Random

What kind of sense does it make to comment on an news/sports article by saying “who cares?” – Obviously you care or you wouldn’t have taken the time not only to read it, but to comment on it.

Now that the American Idol dude has come out, does that mean that he is going to sing songs overtly to dudes? Will he change “Mandy” to “Andy?”

Would you listen to that? If not, does that make you homophobic?

That reminds me of an old school joke me and Kareem used to have about Luther Vandross. We changed the lyrics to “Don’t you remember you told me loved me, Larry?”

I read an article about a grandfather that killed his grandson b/c he dropped his watermelon. Do you know how glad I was that he wasn’t black? Feel like I dodged a bullet there.

Anonymous sources irk me. I think unless it’s a matter of life and death, if you say something, you should be man or woman enough to stand by it.

I think women that fake rape cases should have to register as sex offenders. They make it so much tougher for real victims.

Is anybody else disturbed that Hurricane Chris’ song “Halle Berry” is about a woman old enough to be his mother? I looked it up, she’s 43 and he’s 19.

I got bored the other day and shaved my head. Apparently I missed a few spots and was looking crazy for a day.

My job blocked Yahoo email yesterday. I wonder how long before Facebook and Blogger get blocked. Hopefully, at least one of them will stay available.

I didn’t have anything to write about, so I just started writing random thoughts and now I have a post. Hopefully, certain people won’t be harassing me in my comments about its time to post again. LOL

My Left Thumb

...voted for Obama/Biden!!!

Thanks to all the early voting, the line was relatively short. I got there at 9 on the dot. Cast my ballot at 9:49, got some breakfast and now I'm done!!! I still have about an hour before I have to leave for work! Best believe I'm rocking my "I'm A Georgia Voter" sticker.

Random Observations:

I live in a culturally diverse area of DeKalb County. There are black areas, white areas, mixed areas and countless immigrant areas. When I voted in the primary, there were all different races represented. Today, however, it was pretty much 90% black voters at the polls. I counted 7 white people and 4 of them came in together.

I voted in an elementary school. Kids are so cute with their "Just Say No To Drugs" propaganda. There were all kinds of anti drug pictures on the doors of the classrooms. Poor, naive souls. LOL

Saw a sign on the walls that alarmed me. The theme of the month for the school was "Be A Citizen." One of the questions was "How many strips are on the flag?" Do you mean stripes? Also, it said "How many stars are their on the flag?" Do you mean there? It woulda been one thing if this was a student thing, but it was actually typed and printed. What's going on with the schools?

Somebody behind me smelled like an entire ounce of weed. I'm just saying, take a bath before you come to the polls and stand in line with hundreds of other people please.

Is there an unwritten rule that in order to be a poll worker, you have to wear a bad wig? Maybe just in my precinct.

On one of the classrooms, they had a poll of who the students would vote for. Obama 17, McCain - 0.

I got a parking space right in the front of the school. I started to park around the corner like everybody else, but something told me to take a chance. I was rewarded.

Had my camera but couldn't use it. Wish I coulda documented this experience.

The touch screen voting is really easy. I would recommend that all states use this.

It sure felt good seeing all these black people voting. I have the urge to call my grandma and have her tell me about the old days.

I don't do the smiling thing... but I had an involuntary smile come on my face as entered the voting booth. I know I musta looked-ed silly, but I didn't care. I BARACKED THE VOTE!!!!

Sleepy Time

I'm back in town after 5 days in Gainesville with Jameil. It's been 3 months as of the 18th. Wow, who da thunk I could actually make it that long? LOL. Anyway, I've officially burned through all my sick time at work for the rest of the year, but it was totally worth it. I had a great time and I have vacation days in November and December, so I'll be all right. The only problem is the same problem I have every time I get back from out of town. I can't get to sleep.

Knowing I have to get up for work in about 5 hours, you would think that I should be sleep, but it doesn't seem to work that way for me. First, I had to take all my stuff out the car. I brought one of my TVs with me this time so Jam could watch 8 hours of Project Runway. Then I had to check my email. Read some blogs that I hadn't read for the last 5 days. Catch up on the sports highlights. Procrastinate a whole bunch.. and I'm still not sleepy. I guess I'm just wired from the 5 hour ride (which I completed in a little more than 4 hours this time. It's amazing how much time I can waste wandering around gas stations.) Anyway, the point is that I should be sleeping now. Its not that big of a deal. I only have to work Tuesday, Thursday and Friday this week. I guess I can catch up on sleep on Wednesday (which I have off because I was supposed to work on Saturday, before my *cough cough* sick time. Let's see what else is going on with me...

I came up with my preliminary plan to bring R Jizzy back to the blog world. I hope it works out. I'm gonna start that in November. The plan is to post every day next month. I did that last year and that's how me and Jam got cool. Speaking of Jam.. she's coming to Atlanta in a couple of weeks as Joy already knows from the text messages Jam sent from my phone. I promise none of those messages came from me, Joy! Any inappropriate comments were all her. My mom is having elbow surgery tomorrow, so think happy thoughts for her. She's funny. She called me tonight and told me to tell "my friend" she said hi. LOL. I'll be 34 in 34 days, so get your money together to buy me stuff. Okay, let me stop putting all my random thoughts in this one post and force myself to get some sleep. I'll be around your neck of the blog woods later today. Peace!!!

Rainy Day Reflections

It hasn’t rained in Atlanta since September 12th. No I didn’t count the days. I read that on yahoo or something.

The first 2 songs that played on my iPod today: "It Never Rains in Southern California" by Tony!Toni!Tone! and “Rainy Dayz” by Raekwon. Spooky, my iPod has psychic abilities. Darn artificial intelligence!!! It’s gonna kill us all!!!

Speaking of rain songs… I need to download Guns N Rose’s “November Rain.” That song rocked!

Why come women that wear wigs are afraid to let the rain touch them?

If you are a man and you have an umbrella that is any other color than black, brown or blue, you are suspect to me.

If you are a man and you have a rainbow colored umbrella, you are ghey!

Why are people scared of thunder? Lightning I could understand, but thunder is just sound.

When I was a kid living in NY, whenever it rained there would be hundreds of earthworms all over the sidewalks. Have you ever cut one in half and see both halves still moving? Me either, that’s like serial killer stuff. *plays it off by whistling*

Here’s what I want to happen. Next time there’s a loud thunder clap, I want nobody to say, Can we go home? You aren’t going home. The computers will not go out. The lights may go out for .72 seconds. We have generators. The phones will still work. The cables are underground. You aren’t going home so stop asking. Thanks in advance.

Is it weird that I spent my lunch standing outside in the rain? Yes, I had an umbrella. It was just soothing. I do that sometimes.

What is it about rain that makes it more conducive to sleep than say a blizzard? Or 100 degree heat. Everybody says that rain is sleepy weather, but not so much for me. Then again, nothing is sleepy weather for me.

Guess what? It’s just water. It’ll dry. So what my shirt is peppered with rain drops. I’m not soaked, I’m not drenched, its’ gonna be okay.

I really should do something about the water that leaks into my car. But what? A sealant or something? It trickles in right at the front windshield.

I really wish Make it Rain never made it out the clubs. I don’t need to hear the phrase being used at inopportune times. Like at work for instance. Someone sells something and they talk about making it rain… No, that’s not what that means. Stop it. Sincerely yours, A former strip club connoisseur.

Remember Acid Rain? Back in the 80’s that was supposed to be the big thing that was gonna kill us all, but I haven’t heard anything about it lately.

You see how I did an entire post about rain? I really need some blog inspiration. I’m stretching for stuff to write about. LOL

Au Hasard

I figured if I said it in French, it would be more palatable than the english translation... but it's not. This is just another random post.

Will someone please stop giving Nicolas Cage movie scripts? He hasn't been in anything good in the last ten years. (I haven't seen National Treasure, so I might be overlooking that one) Plus the whole quirky, weird guy act wore thin years ago. He be making some bad movies.

