't understand)/So tell me y'all, who's the man?

Heavy D - "Who's The Man" 1992

I know I said I wasn't gonna do anything this weekend, but I'm a liar. Well, liar is a little strong, but I did change my mind. Or rather, my mind was changed for me. I had full intentions of just going home and watching Lo.st on AB.C.co.m, but I got a phone call from my co worker homey, telling me that they were going to get some chicken and waffles. She's really cute, so of course I went. LOL. It was cool. They don't close until 4 in the morning and for once I didn't get lost going downtown. I guess that counts as going to dinner. I wouldn't quite call it a date, but I did hang out with the girl from last week. No extracurriculars this time though. Got home around 5 and watched my TV shows. I forgot that I was supposed to be babysitting my nephew while my sister went to brunch.

Around 9:30, after like 2 hours of sleep, I was up with Carlin. Luckily, I was able to pop in a Spide.rm.an DVD to keep him occupied while I half slept. When my sister got home, I went to do another thing on my list: Find a new chair. As much I hate going to WalMart, I did it. I found my chair, but of course it wasn't in stock. Went to another W.alM.art, same thing. Not in stock. It was crazy. I started to give up, but then I checked out Of.fice Dep.ot and Tar.get and they had some chairs, but them joints were like double the price. So, obviously I'm still in my broke up chair right now. I'll check the W.alM.art by my job on Monday. That'll give me something to do on lunch. Got home and washed some clothes, but they are all sitting waiting to be folded and hung. I told you that's the part I hate the most.

I was out of the house for much of the day, but when I got home I still had a little cabin fever. I just didn't feel like sitting around. I started to go spend some unnecessary money at Pin Ups, but there were cop cars in the parking lot when I rolled by. I guess Pac.Ma.n Jon.es was in town or something. LOL. Anyway, it worked out for the best. I rode around for a bit and then came back home with all my money still in my pocket. I can use that for something else. *sidenote* Why are the co workers going to a strip club next Friday after work? I can't go cuz I'll be at the Eryk.ah Bad.u concert. I'm a have to see if they are still there once the show is over. I would kill to see how some of these women act in the strip club. I should print out my Strip Club Commandments for them. *sidenote over* Maybe I'll do nothing today. I know I gotta watch Game 7 of the Boston-Cleveland series, but that's about it.

Hold up, I just heard 2 gunshots. At least I think they were gunshots. I don't know where they were coming from, but it sounded mad close. I wonder if the creepy guy upstairs has finally snapped. Lemme turn off these lights and peep out the window to see what's going on. I hear sirens, but I don't see any flashing lights, so maybe it wasn't as close as I thought it was. Anyway, I'm gonna go be nosy and check this out. Have a good Sunday!

Things I'm Not Gonna Do This Weekend

It's Friday, yo! Time to celebrate, hit the town, maybe meet some nice eligible women. At the very least, sip on something with my friends. Yeah, I'm not gonna do any of that this weekend. I could come up with some good plans, but chances are I'm gonna be sitting at home this weekend twiddling my thumbs in between sporadic phone call ducking and Internet TV watching. I know, pathetic, but I kinda like it. Last weekend was my go out time, this weekend, Umma do me nothing. But if I wasn't feeling withdrawn, these are some of the things I might do.

Go out to dinner. There's nothing like hanging out with good friends with good food and good drink. I wanna go back to this spot. I haven't been there since I hung out with some bloggers almost a year and a half ago. It doesn't have to be there, just somewhere a little more upscale and different than the same old spots I frequent with my people. It's already on the itinerary to go back here in a couple weeks, but you know, that's a couple weeks away.

Go out on a date. I could combine the dinner thing with the date thing. Maybe take a nice young lady out and have shut down the restaurant conversations, my favorite. I wanna check this place out. I think the whole rotating thing is cool. I went to one when I was in Kansas City, but not in my own city. I think that would be a nice setting for a date. Maybe check out the High Museum for some art and jazz. I know, I'm all about hip hop, but I can be diverse. It just looks cool. Or check out a show at the Alliance, although I think its closed right now with all that construction going on downtown. Do something grown up for a change.

Take my nephew and niece to a Braves games. I see they are in town this weekend. I haven't been to a game in a couple years. Last time was a playoff game. Me and Tarik had a good time. I could have a last hurrah before they blow this city and I see them once in a blue moon like the rest of my family. I should have thought about this earlier. I don't even know if they are with my sister or her ex husband this weekend.

Go to a movie. I'm embarrassed to say the last time I went to a movie was like in July or August. I went to see the Bourne Supremacy with PHD. I didn't realize how long it's been since I did that. I'm definitely a DVD guy, but going to a movie is a quick simple way to get out of the house. Plus I can do it by myself. No searching around for someone to accompany me. What's even playing though?

Hit up a strip club. I know good and well I'm not going to any of those clubs that constantly advertise on the radio. You know those free until 11, ballers are here, type clubs. I'm also not trying to hit up those old playa up in the club spots either. (Diva, Jameil, Desy...shut it up. I can already hear your brains working. LOL) But this guy at work was telling me about a hip hop spot, only he couldn't remember the name. I should see if he remembers what it is. I could get with that.