ATLANTA FALCONS!!! First place, baby!!! I figured I better type that before they go on a 7 game losing streak. Might be my only chance to gloat this year!!!

Five hours and 14 minutes. That's how long it takes to get to Gainesville. I've done it 3 times already and possibly will be doing it again next weekend. I don't speed, but around the 4 hour mark, I have to watch the speedometer to make sure I'm not getting a lead foot.

Uncomfortable Interaction of the Weekend: In a gas station just across the Georgia side of the GA/FL border on I 75. Random Trucker: I have to ask you something. Me: (Blank look.) Random Trucker: Are you wearing shoulder pads or are those your real shoulders? Me: Huh? Random Trucker: It's just your shoulders are so broad. You look very formidable. Like you should be playing professional football. Me: Umm..Okay. (praying that this methed out cashier hurries up and takes my money). Random Trucker: You look really powerful. Me: Thanks, I guess.

I know Freedom of Speech is guaranteed by the Constitution, but the founding fathers obviously never knew about talk radio. I'm just saying, there's no way that some of these people should be allowed to express an opinion on anything, much less the Presidential election.

Speaking of which, I usually can just ignore rhetoric from the other politcal party. I usually can respect that they actually beleive what they are saying. Palin is testing that outlook. I just want to put her on Maury so she can do one of those lie detector joints. When you said that you have more experience that Obama, the lie detector determined that was a lie!!! Then maybe she can run crying off the stage like they do on those "I had sex with 39 people, which one is the baby daddy?" shows. For real, I usually don't get worked up about politics, but this one is getting me.

I need a cover story about how me and Jameil met. People at work were asking me and I didn't want to tell them, oh we both blog. Cuz then they would probably ask me one of two questions: 1. "What's a blog?" which I don't feel like explaining or 2.) "Can I read your blog?" To which the answer would be a resounding "Nah, shawty! I be talking bout you on there. "

Can someone explain the need to continue the economic embargo against Cuba? Are we scared that communism is gonna spread to America from that tiny nation? And don't give me that human rights stuff, cuz we trade with China amongst other alleged human rights violaters. It seems to me that the only ones hurting from this policy are the Cuban citizens, not the leaders.

Can I just say how strange it is to hear "Never Woulda Made It" on the radio right after "Please Excuse My Hands." Some radio director needs to learn a thing or three about transitions.

Text Message I recieved earlier this week: "Hey U. Just wanted 2 say hello. hope all is well." Area code 732... I have no idea who this is. If its any of you out there, text me back and put your name on it. That's Jersey, I think. And before you ask why I don't just reply back asking who it is... that could be a stalker.. or a former stalker trying to reopen the lines of communication. Best to ignore it. LOL

Whenever there's a hurricane threatening Savannah, my grandmother prays it off. A major hurricane hasn't hit Savannah since my grandma's been living there. Whether you beleive it is up to you.. but my question is... If you pray a hurricane away from you and it hits another area of the country, does that make you responsible for the damage?

Least favorite blog comment: "Cool blog, I'll be back.." This hasn't happened to me, but I've seen it on other peoples blogs. I'm like did you even read the post? Or do you just wan't people to read yours. Speaking of which.. I've been slacking on my reading the last week. If you came by and I haven't come visited you, then get over it...Oops, I meant, I'll try to get round there soon. LOL

I have another crazy blog idea. I hope I have time to finish it at work tomorrow. You know how I get when the sarcasm is on full blast. It could be fun...

I should be sleeping instead of writing these completely random thoughts, so I think I'll go do that now. Have a good one!

Do You?

Do you think God cares who wins the Super Bowl? Does he let the team with the least heathens come out victorious?

Do you not realize that my last post was out of this world brilliant? Why only 11 comments in 2 days?

Do you think that "Do you" is one of the most overused phrases now a days?

Do you ever have moments when life is beating you up, then you go to church and get inspired and then everything is alright?

Do you ever have moments when life is beating you up, then you go to church and get inspired and then everything is alright, and then you forget those blessings and wind up back in the same place?

Do you worry about gas prices or do you just get the gas cuz you know you need it anyway?

Do you allow other people to change your mind for you even after you made it up?

Do you know that African chicks dig me for some reason?

Do you cringe when you hear people talking ignorantly. For example, if someone continuously says up most, instead of utmost do you say anything or just let it ride.

Do you think its weird that I only eat once, maybe twice a day?

Do you got $5 i can hold?

Do you realize I have to wake up at 8, so I'm gonna stop writing random "do you" questions now and go to sleep?

I'll Sleep When You're Dead

I'm just typing out thoughts. Totally random. I was told that if you look up random in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me. Hopefully, I'm giving the "bathe her and bring her to me" (face #2) look. LOL


Nights like this I wonder what's wrong with me. I mean, I'm used to staying up late. But then we have nights like this when I just don't fall asleep at all. Want to, but I can't bring myself to do so. I stayed up til..well I'm still up at 9:00 in the morning. I was keeping Jameil company at work, but she left me like 3 hours ago. You would think I would take this opportunity to catch up on the sleep I've been missing all week, but nope. I'm up...for no reason.

I just been downloading music all night. Dont tell the industry people, but so far I've gotten 14 entire albums this morning. Don't know when I'm gonna listen to all these, but I got them. I've listened to a few so far. Pretty sure my neighbors hate me for bumping the N.E.R.D all loud at 0 dark thirty, but you know what?: it is what is. I can't sleep, so why should they? I'm kidding, sorta. For the most part the volume was at a manageable decible, but I may have cranked up Sooner or Later and geeked out at the guitar at the end 6-7 times around 4 AM. But other than that, I've been respectful. I probably could have blogged, or read a bo... LOL I can't even finish that. I don't read. I know that is not something that most intelligent people say, but I don't. Hell, I barely read your blogs. I just be skimming til I find something that I can comment on. I'm kidding again, but you all know there are bloggers that do that mess. I need them to cut that out. Them cats that got like 196 bloggers on their blog rolls? You know they are NOT really reading your posts, right? First of all, I don't care how unemployed you are, who has time to follow that many people? And then look at their comments. You talking about apples, they commenting about papayas or something. Is it so important to be popular that you have to post nonsensical comments on everybody's blog and add them all to your blog roll?

I guess its not for me, because I've never been the popular type. I mean at work and for awhile on blogger, I was that popular dude, but for the most part, popularity escapes me. I don't have the tolerance to be dealing with that many people. Especially when popularity depends on being nice to people. Yeah, I'm not a nice person. I mean, I am nice sometimes, but I'm also a big jerk!!! You should hear some of the stuff that I say or read some of the emails I sent to Jameil tonight. It's just ridiculous sometimes how much I make fun of people. But it's fun and I can make fun of myself too, so hopefully God gives me a pass on Judgement Day. I can see it now "Come on, Lord and Savior, you know that stuff was funny. Let me in!!! Quit Playing, Jehovah! You made me this way!!!"

Okay, so maybe I'm not tired, but my brain is. I start talking and thinking crazy when I'm sleepy. I'm pretty sure I was hallucinating the other night while I was fighting sleep. I had a myriad of strange images pop up in front of my face. I can't remember them all, but it involved Nelson Mandela, an afro and a purple leather jacket like Eddie Murphy wore in Raw. Yeah, it doesnt make sense to me either. Lucky for me, I embrace being strange, cuz sometimes I am. I can already tell I'm gonna reread this after a few hours of sleep and not remember half the stuff I wrote. Its almost like being drunk, but I didn't partake at all. Still got that bottle of Patron though. Maybe I'll get on that tonight.

Wanna know one of my pet peeves? People that say I don't tell them anything and then when I try, they start talking. I had a conversation that went something like this at work.

Me: Guess what? I'm dating someone.
Her: Really? You?
Me: Yeah, when I was outta town last week, I was meeting her.
Her: We are going out of town Labor Day.
Me: ....

That's all the time I get to talk? I get 2 lines? Don't ever, ever, ever complain about me not telling you stuff again in your life. This is the same friend that for some reason thinks I'm a pimp, despite the fact that I'm always 3rd wheel when we go out and have never brought any woman around. I love you like an annoying step-sister, but you don't really know me at all, do you? That just furthers my resolve to keep stuff to myself. Well, myself and my blog, cuz you know I can't stop talking on here. That would make for a pretty boring blog if I didn't write about anything remotely personal.

Wait... this rapper Chaundon just said. "We never got next, cuz we alway got now/forever connected like Al B's eyebrow. Sorry, that may not excite anybody else, but that was a hot line. I love hip hop. I love the beats and word play. I actually like a Nas album too. The last few joints I've had to talk myself into liking, but I heard his joint tonight and I really dig it. I still call it Nigger. I don't care if he changed the title. It's still Nigger to me. I wonder how many people are gonna google the word Nigger and find my blog. Hi, dirty racists! Welcome to Beats, Rhymes and Life. I hate y'all punk asses, dirty racist bastards. Now, kindly click the X at the top of the page and go back to planning the Republican convention and watching The O Re.illy Fa.ctor. Everybody say goodbye to the racists... "Bye Racists!!! I'll Holla!!!"

Okay, on that incredibly odd note, I know that I need to stop typing and lay my butt down somewhere. I'm looking forward to my requisite Saturday afternoon phone session, so I should probably try to get a few z's before that. I'll get at you all later. One!

Rashan Talks To Inanimate Objects

And now another episode of Rashan Talks To Inanimate Objects... presented with limited commercial interruptions by Charter Hospital...If you don't get help at Charter, please get help somewhere.


Word, job? You sure you wanna do this? I mean, I’m not complaining about the new relaxed dress code. This should help me get to work earlier. I sure don’t feel like ironing every morning. I don’t mind wearing jeans to work. And I wont be rocking sneakers or Timbs in accordance with your new dress code, but are you sure? You know where we live right? This is Atlanta . You can’t really give people an inch, cuz they will take a mile. Have you seen the way these ladies dress on casual days? Heck, even on regular days they push the envelope, but you are really gonna give them free reign? Don’t say I didn’t tell you so, when our building starts looking like Friday night at Esso. Wait, it already looks like that some days. When it starts looking like Roosters, then you gonna see I was right. But again.. Not a complaint. Just wanna make sure you know what you are doing.

Time, what are you doing? Why are you going so slowly? You gonna make these 3 weeks seem like 3 weeks? Can’t you just speed along like you do when I’m having fun instead of being torturous, maddening and mad long? Come on, do it for me!!!

Traffic, I’m a need you to not do what you are doing right now. I just wanted a 6 piece Chick Fil A nugget joint. Its 3 minutes to get there, 3 minutes to get back. Why am I sitting in you, stupid traffic! This ain’t even the highway. I’m gonna really spend ¾ of my lunch hour messing with you. Now you gonna just block my shortcut back to the office.? I’m bout to get out and walk. Wait a minute, I’m a liar. It’s 97 degrees out here. That’s another thing. You got me burning that AC which means gas which means money. Again, I just wanted some nuggets, yo! Give me my free, traffic. GIVE ME FREE!!!

Hey Patron Bottle. I'm sorry I left you in the trunk for 4 days. I hope you still taste good. I mean, you are unopened and wrapped up in a jacket, but I hope the extreme heat hasn't messed with you. You cost $46 so I'm gonna drink you no matter what, but I hope you still taste right. My bad, shawty!

Hey, poetry. Do me a favor and stop being all poetic. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. I ain't got time to be figuring out hidden meanings and symbolic phrases. By the way.. winter as a metaphor for death...its been done to winter, nah mean?

What's the deal, car? I never did give you a name. Didn't imagine you'd stick around as long as you have. I appreciate the longevity. You did good last week. We got 3 more trips to go in the foreseeable future, so just make sure you stay up. I'll do my part feeding you gas and oil, and making sure there's air in the tires. You in turn, don't come up with some obscure problem that I couldn't anticipate in a million years. You know how you and the rest of my cars have done. None of that this time, we got business to tend to.

Chalazion. Good looking out on finally going away. I was getting mad tired of that bump over my left eye. Although I could have done with out the oils seeping into my eye and making me feel like I was crying, I understand you did what you had to do. But for real. Remember a couple of years ago, when I told you not to come back. I even stopped wearing my contacts for 6 months at a time without cleaning or changing them. But you came back anyway. Jerk!!! Can you make this the last time please?

Sunglasses. I don't understand you. What makes you so cool? Why everybody wanna have some of you. Why people wear you at the club, especially the real dark ones? Why women have the real big ones that cover 1/2 their faces? Do you think you look good like that? I don't quite get it. Perhaps, I'm just hating cuz you don't look right on me, but I just don't get your appeal. Stupid shades!

Okay that's enough talking to things that can't talk back to me. I'm out!

Your Kisses Taste Like Amaretto

^^^^^That's what you would tell me if you were here with me and my lips right now.^^^^^

Jameil hates disclaimers, but here's one anyway...Let me just warn you that this post is gonna be extremely stream of consciousness, cuz I have nothing really to write about, but I wanted to post anyway.

I've had entirely too much amaretto today. Not because it has made me drunk, but just because I had too much without getting drunk. You may ask why am I drinking amaretto anyway? Well, it was the only thing containing liquor in the house other than the bottle of Hennessy that Senita left in the freezer last week and the hand sanitizer. But I was not feeling the Hen tonight, plus I had no chaser. I've had this particular bottle of Amaretto over 7 months. In fact, I remember when I bought it. It was New Years Day, and I was going to hang out with some friends. I bought this bottle and a bottle of Bacardi Select. The Select got kilt, but the amaretto remained untouched so i took it home with me. That was also the last time I've been to a liquor store. Wait, no I got some beer for a cookout a couple of months ago, but that doesn't count cuz I wasn't buying it for me. I mean, seriously, do I look like the type to drink Budweiser? I'm not that old...although I could be considered an elder statesman, especially in the blog world. It's like all you bloggers are 24-28, and me at 33 I seem mad old. Magnolia Peach (everybody go to her blog and harrass her about posting more. LOL) made me feel old the other day when she was writing about being in 4th grade in 1993. Yo, I was in college in 93! Sophomore year to boot. That was the time when I was hanging out with Tori in the student center every day after class and before work. That was when I was just coming into my own with the ladies. I got my first little taste of women appreciating me for my crazy, crazy brain. That was cool. Back then I used to wear Hilfiger, Fubu and Karl Kani. True story, I was in a store today and I saw all three of those designers clothes. I was dying laughing. I started to buy some just cuz I know how much you all love my 10 year old yellow hoodie. You know I live to entertain you guys. I just realized that if you haven't been reading very long, you may not know what I'm talking about, so I'll link that old post. You have to read the comments though. People roasted me for that hoodie for like months on end. Utter hilarity! Before I went off on that (those) tangent(s) I was talking about the song.

The Sweetest Thing by Lauryn Hill... If you didn't know that's where I got the title from then I don't wanna be your friend. LOL I'm just kidding. I'll still be your friend cuz apparently that's what I do. Someone told me that I don't know how to cut people off. I don't necessarily agree, but the way I cut people off is a little different. I'll take all I can take and then just stop answering the phone. It's mad abrupt and usually people don't even know what they did to make me stop messing with them. This is mostly on a friendship level. When it comes to a dating/relationship level, I usually make the woman break up with me. Like just do everything I can to make her mad enough to leave, short of cheating. I'm so not a cheater. I did it one time in my life and felt like a total heel. That was over 10 years ago, so the statute of limitations is up on that one. I'm officially not a cheater anymore. Speaking of Cheaters...where do they find these people to be on the show. I could never act an ass on TV like that. I ain't signing no release for nothing. If I ever was there, my face would be mad pixilated. Wait, what was I supposed to be talking about? Oh that's right, The Sweetest Thing.