Go see Duran Duran. Word bond, son! (Like the way, I talked hip hop to cover up my inner white guy?) They gonna be at the Chastain Ampitheatre on Saturday. I know I might be the only Black guy there, but I grew up on them cats. Don't get me started on how I would rock out to their music back in New York. Let "The Reflex" or "Hungry Like A Wolf" come on and watch how quickly I abandon my hip hop demeanor and transform into that 10 year old that was geeked out watching those videos in New York (mostly because at the time you couldn't find hip hop and R&B videos on regular TV.) Yeah, I know I'm not gonna actually do that, but its a thought.

Go buy a new office chair for my computer. I gots to do this one. I niggarigged the loveseat up to the computer last night. Had the keyboard and the mouse next to me so I could get comfortable. Guess who fell straight asleep and woke up with qwerty on his forehead? Okay, not literally, but I did wake up on top of the keyboard like it was my pillow. You saw how broke up the chair is. I'm gonna have to go get one soon.

Wash clothes. Yeah, right. As long as I have clean drawers and t shirts, that laundry is gonna continue to pile up. It really hasn't been that long, but there's no excuse when all I have to do is walk towards the back of the apt to wash clothes. It would be different if I had to lug them to a laundromat. To be honest, its not even the washing that bothers me, its the folding and hanging up that gets on my nerves.

Yeah, that's what I'm not gonna do this weekend. I'm gonna more than likely just veg out and be a bum. I know I should be getting out, but I don't feel like being around people right now. I just want to relax and do nothing. Is that so bad? If it is, then too bad. It is what it is. What aren't you gonna do this weekend?

Day 1 of 3

I'm typing this fresh off of some drank, so forgive me if I start rambling. I'm not drunk by any means, but I can still feel it just a tad...

So, I'm in the midst of a 3 day weekend. I'm off Friday, Saturday and Sunday and I couldn't be happier. Although work is not really stressing me and there are some cool people that I've gotten to know at work over the last couple of weeks, I would much rather be NOT working. I'll take that R and R any day. Today, wasn't exactly what I would call relaxing, but it was cool nonetheless. The first thing I did today was to watch Lost and Grey's Anatomy on the computer. Lost was good, but not as good as the last few episodes. Re: Greys...Jam, you were right, I didn't like that crap. I mean, I get what they were going for, but the whole episode seemed wack, not just the part with Private Twan. The whole subplot with the dating disclosures was far fetched too.


Oh yeah, the whole point of talking about watching these shows was so I could tell you about what had happened the other night. So, I've had the same chair at my desk for 3 years. It was a cheap little leather computer chair I copped from Walmart and put together. BTW, I completely have no aptitude for putting stuff together. I can't follow those instructions for anything. Okay, so Thursday morning, I'm sitting at computer trying and failing to finish my Questions post. It's 4 AM and I'm a little sleepy. I'm not comfortable in my chair, so I lean over to the right. In doing so, I completely flipped over the chair and fell on my ass. I just sat there for a few minutes, like did this really happen? I swear it was the funniest thing and if I had video, I would definitely share it. In the course of my fall, I broke the chair handle. Pictures below.... So, my chair is broken, so what do I do? I turned my love seat around and pushed it in front of the computer. LOL. It doesn't look good, but it sure is comfortable. LOL



The chair was old, but I'm cheap. I don't want to buy another one. We'll see how long I can roll with the love seat thing...

Okay, so after the computer tv watching thing, I go to get a haircut. The guy that cut my hair last time was leaving to get lunch so I went to this other cat. He did an all right job, but not like last time. Last time's cut was extra fresh, this one was more run of the mill. He also cut too much off the top. I'm trying to get my curly afro game popping and he set me back a couple of weeks. I left the barbershop and went to my least favorite place on earth: the mall. I went to Northlake cuz it's close and they have a Macy's there. Usually I can go in Macy's, find what I want and jet without stepping foot into the rest of that godforsaken place. Today was no exception. Copped a few summer shirts, some replacement work pants, and some smell good and bounced within 25 minutes. I realized I forgot to get shoes after I left, but that will have to wait until I feel like darkening the malls doorstep again. Here are pictures of my post haircut camera whoring...



Ignore the off brand lotion in the forefront. You probably didn't even notice until I said something. I think this is the only picture I've posted that features more than just my head and shoulders.


My head and shoulders...

Later that afternoon, I hung out with my family. All of my nephews and my niece were there. My brother came through with the little one. We played and watched Elmo in Grouchland on HBO On Demand and the big kids played on my computer. Nothing special, but just real cool to be able to have them all together. Might be the last time I see them all together before they move to Savannah... Maybe not... Regardless...Here are more and more pictures...



Me and all the kids...


Carlin, Dominique and Justin. This a temporary tattoo on Carlin's arm. It's not a horrible burn caused by a neglectful uncle. LOL


Me, Carlin and Just Blaze... This was take 47, I think. Kids wouldn't look at the camera.