Say, sweet thang. Can I buy you a fish sammich? Man, I love that movie. Can anybody name that movie without clicking the link? He also says.. Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burglar? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress. Hilarious!!! I don't buy DVDs but I would watch that one over and over again. (Hey, you asked me that question last night. Add this movie to that list.) I just tangentized again. Yeah, I made that word up. I often make up words. It's okay cuz I have an English degree and I'm being ironic. I'm a highly qualified word maker upper. Don't try this at home. If people don't know that you know that your made up word isn't real then they may just think you are stupid. Speaking of stupid people, Jesse Jackson. Uggh, for real Jesse? You just gonna go on Fox News and talk about cutting off another mans 'nads? I can't stand you, Jesse. Why were you on that channel anyway, bruh?

Anyway, let me get back to the original point of the post. The Sweetest Thing. I like that line about a kiss on a collarbone. I could totally do that to someone right now. That song was on the Love Jones soundtrack. I remember when I first saw that movie. I was with my college girlfriend and we were the only people in the theater that liked it. The Savannah hood figures were talking about how boring it was. Did I mention that I hate Savannah? That mentality is part of the reason. I also wrote a review for LoveJones for my college paper. I need to see if I can find that. It's probably in my sun room/storage area. I did find 3 notebooks of old rap lyrics. Some of them were written in pencil, so I can barely read them. The others were written in pen, but my handwriting looks like I had a stroke, then got hit by a car, then I tried to write during a train ride during an earthquake. You get it? I have horrible penmanship. I've told this story before I think, but I'm naturally left handed. My 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Bierman, decided that she wanted me to write with my right hand. I guess they didn't have any left hand desks at the time. Anyway, long story short. I never quite got the hang of neat penmanship with my right hand, and I no longer can write with my left hand. I do just about every thing else with my left hand, including holding the phone. I can't hold the phone to my right ear. It just feels wrong. Same thing with taking pictures of myself which I do daily now. Camera is always in my left hand. My left arm is exponentially stronger than my right arm. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a lame arm like dude from the Two Live Crew, but I can tell the difference. Dang it, I just strayed again..

What was I gonna say about "The Sweetest Thing?" Oh yeah, I like that song. The End!

Lemme Tell You What I'm NOT Gonna Do - Pt 2 of ???

Yeaaaahhh, Lemme tell you what I'm NOT gonna do... I did this one before, but I wanna do it again, so deal with it. LOL

Yo, I'm not gonna be your do boy and go to get you sodas and chips and chicken wings?!?!? Dog, who begs for chicken wings?

I'm not gonna hang out with you for awhile. I need my alone time, or my phone time, or my not being with you and your drama time. Sorry, if that puts a crimp in your plans.

I'm so not having secks with you. I don't care if you make it seem like a business proposal. You already call me enough, I'm not trying to increase that to too much.

I'm not gonna accept you as a MySpace friend so I can see your kids. Yeah, I don't care about your kids. I don't know them. I really don't know you anymore. It's been a good long time since I've seen you and even longer since I wanted to. What will it take for you to leave me alone? Ignoring isn't working. Being mean didn't work. You having kids didn't stop it. Telling you to leave me alone, didn't accomplish anything. For real, cut that mess out.

I'm not gonna argue with you over something I know is true. Yeah, I like to be right, but if you don't beleive it, its no skin off my nose. Believe what you will, yo!

I'm not gonna front like I am not mad excited for next week. Maybe I should, but I'm not gonna.

I'm not gonna forget Casablanca and Patron.

I'm not gonna stop being cryptic, even if I sound like La? For real, what was that post about? LOL

I'm not gonna respond the way you want me to. It's not in me. If I feel the slightest twinge of manipulation, I'm gonna switch it on you. Don't feel bad. It's happened before you, it will happen after you.

I'm not gonna be motivated by your wack emails. Say it with me...Rashan (Rashan) Doesn't Do (Doesn't Do) Inspiration (Inspiration).

I'm not gonna go to work next Wednesday!!!

I'm not gonna leave my car in the parking deck after dark anymore. It was raining yesterday, so I didn't move my car at lunch like I usually do. Why did I run smack dab into 2 silver foxes chillin' by the entrance. No rabies, please!

I'm not gonna be an active participant in your conversation. Guess what? I have a secret for you... Come Closer *whispering* I don't care!

I'm not gonna admit that I like that Lookin Boy song. I think I just did though.

I'm not gonna stop being weird so you should just get used to it. I got 33 years of practice. It's not gonna change.

What aren't you gonna do?

Ran-dumb

Cause I don't feel like writing anything else...

I shaved my moustache off accidentally yesterday. Was trying to shape it up but didn't have my glasses on. Depth perception all screwed up... I should post a picture.

Speaking of pictures, guess who finally figured out how to use his scanner? Me! Well, to be more accurate, my 12 year old nephew figured it out, but I'll reap the benefits. Old pictures for my throwback posts!

93 degrees is too hot. I'm just saying. I didn't stink, but there were too many people around me that were not so fresh. I wish I could say it was just men, but alas it wasn't.

I know it's wrong, but I find great humor in watching the spelling bee and watching those egghead kids spell something wrong and get devastated. It seems like one or two is gonna commit hari kari because they couldn't spell o-n-y-c-h-o-p-h-a-g-i-a (noun. def. nail biting.)

I can't spell a lick. When I forget to use spell check, my blog posts are riddled with spelling errors. Not getting paid for this, I sooo don't care.

You ever talk to somebody who constantly verbally abuses, physically threatens and insults you. And you like it? Me either. LOL

I'm thinking of colliding my 2 worlds together. When me and Kristie hang out, I usually don't bring other friends, but I might do that on Friday. She's bringing her crazy self fondling co worker amongst others. I might invite my people I hung out with on Friday. I'm kind of wary of that cuz I don't know how the 2 groups will interact.

There is no better non sexual feeling in the world than laying down in the shower and letting the hot water run over my head. I can't seem to wake up sufficiently without doing that. TMI? Who cares.

Is everyone gonna use the T Pain Roger Troutman voice thingy now a days? Kanye, I thought you were better than that. On 2 songs no less. Stop that and get back to real rhyming.

Nelly and Dwele both release albums on June 24th. Guess which one I'm gonna get. If you answered Nelly, then I need you to stop reading my blog immediately, find a chalk board and write 100 times: RASHAN DOES NOT LIKE WACK STUFF!!! (make sure there are 3 exclamation points.)

I'm not one for celebrity gossip, but I heard something the other day that messed with my head: Clay Aiken is having a kid? This dude gets to reproduce and I haven't? The world is messed up.

There are too many people from my last job working at the new one. It's like untrust the sequel. A couple of weeks ago, this girl got mad at me, because I didn't remember her. She really tried to get me to remember her, but it wasn't working. I still don't know who she is, but when I saw her yesterday, I made it a point to call her by her (alleged) name.

My nephew threw my phone the other day. I said to him quite sternly: "Carlin, pick the phone up right now!" Guess what his response was. "I can't Uncle Rah shan. I'm too tired." I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I couldn't help it. I need to work on the disciplinarian thing, but if you woulda heard it, you would have cracked up too.

I finally managed to write a post without self referential linkage. I mean, I didn't go back to my previous posts to illustrate my point for this post. Probably because this post has no point. It's just ran-dumb.

I Need A New Word For Random

I'm so tired of the word random but couldn't find any synonyms that spoke to me. Maybe next time. Anyway, before I get started with this post, I'm gonna go ahead and copy what all the other bloggers did last month and open up the floor to questions. Now that Jameil has done it, its officially cool enough for me to try.

You can ask me anything, whether or not I answer it is a total crap shoot, but I will do my best. There's really only one thing that's off limits, and if you been reading long enough to ask about it, then you already know what it is. If you haven't been reading that long, then don't worry about it. LOL. If I actually get some questions, I'll try to answer them by the end of the week. I also accept anonymous questions, but please do me a favor and put a name (I don't care if its a real name) in the box so I know what to call you.