That leads to the nighttime maneuvers. I went out. I hung out with Kristie for awhile. Her fiancee was there too for a minute, but he was with his coworkers and they left before we did. Got nice and buzzed. Had some good laughs, had some real talk, hurt some feelings... you know a typical Friday night. Then a little later, I hit up another spot for a little while to hang out with some co workers. Interesting developments there. You know how people sometimes act differently in public than they do at work? For the most part, everyone maintained their personalities which was cool. No crazy belligerent, can't handle their liquor tirades... at least while I was there. Those could have happened before I arrived since I was mad tardy. Anyway, I hung out with my young homegirl from work and another cool girl for most of the time I was there. Had some more drinks, talked a little trash, got a little flirty, broke one of my rules... Good times... We'll see if things are still all good when I go back to work on Monday.

I may have been feeling the drink when I first started, but I'm good now. Hopefully tomorrow will be another day filled with good stuff. Have a great weekend!!!

Three Day Weekend

Forgive me, Blogger for I have sinned...

Yep, I know I've been slacking on my blogging. It's not like me to take Tuesday and Thursday off but you know it be's like that sometimes. This is the part where I insert some lame excuse that nobody wants to hear. Truth is, I just haven't felt like it. I mean, I have excuses galore. For example, I could tell you that I haven't been posting because of my allergies. The pollen is so thick in Atlanta that all the cars, parking lots, mailboxes, etc are covered in yellow powder. It's so bad that I'm either sneezing, or I'm out of it from taking that medicine. That's a good excuse right? Or I could tell you that work has been crazy and I've not had as many spare moments to write at work like I used to. When I come home the last thing I want to do is be on the computer again. How about that one? Does that excuse work for you? If not, then try this one. I've been stressed out by all the money I've spent over the last 2 weeks getting my car fixed twice, getting a new phone, taking care of family. I could tell you that, but that's not really the truth.

Truth is, I just didn't feel like blogging. I got plenty of blog ideas, but when I sat down to write them, I just wasn't feeling it. Same thing with reading. I just didn't feel like reading blogs either. I don't know, it was just that kind of week. I didn't really want to do anything except sit around watching dvds. It was kind of a lost week as far as blogging goes for me, but I think I'm back now. Or at least I should be after my 3 day weekend.

Got big plans this weekend. Well, maybe not big plans, but I do have smedium plans. I'm supposed to get out the house and be social. I'm off work tomorrow since I had to work last Saturday, so I'll be able to catch happy hour with Kristie and them. It'll be good to hang out with my friend, and my drunk wrestling partner (Jameil and Diva, she is NOT a man, camera phone pics if I can) is supposed to be there too.

Tangent: I got to get my haircut first. I'm thinking about letting my hair grow out some. Not like a fro or anything, but not so close to my scalp as I usually get it. I'm not gonna get my Gregory Abbott on like this picture

But I want a little more hair so I can get past this fuzzy sticking up phase that its in right now. Maybe let it grow a little more like in this picture.

Did I tell you I'm bringing the box back for '09? It's gonna be like 1990,1991 and 1992 all over again. Like these high school pictures. Yes, those are beads and Africa around my neck. LOL.

What was I saying... oh yeah. Happy Hour. After that, I'm supposed to go hang with some of my coworkers at some grown and sexy club. I can already see myself flaking out of this one. Last time I went there, I got hit on by a woman old enough to be my mama, and did I mention how much I hate those do-this-dance-to-my-instruction-dances? If I wanna sliiiide to the left, I'll do it, but not because you told me to. Plus, I don't know how these work people will act outside of the job. If I get enough get-right fluid in me during Happy Hour, perhaps I'll still slide through.

Saturday, I'm supposed to hit up a birthday dinner and drinks thing for someone I know from someone else. I don't know when it is, but its supposed to be at my usual spot. Even though, the birthday girl sometimes comes across a little bougie, it should still be fun. At the very least, I'll get a few caipirinhas and talk lots of shit and make somebody, anybody call me a jerk. That'll be fun. Oh yeah, and I'm supposed to get up with an old friend for dinner and/or drinks if she can ever fit me into her schedule. Yes, I'm talking to you! You know I don't be making an effort like this, so I'm a need you to get it together. LOL. Sunday will be my day of rest. At least I hope so. The last couple of weekends all kinds of stuff has been popping up, but hopefully I'll just be able to chill.

Hopefully after and/or because of my three day weekend, I'll come back refreshed and ready to be a full time blogger again. Maybe I'll even find the inspiration to do part 8 of Making The Blog. Yeah, maybe not. Anyway, I hope everyone has a good weekend. I'm sure I'll be checking your pages out sometime this weekend. One!

Drink, Drank, Drunk

I don't know if I mentioned this on the blog, but for the last few months I have not been able to get drunk. No matter how much I drank, I could never make it past tipsy. If I kept drinking, then I would be tipsy and sick, but no drunkenness. Well tonight, Mission Accomplished. Yeah, your boy got good and drunk for a minute. I might be a little inebriated right now as I type this, but that's half the fun. I'll read this in the morning and be like "wow, I can't believe I typed this." LOL

Desy I fully aware that I'm biting off that idea that you told me, but you know what... too bad. LOL I'm gone off some Jack Daniels shots and a few Hennessys. You know how I know I was drunk? I actually picked up the tab for the people I was with. Yeah, I was feeling mad generous. Maybe because it was payday, but more likely because my mind wasn't right off the alcohol. I hung out with my little play sister Kristie and a couple of her co workers. One was a dude, lets forget about him, and the other was this hot chick named...shit, I can't remember her name. Oh, it was Karen, I think. I should probably come up with a blog nickname for her, but like I said, I'm still a little tipsy. She was cool as hell. She was my color with some long hair and sexy lips. You know I got a thing for lips. I couldn't tell exactly what her nationality was.. I know she was black and something, but I thought it might be rude to ask. LOL They were already drinking when I got there, since I didn't get off work until 10. When I got there, I hugged my friend and got introduced to the co workers. The guy was a Haitian, and for some reason he was speaking French. After my second shot, I joined in and started speaking French to the hot girl. She was impressed... she was drunk as hell, but impressed. We had some inappropriate for the first time meeting each other conversations and before long we were acting like old friends.

Ohhhh, before I forget, she was doing some crazy stuff. Like she decided to break out into a belly dance. It was a little stimulating. And she was fondling herself all night. She was in love with her own breasts because "she didn't get any until she graduated from college." It was crazy. The more I drank, the more attractive she became. I wonder what she actually looks like. LOL I seem to recall leaving a big ass tip for the bartender too. Man, when I sober up, I'm gonna be mad at the money I spent. Did I mention we were at Dave and Busters, which I am extremely tired of, but served the purpose for tonight. Yeah, I got twisted. What was I saying... Oh yeah, so after we got done drinking we went to the back to play some games. Me and Karen, (I have no idea how its spelled) did a couple of racing games that illustrated that she was in no shape to drive home. I wasn't that much better since I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours, but I was better. We also played drunken basketball and drunken air hockey. Not just me and Karen, but all four of us. It served the desired purpose of sobering us up enough so that we wouldn't get a DUI.

I don't remember how it happened but for some reason in the parking lot, we (me and Karen) started wrestling. I think I had said something smart to her, but I can't recall what it was. Anyway, so we were wrestling in the parking lot when the police was like "move along" so we did. I walked her to her car while the Haitian walked Kristie to the car. We talked for a minute, and then she rode out. I forgot to get her number, but I'm sure I'll see her again if I'm not being anti social.

So, I went out and got a little drunk. Good times. I'm sure when I look back at this post I'll have the WTF look on my face, but for now, I feel good. Almost good enough to go out again tomorrow. We'll see what happens. I'm gonna sign on to Yahoo Messenger now and have some crazy conversation until I fall out. One!

Jill and Raheem Friday, Old School Saturday???

Its almost the weekend. I'm so used to Thursday being the end of my work week, but since I got that new job and have to work M-F now, I'll have to postpone my elation at not working. I should have a pretty full weekend, if everything pans out the way its supposed to. Who am I kidding? It's not gonna happen...

Friday, I work a half day and then I'm going to see Jill Scott. You remember I bought the tickets damn near 2 months ago, and the day is finally here. I should be more excited than I am, but I can't seem to muster that emotion. Probably because I know that something is gonna piss me off before I get there. Be it the rain (and really can we stop talking about being in a drought when it does nothing but rain since the New Year) or the traffic (When I get off work, its gonna be smack dab in the middle of rush hour) or the parking situation (the concert is downtown at The Fabulous Fox, which is a cool ass venue. I saw Prince there waaaaaaayy back in 93. Anyway the point, besides using unnecessary parentheses is that I don't know where to park downtown, and I always get lost). I know that once I get in, all that is gonna go away, but I'm still tempering my excitement until that time. I wish I could bring my camera, but they made a very big deal about mentioning no pictures on the tickets themselves and I'm not trying to have some security guard take my joint. I can't let that happen; how else am I gonna take crazy pictures of myself all the time. Opening act is Raheem Devaughn, who I'm pretty impressed with. I dig both of his albums and his version of "Prototype" has been in heavy rotation for about 2 years now. I could make a list of all the Jill Scott songs I hope she sings, but I really need to hear this one. I always liked it, but I gained an even greater appreciation of it when PYT (the artist formerly known as Youngster) sang it to me. Anyway, expect some raspy voiced Utterz from the concert, cuz you know I always think about my blog fam...

Saturday, I'm supposed to hang out with some of the co workers at the Old School Saturday joint. I can pretty much tell you right now, that I wont be going. I hate that its only one Saturday a month, and always seems to fall at a time that I don't feel like going. It's like the other weekends, it would be all good, but the actual weekend, I'm either doing something else, or in one of my withdrawn moods. How can I tell that I'll be in that mood on Saturday, you ask? I just know. It might have to do with the cold and rainy forecast which is not exactly conducive for drunken good times, or it might be because I am already going out on Friday. Regardless, if I show, it'll be a miracle. I didnt exchange phone numbers with the co worker, so it'll just be a hit or miss thing. I hope they are not waiting on me.