Okay, on to my random thoughts...

The Last Dragon is an utterly horrible movie... I mean really, I can't believe how bad this movie is. But it did remind me of one thing. Vanity was a sexy so and so back in the day. I mean, I know she's old enough to be my mom, you know if moms was really fast and had me at 15, but Vanity was tres chaud (I think that means very hot in French, but I'm not sure). Perv Alert: I used to watch Action Jackson for her nude scenes when I was teenager. Overshare? So what, who cares!!!



If I meet one more cute, cool, interesting, interested in me woman that is 25 or younger, I'm gonna (insert empty threat here). The world is conspiring to make me be a dirty old man. I don't wanna be a dirty old man. Aren't there any cool 30 year olds out there or should I just resign myself to the fact that I'm destined to be a cradle robber?



You know that I'm a lifelong New York Knicks fan, and I can't say that I'm an Atlanta Hawks fan, but it was cool seeing the home team represent a little in the NBA playoffs. But for real? Getting blown out by 30 plus points in Game 7 is just not cool. You got heart, but only in home games? I don't get that.

I'm not saying he's wrong, I'm not saying he's right, but Rev Wright needs to shut up for the common good and think long term. That's my two cents. I'm not interested in debating it, just what I think. Also the conspiracy theorist in me kinda thinks that Hillary, or McCain... or some nefarious group is paying him to keep talking that mess. Again, not interested in debate.

Name that movie: "Bees! Bees! Bees in the car! Bees everywhere! God, they're huge! They're ripping my flesh off! Run away, your firearms are useless against them!" Someone remind me to blog about those bees in my old apartment one day.



It's pretty bad when some one that has known you for less than 2 weeks can pinpoint when you are about to be a jerk. That happened to me on Saturday. I was riding in the elevator with these 2 women that just started in my department a fortnight ago. One of them looked at me and said "What were you about to say smart?" I tried to play it off, but The Smirk betrayed me. It was all over my face. For the record, I was thinking "How lazy do you have to be to take an elevator instead of walking down one flight of stairs?" And before you get on me, I didn't tell her what I was thinking and I only was in the elevator because I was accompanying them.



One of the girls from the aforementioned elevator ride really confuses me. Her first day, she rocked a suit to work. Not like a women's business suit, but a men's church suit, complete with tie and hard bottom shoes. I assumed from that and her subsequent manly (but extremely fresh) outfits that she was from the island of Lesbos. Also, I'm pretty sure she was hitting on my friend when she came to my desk to chat. But this weekend, she was talking about guys. It doesn't really matter, but it just perplexes me on some Arsenio Hall "Things That Make You Say Hmm..." ish.



You all are sheep!!! Sheep, I say!!! Quit falling for that pandering and use your own thought process.



You know how I said I like quirky? Well, Erykah Badu has moved up the list of my celebrity crushes. She has been on the list for awhile, but I listened to her album in depth this weekend, and fell in love with the weirdness of her all over again. I still don't comprehend what she is saying half the time, but I like that. That makes me weird, doesn't it?

You really think she doesn't call me? Do you really believe that? Come on, I'm Rashan!!! How could she not call me? LMAO!!!

As anti social as I claim to be, I genuinely enjoy talking to people. I can talk for hours on the phone to people that I actually like. Anyone else wanna call me? My phone number is 678 592 (wait a minute. I probably shouldn't do that.) You want the last four, hit me up. LOL

Cute.. Likes Prince.. Likes Ghostface... Makes me laugh... Got them lips...Intelligent...Screeeeeechhhhh!!!! - Did you just say you got Pretty Ricky on your ringtone? I'm gonna have to think about this. LOL

I'm watching "Epitafios" on DVD right now. It's a tv show from Argentina about a serial killer that came on HBO a few years back. This joint is crazy, every thing I every wanted in a TV show about a serial killer. I sound hella weird right now, dont I? But I'm obsessed with the concept of serial killers. No, I'm not one..and I could never kill anyone, but its just interesting to me.

I bet you are gonna think about me when you are in your bed. LOL. Suuuure you didn't mean it like that. Whatever you say!

I really, really hate pot luck days. I swear all these cats do is eat. I just don't like eating everybody's food. It's nothing personal. I managed to avoid most people's food, but one person was just way too persistent. I honestly think she was gonna cry if I didn't try hers. 3 hours later, I felt sick. I'm not blaming her, but its her fault. Next time, I'm just gonna have to be an ass.

"I stay long winded.. like saying George Pappadopolis" - "Don't Rush Me" - Jean Grae I should stop writing now, this got way longer than I intended.

7 Things I Think

7 Things I Think

1. Everyday should be Jeans Day… or better yet, everyday should be summer dress day. Yesterday was…wow!
2. An 82 Tercel is NOT a classic car. I need you to take them historical plates of that bucket.
3. It is never acceptable to say “astin” instead of asking.
4. I shouldn’t eat pizza at 2 AM and then wonder why my lactose ntolerant self got the bgs today.
5. I’m hating on these inferior bloggers that got triple the number of comments I got. I shouldn’t care, but I do. Where’s the justice?
6. I’m ashamed of myself for liking that Lil Wayne “Lollipop” song. I need to hear that in the club just once.
7. I’m gonna miss my sister and her kids when they move to Savannah next month.

What do you think?

Rashan-isms

These are things I think. I don't expect you to agree.

I think... women who have long hair should not wear wigs. Stop being lazy and do your hair. Or cut it off. Or go natural. Those are all viable options. Just stop with the stocking caps and the tilted wigs. Do it for me, please?

I think... there should be a new word to describe the littlest finger. Pinkie just sounds so soft.

I think... that you should not have Creflo Dollar on your top 8 MySpace friends at the same time as having Plies as your profile music, while your profile picture features you laying suggestively in your bra and panties.

I think... that I need to learn how to find middle ground. I'm either on some "I don't love them hoes stuff" or some baby baby stuff. I can't seem to just find a happy medium.

I think... that there should be a way to block people from sending me text messages that are not addressed specifically to me. If I get another Happy V-Day text from someone I have not spoken to since I put their number in my phone, I'm gonna scream.

I think... if you buy your Valentine's Day gift from the gas station at 7 PM on the 14th, chances are you are not gonna have a sucessful night. True story, there was a lady selling V Day baskets with teddy bears and flowers last night.

I think... people that smile all the time are creepy. Switch up your expressions a little. I'm not saying you have to mean mug, but maybe have a pensive look every now and then. Smirk, instead of cheesing... anything!

I think... that people think I'm a good conversationalist because I actually listen to them and respond on topic. Truth be told, I rarely really talk about myself, but they dont realize that until months later when they run out of things to say.

I think... that I am finally ready for another blogger meet up. I tried to keep the blog world and real world seperate, but I think I can handle it. Anyone that's gonna be in ATL, let me know and we can see what's up. *subject to change as my antisocial tendencies flare back up*

I think... that the phrase Mr. DJ should be outlawed. Why does the DJ get so much respect? How bout Mr. R&B singer or Mr. Commercial voice over guy? I think I had this conversation with somebody recently.

I think... that too many women call themselves divas (Not you J!). Too many men call themselves thugs. Too many kids grow up too quickly and try to act like divas and thugs.

I think... one of the things I like about Youngster is that she calls me out on my shit. I'm so used to just being able to bully my way through a conversation. She doesn't always let me be right. It's different but cool. Now if you would answer your phone when I call, it would be all good. LOL

I think... that I may have been in a strange mood yesterday, but I faked it pretty good. I think it was b/c yesterday would have been my father's 60th birthday if he were still alive.

I think... that one of the funniest things in the world is the way my 2 year old nephew says "No Shawty!" I can't beleive they taught him that phrase.

I think... that I go out of my way to prove how abnormal I am. Like I think of ways to make people say "wow, that was strange."

I think... that I'm gonna stop writing now, even though I am being thoroughly entertained via email. I should try to get 3 hours of sleep before work.