On another note, I am completely addicted to Utterz. Anybody who hasn't already signed up should do so expeditiously. I want to hear what you guys sound like. I don't know if its one step away from a phone convo, as someone told me, but its pretty darn cool. Don't make me beg. Soon as I finish typing this, I'll probably go record another one (not 10 minutes though). If you do it, let me know, so I can stalk follow your Utterz. On that note, I'm gonna call it a night. I hope everyone has a Happy Friday and weekend. One!

Mini-Me

Spell check still ain't working and I'm way too lazy to proof read. I'm not getting paid for this, ya know? LOL

What's happening, people? I took a couple of days off from my computer so now I'm just getting back to the blogging grind. Don't curse me out, I'm not blog breaking, it was just for a weekend. And what a jam-packed weekend it was. There was Su.per Bo.wl, in which the Gi.ants represented and sent those damn cocky Pat.riots to defeat. There was the time I spent with my little 3 month old nephew this weekend, the marathon phone conversations I had and wait... there was something else I was supposed to tell you about. Oh well, I can't remember what it is...

I'm playing. Of course I have to tell you about the blind date. Saturday evening I made good on my bet and hung out with the blind date, who shall henceforth be known as Mini-Me. No, she's not a midget, we all know I am afraid of them, but as the story proceeds you'll understand why I've attached that moniker to her. I did take all of your advice under advisement, and after speaking with her, I decided that we would go to L.oca Lu.na (it looks a little different than the website since they just changed locations). It's the sister lounge of the spot I go to with my friends all the time. That way if she likes the place, but does not like me, I won't have to worry about seeing her in my spot. See, I be thinking. Our plans were to meet at 9:00. I still wasn't sure if I would recognize her, because of the faraway picture, but once I got there I realized it should be too much of a problem. There weren't too many Black faces in the crowd, lots of Latins and Asians, with the requisite White faces too. Given my propensity for getting lost, I allowed enough time to arrive early, even in the case of a few inevitable wrong turns. I got there at 8:35.

I chilled at the front for a few, when Mini Me (her real name is the same as my favorite deceased R&B songstress) called and said she had arrived. I met her by the door and we exchanged pleasantries. We still had some time before our table was ready, so we made our way to the bar. I ordered a traditional caipirinha while she had a mojito. It was her first one ever, and she was very impressed with it. It was good to know that she wasn't a teetotaler. (I put that word in there just for you. LOL) I seem to always get hooked up with women who don't drink and don't want me to drink either.

We held an awkward conversation for a few minutes. I guess we were both trying to figure each other out. It got better as we sat down at our table and ordered some tapas. We conversed about a myriad of topics. I noticed that she seemed to be agreeing with everything I was saying. Here a few examples of things we had in common: She loves to laugh - which is perfect when you are around me. I like just about nothing more than laughter. Her favorite TV show is "Lost" - That's in my top 2. She loves old school hip hop music - you know that's me. She likes to stay home most of the time - yeah, me too. Favorite movie - Fight Club (although she also likes The Color Purple which I have yet to complete) - I love that movie too. She is a writer like me, she went to an HBCU like me, I could go on and on since as we further engaged in conversation, there were a lot more similar interests that came up. It was almost like I was out on a date with myself. Thus her nickname: Mini-Me. I'm older and bigger, so she gets to be the Mini, while I am the original.

One of things that most impressed me about Mini-Me was that she seemed to have her priorities in order. We talked about her son and how she doesn't let anyone meet him unless they are serious. She's involved in his education, and has a good relationship with his father. The kid is with his father every other weekend, and that's the only time she will go out. So much for inviting her to the Jill Scott concert (its on the wrong weekend.) I can respect that especially after dating some other women, who see their kids less than the grandparents and will do anything to get away from them.

We had a few more drinks and some eats, listened to the latin band that was playing (I had no idea what they were saying, but they were good) and then it was time to call it a night. Only, it was still kind of early. We decided to talk and get to know each other more at a bookstore close to where she lives that was open late. I followed her to the spot which was in my old hood, before I moved to the eastside. We passed the time, chatting and browsing through books, cracking jokes about the horrible hood fiction, perusing the photography books (one of her hobbies... kinda me too. Except, I only take pictures of myself. LOL). We ended the night with a hug (nothing too provocative, but not quite a church hug), and a tentative plan to get together in two weeks. It was a pretty good date. Sorry, no drama to speak of. I'm not in love at first sight, but I'm also not running away. We'll see what happens.

At this point, you are probably waiting for one of my overly drawn out descriptions of her physical appearance. You know the ones, where I reveal my inner stalker by noticing way too much about a person? I'm not gonna do that tonight. I'm a little tired right now, so maybe I'll do that one later. Suffice it to say, that she was attractive and all my worrying about the vague picture were all for naught. I had a good time, inspite of my initial apprehension. I'll be sure to tell you about date #2, if and when it happens. Happy Monday, Everybody!!!

P.S. - GO GIAN.TS!! I'll not like them again, next year, but I appreciate them getting that victory! That was one of the most exciting Sup.er Bow.ls in recent memory. I just about lost my voice screaming at the TV. How about I went to a Su.per Bo.wl party that ended up being just me and the maybe-weds? How is that consid.ered a party? It was all good, but really, I'm a need them to invite more people next time, or perhaps I'll host the next one. Wait, that would require people knowing where I live. Scratch that. Next year, I'm going to Scores!

Dikembe Mutombo

I apologize for the tardiness of this post. I've been feeling extra lazy today. It probably had to do with the snow coming down again. Twice in two weeks? That has got to be some kind of record. But you didn't come to read about that, you want to know what happened last night with "Not a date" girl.

Well, I hate to say it, but I was right. It did turn out to be a set up of sorts. It started out when I was on my way to the spot. I was almost there when she called me to say that she had to go home and cause she forgot her credit card and could I just meet her there instead.

*Block attempt* *Waving finger saying "get that weak shit outta here*

Yeah, I had to Dikembe Mutumbo that one. "It's your birthday, I got you. You don't need your card." I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I couldn't buy her 3 or 4 drinks on her birthday. That was not a problem.

So, I got there and we just so happened to pull up at the same time. I noticed she was solo. I guess her imaginary friends were gonna come later. I was almost proud of my own powers of deduction then I realized "damn, this is really just gonna be me and her." I mean I suspected going into it, but when I didn't see anybody else, I just knew. She told me that they were on their way, and that we could just get a quick drink before they showed up. Okay, not a problem. I am a fan of the alcohol. About 30 minutes later she "allegedly" got a call saying that they couldn't make it.

I say allegedly, because if your closest friends stood you up on your birthday, wouldn't you be upset? She acted like it didn't bother her at all, even with me instigating the issue. You won't believe the unimaginative excuse either: it was too cold. C'mon, it was like 45 degrees last night, no rain, no snow, no nothing. If this was true, then she really needs some new friends.

Anyway, on her 2nd (my 4th) drink, she had to go the restroom. She made a comment like "I better finish my drink before I go. I don't want you putting a roofie in it and taking advantage of me." In my loosened state, I actually said what I was thinking and replied "You aren't the one that needs to worry about that. If anyone needs to worry about that, its me." Oops, I did it again. I let the arrogant Rashan out. You would think that would cause problems, but it only made it worse. I guess they are telling the truth, when they say women like confidence.

As the night went on, she was sitting closer and closer to me. By the end, she was damn near on my lap. Rubbing my head and trying to rub my...

*Get that weak shit outta here*

That's all I'm gonna say about that. She said it was an accident, but I don't think so. It was accident all four times? I wound up drinking more than I planned and I actually did have fun. But yep, it was a set up. At the end, as I was going home, she asked me to follow her home to make sure she was safe. Raise you hands if you can see through that one. I did even after 2 gin and tonics, 2 shots of patron, a grand marnier and and amaretto on the rocks. Yeah, I know that I probably should have drank less, but I was still on my toes. I'm good. I told her that if she was that drunk, then we should call her a cab. She just sat there looking disappointed. If it sounds like I'm leaving stuff out, its just because I need to hit the streets before the ice takes hold. I'll holla back later.

Rashan's Holiday Drunktacular

Friday I went out. I had like 3 or 4 different posts in mind about it, but since its the holiday and nobody's reading anyway, I'll just condense them into one long rambling post. If you notice the tone is different in different parts of the post, its because I wrote them all separately and don't feel like editing. LOL Okay, enough of an explanation... May I present to you... Rashan's Holiday DrunkTacular.



Original Title: The Break-Up



I'm supposed to meet my homegirl for drinks at our usual spot. But she wants to meet at 4:30 for happy hour. Well, that's all fine and good, but I didn't wake up until 2:30 and I wasn't quite ready to begin drinking that soon. I texted her and told her to push it back an hour, which was still during happy hour, but gave me a little more time to wake up and get ready. The bar is on the other side of town, which without traffic would take me 15 minutes, but during Friday rush hour traffic took me a good hour and 15 minutes. I wasn't ready when I left the house, but after sitting in the traffic I was ready for a drink or 3. By the time I got there, my homegirl was already on her third drink and feeling nice. I had a Crown and coke to start off as we caught up with each other.



Several drinks and a couple of bar appetizers later, we got the bill. I need to digress a minute. The reason we go to this spot was it was close to my old job and the bartender always gives us a hookup. We take care of her and she takes care of us. We have never paid full price for anything we ordered there. So imagine our surprise when the bill comes and it has every damn drink that we ordered on it. It just wasn't right. And to make it worse, our favorite bartender who always takes care of us, didn't even give us a heads up. Anyway, we paid it, but if its gonna be like that, I'm gonna have to find a new spot. I don't feel like driving across town for full price. Besides, the same people are in there all the time anyway. I need to break up with Dave and Busters.



Here is where I wrote a break up letter with the bar. It was silly, so I'll go ahead and move on to the next part.



Original Title: Where The Grown And Sexy Go To Get It On And Popping, Off The Damn Chain And Make It Do What It Do...