Happy Friday and stuff like that! I'll get at you tomorrow. One!

Moratorium

Can we please have a moratorium on the Superman dance? I mean, if you have reached the age of 30, or if you are of an different ethnic background, please stop doing this dance. We are laughing at you, not with you.

Can we please have a moratorium on crazy emails? Don't stalk me via email to tell me that you are not stalking me. In fact, you are stalking me. Don't make me print copies of this email and distribute them so people will know how crazy you actually are.

Can we please have a moratorium on the little shirts? I like looking at skin as much as the next man, but if we are at work, you might want to present yourself in a more professional manner.

Can we please have a moratorium on the Bri.tney news? Her kids are gonna grow up and see this one day. Besides I'm just sick of hearing about it.

Can we please have a moratorium on the loud African music first thing in the morning. I don't need to be reminded of Roots when I am just waking up.


Thanks for your cooperation...

Musical Notes

Just a few notes about music. I'll try not to be too much of a hater, even though it's in me.

Do people not realize that J.ay-Z is talking from the perspective of dope in his song I Kno.w? They play it on the radio like he's actually talking as a man to a woman. He's actually talking as heroin to a dope fiend. Even though I don't really like the Ame.rican G.angster album, his lyrics are on point.

Never was much of a Ciar.a fan, but in that new video she's looking kinda nice. She's like a mixture between a fitness model and pole dancer. Me likey!

That Chr.is Br.own song "Wi.th Y.ou" sounds to me like a retread of Beyon.ce's "Irr.ep.laceable." I wonder if N.e-Y.o wrote that one too. At the least, it must have been produced by the same people (whoever they are.)

My embarrassing stupid song that I like of the moment Ro.ck.o Da D.on: "Um.ma Do M.e" My favorite line: "You like dancin' I just two step/You like to trick off but I don't do that." Something about the phrase "trick off" just cracks me up. I can't believe this dude is with Mo.nica. Is there no justice in the world?

Is that R.Kelly rem.ix to "Fla.shing Lig.hts" a real remix or did he just Deebo the track? It sounds like he just made his own shit up and delivered it to radio.

S.is.Q0 is doing a country music show? Wow... I wonder if he still got that platinum blonde hair cut. Anyone remember when he had that dance show on MTV? Sis.qo's Shak.edown, I think it was called. Remember I was telling you about my homeboy Tony last week. Back in the day, he got that blonde S.isQo-esque hairstyle. We clowned him incessantly about that.

My niece got Alici.a Ke.y's album this week. Why did she play "No O.ne" 50-leven times in a row. I was like can you go to the next song...please? I beg of you...no more "N.o One." I guess it's better than that Han.nah Mo.ntana she was listening to a couple of months ago. Okay, full disclosure time... I actually like that show and even sometimes watch it when the kids aren't around. LOL, I know that sounds strange, but hey, I'm just being honest.

It pains me to write this sentence but I'm gonna do it anyway. W.uT.ang's album is fuckin' horrible. I was the biggest W.u fan back in the day. I will still zone out to their first 3 albums, not to mention a lot of the solo albums. I know they've been out of the spotlight for a minute, but I was expecting something a whole lot better from them. On the contrary, Gh.ostface (from the Wu) delivered another hip hop classic album in my opinion. I need him to share his beats with the rest of the clan.

Someone do me a favor, please? Tell Lil Wa.yne that he doesn't have to be on every song, mixtape, video etc. There is a such thing as over exposure. Even though, he did deliver one of my favorite lines this year ("I'm so fucking good like I'm sleeping with Meagan" I tried several times to write a post using that title, but I couldn't ever come up with anything. LOL), he really is not that good to be diluting himself on everybody else's songs. Just tell him to slow it down, and while you're at it, tell him to stop getting arrested for drugs. Thanks!

I rode by the Lu.pe Fi.asco concert tonight. I didn't buy a ticket, cuz I just don't know about him. He's cool, but I don't think I would want to see him perform live. W.yclef was in Atlanta last night too. I know I don't wanna see him. He's one of those cats in the game I respect, but whose music I don't like.

I could be wrong, but isn't falsetto a male thing? I was listening to TheDr.eam's song of the same name, and he was talking about making a girl talk in a "False.tto." Wouldn't that just be her natural higher pitched voice? I don't know, and I probably should look it up before I post this, but I got enough damn links in this post.

Ame.rie! Don't have anything to say about her, just wanted an excuse to post a picture of her. Good Lawd!!! She is running a close second to Ga.brielle Un.ion in the celebrity crush field.

You ever have a crush on someone that was based on something totally other than looks? Fait.h Eva.ns used to be my music crush. Her voice is just amazing and I hope she releases something new soon. I heard a new??? song the other day that just reminded me that I was missing her.

I know I said I would try not to sound like a hater, but I have nothing but contempt for B.ow Wo.w and Om.arion. Their music makes me want to smash whatever outlet is playing it. It's on the radio - HULK SMASH! Video on BET - HULK SMASH!. On the internet - HULK SMASH! I know that a lot of artists will sample other artists, but when they used "Goin.g B.ack To C.ali" for their new song, I wanted to just find them and beat the shit outta them. Well, mostly Bo.w W.ow. I don't like O, but at least he's not a poseur and actually has a modicum of talent. Okay, rant over.

Even when I intend to write a short post, I find a way to make it long as hell. LOL! Anyway, these were Rashan's Musical Notes for the day. Happy Saturday!

Ou est la neige?

Or something like that. For some reason I was trying to remember my 3 years of high school french. Truth be told, I only took French for two very superficial reasons: Leslie (not the one from yesterday's post) and because the girl talking French in BoyzIIMen's Uhh-Ahh (the sequel). Wait a minute, that's not true... I was I got my years mixed up. Never mind, scratch that...

I think the title means "Where is the snow?" Although its been so long since I actually spake the language of love, that I could be totally wrong. Is spake a real word? It sounds biblical or something, its probably archaic, but I like the way it sounds so it stays. I should probably get to the point of the post before you think I am high. I'm not, but I can see how you would think that I am with the direction this post is going. This would be a good time to actually do some editing, but I kind of like the idea of people thinking I'm crazy. Normal is boring, or at least that's what I tell myself in moments like these. On a sidenote, I shoulda signed up for Blog 365. I have 17 posts in 17 days this year, so what if I did 3 in one day? I can get 365 posts this year. N-T-way, I'm doing that old say-whatevers-on-my-mind-regardless-of-whether-it-makes-a-lick-of-sense-thing, so I should get back to the topic. What was I writing about again?

La neige... Oh yeah, it snowed yesterday in Atlanta. Like real snow. That's not a euphemism for cocaine. The skies opened up and white stuff fell for a good 3 hours. It got so bad (or good depending on your perspective) that when I looked out the window at work, the snow actually was sticking. I know, it probably wasn't even 2 inches of snow, but for Atlanta that was something serious. I actually got my hopes up that I would have a snow day tomorrow. I had visions of not going to work tomorrow while the city shut down around me. Old ladies rushing to supermarket to get toilet paper (Thanks Tenacious) and vienna sausages, middle aged men running to Home Depot to get extra firewood, alcoholics stocking up on their Colt .45 or E&J just in case the package store don't open. And me, sitting home reading blogs all day, in my draws snacking on generic brand Froot Loops and drinking peppermint tea. What a glorious day it was in my overindulgent imagination. I didn't even think about how treacherous the ride home would be. I gave no thought to the 18 wheelers recklessly speeding on the icy roads, while I'm sitting upright and holding my hands at 10 and 2 o clock like my grandma, trying not to lose control of the only car that has actually been reliable for me in the last year. All that didn't matter. Thursday was gonna be a free day for me!