Since we had started drinking early, the night was still very young. I reluctantly agreed to go to Taboo 2. I don't do regular clubs for a couple of reasons. #1. I don't dance, so there's really no purpose in my being there. #2. I just don't like the whole atmosphere of the club. It seems like everybody is scheming on each other. #3. My musical tastes are different. I'm pretty sure that with the exception of an old school hip hop set, I'm not gonna hear what I want to hear. Regardless, I decided to stop being a stick in the mud and check it out. It was interesting to say the least.



The Friday night party was called "The Afterwork Attitude Adjustment." That was enough to almost make me abandon the club. It was sponsored by one of Atlanta's "grown folks" radio stations and while I do like the music they play, I find the DJ's to be annoyingly corny. But whatever, I went in and the club was nice, I guess. I don't really have too much to base that on, since its been years since I've been to one that doesn't feature strippers. LOL. It seemed to be like the clubs I remember from the old days. Overpriced drinks ($10 for a shot of Patron???), Men wearing dark sunglasses in the club (I'll never understand this as long as I live. That does NOT make you look cool.) Women of all kinds with fresh hairstyles and new outfits (It was a nice variety of eye candy there.) But one thing was a little different than I remember.



Being that this was a grown and sexy party, the people there were a little older than I would have thought. Don't get me wrong there were some 20's and 30's there, but there also were some 40's and 50's. You should have seen them all, regardless of age, run to the dance floor when "The Cupid Shuffle" came on. I just don't get the appeal of that. There was a 5 song set of songs when the artist tells you what to do. I hadn't heard of some of them. But apparently, negroes like to be told which way to go when they are dancing.



Actual Text Message To My Sister:

HELP!!! I'm caught up in a Cupid Shuffle!

Her Response:

I think the help is to the right, to the right, to the right...



Here I talked more about the club, but its a little redundant so I'll move to the next part...



Original Title: Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?!?



I learned something tonight. I can dance. I don't mean that I can dance well, but I can move enough to get by. Why didn't anyone tell me that all I had to do was just stand there and move a little? How come nobody told me that the woman does all the work? How did I not know that dancing is nothing but a girl rubbing her booty on me? I can learn to like this.



Yeah, I got roped into dancing. I took a few overpriced drinks, but I was finally feeling free enough to give it a try. It started with "light pink lipstick girl" (I have no idea what her name was.) But we were talking at the bar and she wanted to dance, so I did. Later during a slow jam set, I got on the floor again. This time with "Smells like cinnamon" girl. I figured that even I couldn't look silly dancing to a slow song. Later, during a Michael Jackson set, I got asked to dance by "middle aged, dresses too young for her age" woman. I couldn't say no, could I?



Don't get it confused. I won't be going out to just for the sole purposes of dancing, but get enough drinks in me, and I might be able to get out on the floor.



Cutting it short again, since I combined 3 posts in one



Okay that's enough... As you can see my thoughts were all over the place. Bottom line is this, I went out and had some fun, even if most of my fun consists of laughing and talking about people. And as much as I was drinking, I really didn't get drunk at all. Anyway, have a good one, and I'll get at you later.

Jameil, You Win!

I can't keep posting I don't have anything left to talk about. I suppose I could make up some nothing post just to keep it going, but I won't do that. You are more prolific than I. I admit it, Now can I settle into a nice M-F blogging routine again?

Wait a minute! This counts as Sunday's post, so I'm still in the game. LOL

I'm playing, I'm not gonna do it like that. Let me tell you what I did this weekend.

Friday, I went to get some dranks (intentionally misspelled) at Dave and Busters. I had accidentally told Work Stalker where I was going, so I was on the lookout all night to see if she was gonna show up. Thank goodness, she didn't show up (unless she was watching me from the back). I had a couple of Tanqueray and Tonics (Thanks for the suggestion, Jam!) and a couple of shots too. We had strange conversations about strip clubs and oral sex amongst other things. It was cool. I had a good time. After that I was starving so we hit up Fridays for a little bite to eat and then I went home. I actually was sleep by 1 in the morning, which was cool, until I woke up at 7 in the morning.

Saturday, I already told you I was babysitting, but before that I got up with a friend I hadn't seen in a few months and we went to lunch. It was cool, but brief. She seems to be over my sarcasm though. LOL I intended to do some Christmas shopping but the crowds forced me into retreating back to my cave and doing online shopping. I just wasn't feeling the traffic or the people. It actually turned out better, since I found everything I was looking for on Amazon.com. I have one more gift to buy, and then I'm done!

Sunday, I'm here at work doing nothing. Sunday is my chill day at work, where I do nothing but blog and have work inappropriate conversations with my coworkers. Well, the first part of the day, I actually had to do some work since they had me training someone. I have a couple hours left to do nothing though, so I decided to keep the posting everyday thing intact.

Now, I'm off to join that conversation that I overhear right now about stalkers. I have a lot to add to that topic. LOL Be easy!

It's Still Saturday

I'm late, but I made it. I've been sleep all day. Yesterday messed up my sleeping pattern even worse than normal. Anyway, I've got to get ready to go out, but I'm just stopping by here to fulfill my everyday posting thing. I'm going to a party given by some friends of my mothers. It's somebody's birthday. I hope they still do it like they did when I was a kid. They used to have the liquor free flowing and I might need that to get through the evening. There's only so many times I can answer "no, I'm not married" in one evening without downing a shot of Henny. One of my "aunts" is gonna be there and my "cousin" and his wife should be there, so that should be cool. I haven't seen them in a couple of summers, since their wedding. Hopefully, there will be some people my age there, but if not I'll hide away with my sister and her kids. Wish me luck! I'll get some pictures if appropriate. One!