Then 8 o clock came... The snow that so luxiouriously coated the trees behind our building turned into rain. Not even freezing rain, just regular old vanilla rain. Rain which melted the snow that covered the roads. Rain that made the highways slippery, but not slippery enough to give me a day off. Rain that's intended purposes seemed to be pissing me off, making me cold and landing directly in my eye. Damn you, rain! Bring back the snow! All night I had the news playing in the background. They did special reports about our "Winter Weather 08." They announced all the schools that were closing, some of the business that were closing, even though there is no more "Winter Weather 08" to speak of. Its just a regular old rainy cold day now. No ice, no snow, and no chillin in my draws reading blogs and watching movies on OnDemand that I would never watch on one of my regular days off.

Ou est la neige? Je voudrais ne travailler pas. Paix!

I Guess I Better Go Ahead And Do It

I got tagged 3 1/2 times to do this one, so I guess I better comply. First was Eb the Celeb, then Opinionated Diva, then Minerva Exertion said I would fill it out (that counts as a half, even though she didn't technically tag me), then I see my old alleged blog cut buddy Tenacious (yes, I'm bringing up old shit, T! LOL)tagged me. I had something else to write about, but I must obey the wishes of these beautiful ladies, so here goes.

The rules of the game are:
A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...
B). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs..
C). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Two Names you go by:

1. Rashan (emphasize the RAH and we'll be friends forever. It's not Ruh or Raa)

2. You Asshole/Fuckin' Jerk/Mean Ass/Sonafabitch - Was it something I said? LOL

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:

1 A button up shirt that I recently learned was Salmon colored and brings out my skin tone. Someone actually told me this at work today. She also told me that I have beautiful skin. I was like "uhh, okay, thanks." How do I respond to that?

2. A pair of old jeans I put on when I got home from work. Strange, I changed my pants, but forgot to change my shirt.

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:

1. Compatibility - I seem to always hook up with women I'm not entirely compatible with. We just like totally different things. And while that's cool if both people learn something from the other, I usually just end up with a bunch of agree to disagree situations that never get resolved and fester throughout the course of the relationship. So, yeah, a little compatibility would be nice.

2. Intimacy - I'm not just talking sex, but that would be nice too. Just someone I can share the real me with, without any fear of reprisals. Sharing every aspect of our lives together. Yeah, I come across as a cynic, but at heart I'm really a romantic. Just don't go telling everybody.


Two of your favorite things to do:

1. Write long ass blog posts. For example, I could have answered all these questions in a couple of words, but instead, I decided to get loquacious with it and elucidate all the answers.

2. Laugh. Whether at other people or at myself, at things that are intentionally and unintentionally funny. I find humor in everything. It may be funny only to me, but thats enough for me.


Two things you want very badly at the moment:

1. Enough money to be able to get what I want when I want it, but not enough to make me forget how to treat people

2. That girl to quit the job so I can get at her. Damn "don't shit where you eat" rules! Whose dumb idea was that anyway? I don't really go out that much, so where else am I supposed to meet women?


Two pets you had/have:

1. Have I done this tag before? I'm getting a deja vu feeling. I had a hamster that committed suicide. I came home from school and found him hanging between the bars in his cage. No one in the family can remember his name. I remember my sister's was Peach Fuzz, and my brother's was Cinnamon, but I think I have repressed the memory of my hamster's name.

2. A cute little dog named Scruffy that we kept at my dad's parents house in Columbus. I remember we used to feed him grits and bacon when we were kids.


Two people you think will fill this out:

1. Tenacious already did it and she's the one who always steals my tags

2. The Goddess is also good for a tag every now and again.


Two things you did last night:

1. Watched Season Two of "Cracker", which incidentally is not about racist white people, but rather a British crime drama about a psychologist who "cracks" murder cases. I'm such an Anglophile. I have 4 different British TV shows in my Netflix queue. Their shows are just so much more subtle than American shows. Not saying I don't like our shows, but its a nice change of pace.

2. Looked at my phone crazy as I received 4 text messages in a row from the same damn person. Really, let me respond to one message before you send me another one. I was in the middle of typing a response when the 3rd one came and then I just said "Fuck it, you are not getting answered tonight."


Two things you ate today:

1.Corn Pops with Lactaid Milk. Lactaid has got to be the best invention in the world. No more doubling over in pain after a bowl of cereal. No more.. well you get the point. I'm lactose intolerant (self diagnosis)

2. A Ham and Cheese sammich with dijon mustard. Cheese doesn't count with my lactose intolerance.


Two people you last talked to:

1. Myself on the ride home from work. I had to convince myself of something and I could only do that by talking it out verbally. I know it sounds crazy, but it really works.

2. The New Year's "It's not a date" girl. She wants me. LOL


Two things you're doing tomorrow:

1. Waking up in plenty of time to get ready for work, then getting distracted by what's on the History Channel, then taking entirely too long in the shower (the hot water soothes me),then ironing my clothes which I should be doing now, then rushing to the car to go to work, then worrying about traffic on the way to work, then getting to work 30 minutes early and realizing that I was rushing for no damn good reason.

2. Finding new ways to frustrate, confuse, boggle, intrigue, piss off, and attract people at work.


Two longest car rides:

1. Atlanta to Chicago and vice versa (13 hours). I only survived by listening to some books on Cds. It was totally worth it. Chicago during July 4th weekend, the Taste of Chicago... Man, I wanna go back this year, except this time I'm flying.

2. Savannah to Atlanta in 1999 during the Hurricane Floyd evacuation. It took like 10 or 11 hours to make a trip that usually takes 4 at the most. Traffic on both the east and west sides of I-16 were going west, and we still weren't moving. To make things worse, I was with my girl and my best friend and they were smoking herb the whole way. I had just recently quit ( I wrote about quitting here, here and here... yep I was writing 3 part posts even when I first started blogging.), and was the only sober one in the car and yes, I was driving. They had a good ride, I was just frustrated as hell.


Two favorite holidays:

1. Christmas - Its the most wonderful time of the year!

2. Arbor Day, I'm playing. Thanksgiving is the real answer.


Two Favorite beverages:

1. Ginger Ale - Ever since I stopped with the caffiene (its a migraine trigger for me) I've been drinking Ginger Ale instead of Coke all the time. Its even better when I mix it with some kind of juice. Like Ginger Ale and Grapefruit juice is delicious.

2. Lemonade - I don't drink it often, but whenever I go out and I'm not on some liquor (i.e. I'm with family or some girl that doesn't drink or like me to drink around them. There's that compatibility thing again. What's that about anyway?) I have lemonade. Again, its even better when combined with something else. Kiwi Lemonade, Mango Lemonade, Peach Lemonade... I'm thirsty now.

Two People No Longer Alive Who You'd Like To Talk To:

1. Alton Derrick Weldon - my father. Nuff said.

2. Marvin Gaye - just to pick his brain about music.

I don't tag people, but feel free to tag yourselves. Especially if its been a week or more since your last post. I'm just saying, I like to read too. LOL

Christmas Hoopla!!

Unlike some people, I'll list the rules first, so you know what to expect. I'm just saying, tricking people into reading a tag is so not right. LOL

The rules:

1. List 12 random things about yourself that have to do with Christmas!
2. Please refer to it as a ‘hoopla’ and not the dreaded ‘m’-word
3. You have to specifically tag people when you’re done. None of this “if you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged” stuff because then nobody ends up actually doing it.
4. Get to work! The Christmas season will be over before we know it.

1. In high school chorus, we sang the same Christmas songs every year. And then the following years when my brother was in Chorus, they sang the same songs too. I love Mrs. Reagan, my chorus teacher, but she really could have skipped "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" once in a while. And while we are on the subject of Christmas songs, you know that song "We Wish You A Merry Christmas?" In the second verse, when they start singing about "Bring us some figgy pudding and bring us some now?" We, as young adolescent boys, made a very lewd and profane version of that. I know, so not Christmasy, but it was funny at the time.

2. One year in Savannah, it actually got cold for Christmas and ice covered all the roads. I had rented a Nintendo game from Blockbuster and it was due on Christmas Eve. (The game was extremely wack...I think it was called Black Bass and was all about fishing. The only thing more boring than fishing, is playing a Nintendo game about fishing.) Anyway, my mom had to bring back to the video store before they closed, and as we were driving, the car spun around on the ice and we went around in circles. Luckily, nobody else was on the roads. It was actually pretty fun to me. It felt like a mini roller coaster.

3. When I was 19, I was working at a hospital in the kitchen. All of the older ladies loved me, because of my natural charm (LOL). Actually this was before my whole anti social, don't talk to me, sarcastic side was fully developed. Well, that year one of the cafeteria ladies bought me a bottle of Hennessy. I didn't really drink then, but we tried to make some spiked eggnog out using the Hennessy. It was the nastiest drink I have ever had in my life.

4. One Christmas (1997), me and my homeys, Kareem and Tori went to the movies to see Jackie Brown. That was a fateful day. We ran into this girl named Charis, and her girlfriend Navika, and Navika's best friend Terri. This was the first time I had met them. In the upcoming year, I would become roommates with Charis, and Terri would become my bestest female (mostly) platonic friend. I lost touch with Charis after she had moved her new girlfriend (and her son) into our apartment and I dipped. And Terri and I lost contact when I moved from Savannah, and her phone kept getting disconnected. I wonder how they are doing now.

5. When I lived in New York, nothing was better to me than snow on Christmas. Granted I was a kid and didn't have to drive in it, but riding a sled down a hill on Christmas was my favorite thing. One year, I don't know if it was Christmas or not, I rode my sled down a hill and lost control and went under a steel fence. I scratched my face all up, but still didn't want to go inside.

6. For some reason, we used to always watch Ben-Hur around Christmas. I don't know if that is really a Christmas movie or not, but that was one of our traditions when I was like 12.

7. When I have kids, I want them to believe in Santa Claus for a while. So many Black people I meet don't do the Santa thing. They don't want an old White man to get credit for what they do for their kids. I say who cares. Its all a part of the magic of Christmas. There are so many other issues that are far more important than that. Let your kids just be kids and worry about racism and economics later.

8. My siblings and I don't exchange gifts on Christmas. Well, for the most part we don't. A while ago, we decided that instead of buying a gift for each other, we would just keep the money that we would spend and use it for whatever we needed or desired. That way, there's no pressure to figure out what they would like or anything like that. I know its strange but our agreement works out for us. This year although I didn't get my sister a gift, I did pay for most of the gift from her kids. And my brother, well he just had a baby, so he gets no gifts anymore. It's all about Lil Justin.

9. I found about Santa Claus when I was 7. I saw my father putting together my Christmas gifts. I think it was a hot wheel track. I didn't say anything because I still wanted to get gifts from both Santa and from my parents. LOL, I used to be all about the presents.

10. One Christmas, when I living with my ex, we got mad early and went to some friends house to open presents and have breakfast. The catch was... I really could not stand them. They were more her friends than my friends, but I played along anyway. Anyway, Christmas morning conversation consisted of why Tupac was the best rapper, how many guns they have in the house and getting blunted at 7 AM. I was appalled, so I spend the whole time playing with their daughter who was like 3. I don't think they ever knew that I didn't like them. I think they just thought that I was being friendly to their kid.

11. I have horrible luck when it comes to Secret Santa and stuff like that. This one year at my old job, I got nothing from my Secret Santa. Another year, I got a bag of chocolate candies. I don't eat chocolate. This year, I got a Chia Shrek. I vented about that the other day.

12. In Savannah, the neighbors across the street used to put up a gaudy, excessive, Christmas pageant on their house. They had lights for days, an inflatable Santa on the roof, a nativity scene. One year they had a giant inflatable snow globe on the front yard. I alternated between being impressed and being annoyed by them. The year when they added sound (Santa's Ho Ho Ho) I was annoyed.

Bonus # 1. I'm not good at picking out Christmas gifts. To me the gift card is the best thing ever invented because it takes all the decision making off of me.

Bonus # 2. (Cuz Jameil only had one bonus!) I gotta watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "The Grinch That Stole Christmas" at least once during the Christmas season.

Okay, so I don't do the tag thing. If Jameil will forgive me for breaking the rules, I'm gonna leave that part out. What can I say, I'm a rebel. I don't know if anyone will read this or not, but if you do, have a Merry Christmas. I'll still be here posting away, so if you get bored, stop by and check me out.

Seriously? Part Deux

More random thoughts and crazy occurrences... Seriously??? I did it before, and I'll probably do it again...

Seriously??? A Chia pet??? I buy a DVD, someone else buys a CD, another one buys a rice cooker and you come through with a Chia pet. Come on, dawg!!! Who the hell wants a Chia pet? I don't care if it's Shrek, it's still a fuckin' Chia pet. Matter of fact, where does one get a Chia pet from anyway?

Seriously??? You just gonna cock block me for real? Are you doing this intentionally or are you just that dense? I don't need your participation in this conversation.

Seriously??? You don't think you are crazy? I'm gonna need you to examine your need for attention and instant acknowledgement. That impatience ain't exactly normal.

Seriously??? How many times are you gonna say sorry in this conversation? You just said sorry 6 times in the last 30 seconds. Seriously??? Who messed you up like that? Why are you scared to speak your mind?

Seriously??? You are gonna grunt "Merry Christmas" after every grocery bag you fill? That is beyond creepy. Matter of fact, just move over. I'll bag my own groceries. I'm a little scared of you. You are like the Sling Blade of Christmas cheer.

Seriously??? You wanna have a crazy mate contest with me? Awww, youngster! You don't know who you dealing with. I got 13 years on you. I have years of experience of crazy and inappropriate females. You will not win this one.

Seriously??? You get mad about that? Cuz I wanted to get off the phone? I could have made up an excuse, but I thought you would appreciate the honesty. After all that we've been through, that's the tipping point? Not all the stuff you did, or all the other smart comments I made, but me saying I want to do something off the phone? I don't understand that, but if that's how you feel, I respect that.

Seriously??? I'm supposed to chase you down? I'm sorry, but I'm the chasee, not the chaser. I know you are prettier than I am, but that's not gonna happen. We mad grown, and the games are for kids. Come at me real or don't come at me at all.

Seriously??? You are giving me a choice between going to Taboo 2 and a strip club? I can't think of one scenario that doesn't end with a table dance. Let's see, I can go hang out with the "grown and sexy, Stacy Adams, old man in the club" crowd or I can see naked women. That's not such a hard choice for me.

Seriously??? You gave speeches to Congress and worked with Jesse Jackson, but you can't talk to us? What are you looking at on the floor? Why are you tripping over your words? That's not exactly awe inspiring leadership there.

Seriously??? You just gonna plan out my whole weekend for me? I have to? The hell you say. I don't have to do shit but be Black and die. That's how you ask me? We've known each other too long for you to think that I would respond the way you want me to.

Seriously??? I'm on vacation and you think I'm gonna show my face in the office to decorate for the holiday? You think that's my idea of fun? Not so much. We can do this when I'm here, but I'll be damned if I drive 35 minutes to put up some Christmas lights. You gonna have to hold that down without me.

Seriously??? You just gonna keep posting everyday? You're just trying to make me look bad, aren't you. I already acknowledged that you won! Take a day off. LOL I'm only kidding, Jameil.

Seriously??? You expect me to believe that bullshit story? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. When so many people are really struggling, you take advantage of peoples kindness. I can only hope that Karma comes to bite you in the ass sooner rather than later. You damn parasite!!!

Seriously??? A hug? Why would I want to hug you? Like Prince said "I can't have a hug unless I have a kiss." And I can't do that. You sit way too close to me, and when it goes bad, which of course it will, I don't wanna have no beef at work. I will admit that I'm intrigued, but that's as far as it will go. So, sorry. I'm gonna have to give you the side hug, and not the full body hug. That's just a little too dangerous right now.

Seriously??? How many seriouslys are you gonna write? You act like people have nothing better to do than to read your random thoughts. This post is getting way too long, so seriously, cut it short, man. People have other blogs to visit, work to do, etc. Just stop already.