Babies, Burgers, Stalkers, Strippers, Dreams

Well, if you read the title, then you know what the post is all about. I wanted to post last Friday, so I could actually go a week straight writing in my blog, but some other stuff came up. Maybe this week, I can do it. Anyway, here is my weekend recap in true Rashan random fashion.

First of all, I'm an uncle again!!! My brother and his wife welcomed their child into the world early Friday morning. A healthy 8 lb 2 oz boy. He is too freakin cute. You know I love the kids right? He didn't open his eyes the whole time I was visiting in the hospital, but I got to hold him. Babies are amazing to me. They went home yesterday and mom and baby are doing fine. Got me thinking about my re-instituting my 90 day rule for knocking up the next woman I can put up with for 3 months. My male biological clock is ticking kinda loud right now.

I had the best burger I have ever had in my life on Saturday. Okay, maybe that's a hyperbole, but the mushroom and bleu cheese joint from Burger Joes in Decatur was ridiculous. I don't usually get excited over food, but I was just sitting there like DAMN!!! It was a good freakin' burger. Not sure why I wrote about this.

This is being my fourth time being an uncle, of course I had to go and celebrate the best way I know how: The strip club. LOL I'm kidding. I mean I did go to the strip club, but it was totally unrelated. I was bored Saturday, so I went to shoot some pool with the maybe-weds. I can't play to save my life, so I just watched and talked some shit about this and that. By 11, they were on their way home and I was not quite ready to call it a night, so I decided to hit up Pin Ups, home of the $5 dance. Here's a rhetorical question for you? Why do strippers insist on talking to me? Do I really have to hear your (often intoxicated) thoughts? Does it really matter if I'm married? Do you really have to tell me that I'm cute? I'm already paying you, save the flattery for the next man. Do I have really have to explain that the reason why I don't want you to dance for me (that horrid blond wig you are wearing)? Do I really look like an undercover cop? Okay, so that was more than one rhetorical question. I had a good time, but it really just reminded me that I'm not getting none in real life. LOL

I've become convinced that the more I'm mean to people, the more they are attracted. I don't know how to get rid of people. Even the whole honesty policy doesn't work. Whoever said that's the best policy never had to deal with a persistent suitor. When honesty didn't work, I decided to just be the biggest jerk in the world, something with which I have had practice. The one word answers, veiled insults and straight ignoring isn't working either. In fact it seems to make her want me more. In her words "you are a tough nut to crack, but I'm gonna do it." WTF? Short of pretending to be gay, I don't know how I'm gonna get rid of this one.

I've been having some really vivid and lucid dreams lately. I don't know what its about, but I actually look forward to sleeping. My R.E.M. stage has me going on some strange adventures. I can't remember them all, but in one of them I was dating Marion Jones after the steroids (except in my dream she was a disgraced swimmer instead of a disgraced track and field star.) In another one, me and Common were freedom fighters against a totalitarian government. We were being chased across the country and kept getting into adventures and free-styling along the way. In yet another, I was running from zombies who turned people into Republicans if they bit you. The zombie boss was Bill O Reilly. Shit is just weird, but I am actually looking forward to going to sleep to see what's next. I need to start writing in my dream blog again.

And that's about it. I hope everyone has a good start to your week. I'll get back with ya tomorrow. One!

Not Much Of A Post Today

Just a short post today. I couldn't find anything in my drafts that didn't need extensive editing and I don't feel like doing that...

The weekend is upon us again and this time I got stuff to do. I had to find alternate plans since PHD is going to be hanging out with her sorors at her undergrad homecoming this weekend. My old job is closing their office here in Atlanta and sending the jobs to Mexico or something, so I'm supposed to hang out with the old co workers as they celebrate unemployment. I told them I was coming early in the week, but then I looked at the Evite invitation list and there are some people coming I just don't want to see. Well, really just one, but I guess I'll suck it up and worse come to worst, I'll just get drunk and curse somebody out. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures of the drunken debauchery.

Saturday is going to be a family day. I mentioned in my Dear Autumn post about how I used to go apple picking every fall as a kid. Well, the next day my sister told me she was taking the kids to do that this weekend. So, I invited myself to hang out with them. The apple orchard is somewhere up in North Georgia and we'll be going in the morning provided that we get our procrastination in check. I don't have anything to do that night, but the Atlanta Football Classic is this weekend, and the city will be packed, so if I want to I'm sure I can find somewhere to go. More than likely, I'll just stay home and watch those DVD's (Knocked Up, Grindhouse, and Next) I got from Netflix. Sunday, I'm supposed to get up with PHD in the afternoon. Probably just go to lunch or something before I go to work, but I'm not sure yet.

And that's it. Not much of a post today, but it's the weekend, why should I have to do work? Have a great weekend, and I'll get at cha next week.