Open Letter To President-Elect Obama

Okay, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm back now. I'm blog inspired again. I think this is a good one, which means that everybody else will think it sucks and I'll get like 3 comments. LOL

Dear Mr. Obama,

I don’t usually do this. I’m not the type that asks for help from his government, but in light of recent events, I feel compelled to intervene on behalf of those that do not have a voice. We’ve all seen what the government has done with recent bailout of the financial sector, most notably AIG (who I used to work for.) We’ve heard the requests of the Big Three automakers for federal assistance. I know that you are probably reticent to provide additional bailouts with the criticism levied your way about being a Socialist, but this group needs help. And if the government doesn’t do it, I don’t know who will.

Let me give you a little background. I’ve been noticing that the declining economy has been affecting this industry for awhile. Parking lots that once were full languish half empty. People that once would spend their hard earned paycheck in these establishments, now only indulge on special occasions. There just has not been as much disposable income to stimulate the economy in these tough times. But Thursday really drove the point home. As much as one hears about Black Friday, there’s another big day that drives spending… at least in Atlanta. It is affectionately known as Booty Shaking Thursday!

Booty Shaking Thursday is the fourth Thursday in November. It’s a tradition that after all the football, after all the food and after all the family time, men (and lesbians) from all over the city descend on their favorite strip club to give thanks for what God has given…to the strippers (or if you would prefer me to be more politically correct, we can call them dancers.) What’s more American than leaving your family and indulging in hedonistic behavior? Well, this Thursday I saw the unthinkable: There were virtually no patrons at the club as I drove by. Quelle Horror! It’s often been posited that stripping was a recession proof occupation. People will always pay to see women in various states of undress. Well, I’m here to tell you, Mr. President-Elect. The old ways of thinking are wrong. We need fresh ideas in order to stimulate our economy. We need our government to bail out some strippers (and not in the normal way of bailing out because she got a little too “friendly” with an undercover or her cocaine fell out of her boot.)

The ramifications of BST are far reaching. Imagine if there were no strip clubs. It wouldn’t just affect the owners and employees. It would damage our economy. Sales of Coronas and Patron would plummet. Who would buy those clear heeled shoes? The local beauty shop’s business would dry up because no strippers = no lace front weaves and no hideous blonde wigs. Glitter would be used only by kindergartners with school projects. What about that guy in the bathroom that hands you a paper towel after you wash your hands? He would have to get his crack by robbing people instead of the tips of drunken patrons. What about babysitters? If these dancers don’t have to work until 4 in the morning, then they can take care of their own kids. And the big meaty looking bodyguards and bouncers? The NFL ain’t hiring them, so where will they work? They can’t fit in a cubicle! Where else can you find a pack of Blacks for $7, everywhere else they are 3 dollars! That’s $4 dollars a pack stimulating our economy. Think about the economy, Mr President-Elect.

While some people may oppose this plan, I urge you to look at it objectively. It wont cost nearly as much as bailing out GM, and unlike American cars, people actually like strippers. Can you imagine a world where there are more dancers than customers? I, for one, don’t want to live in a world like that. I know you are anti-lobbyist, but if it would help, I can send Persuasion, Peaches and Chocolate Tiger to Washington to plead our case. And don’t worry, I won’t tell Michelle.

Sincerely,

Rashan Jamal

The All Black Cabinet

I'm getting pretty tired of all the political talk on blogs lately. It has more to do with the fact that I already know who I'm voting for and just wish the election would hurry up. I don't really need to read anybody else's opinion on the matter. Besides pretty much everyone I read thinks the same as I do. Obama is the man, McCain is not the man, and Palin is an idiot. I don't really need to read that same post every day. Never the less, I know its important to people, so I'll just deal with it for the next 3 weeks.

That being said, today's post is about politics. LOL.

Don't worry, this ain't one of those serious posts that decry Republican attacks, or talk about how good Barack is. This is some of that good old fashioned sarcasm that you've come to expect from Rashan.

White people are funny to me. I don't if they actually believe half of the negative things they say or not, but it's ridiculous to me when they talk about how Barack is possibly anti-white, possibly Muslim (like being Muslim is a crime) or anti American. They act like he is some big time militant hell bent on destroying America. Whether you agree or not with the man's politics, it's seems pretty clear that voting for him is NOT going to bring about some revolution. But that got me to thinking... Do these people actually think that Obama will go out of his way to appoint unqualified people to his cabinet in an attempt to bring down the country just because they are Black? Which led me to come up with some totally fake cabinet appointments that made me laugh. And yes, I often laugh at my own jokes even if other people think they aren't funny. LOL

Secretary of State - Louis Farrakhan - He'll be in charge of changing America into a Black state. Plus he got something going for him if he's still alive with all the stuff he's said over the years.

Secretary of the Treasury -50 Cent. Who got more money than this guy?

Secretary of Defense - TI - You know he knows where to find the guns.

Attorney General - OJ Simpson - Don't nobody know more about the court system than this guy.

Secretary of the Interior - Little Richard. Mainly because I have no idea what this department does, but it sounds like interior design, which I think Little Richard would have a knack for.

Secretary of Agriculture - Freeway Ricky Ross. No, not the rapper, but the drug kingpin. You know this dude knows how to plan a crop and sell it.

Secretary of Commerce - George Foreman. If he can get rich of some cheap ass grills, then he definitely can get our trade going.

Secretary of Labor - Robert Johnson formerly of BET. If he can keep horrible Black comedians and horrible Black musicians working for all these years, he may just be the answer to unemployment.

Secretary of Health and Human Services - Dr Dre. Come on, he's a doctor for Pete's sake!

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - Tiger Woods - I know what you are saying. Tiger ain't Black. LOL But follow me on this one. He got so much money and so many houses, that he could easily turn some of them into projects or subdivisions or little townships, villages or incorporated cities.

Secretary of Transportation - The dude that came up with the Expedition. Cuz niggas love big trucks. LOL

Secretary of Energy - Flavor Flav - you need energy, you call a hypeman.

Secretary of Education - KRS ONE - Who better to lead the way on education than The Teacher? Even if he sounds ridiculous and would be better served to just rap than to try to inform us.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs -Barry Bonds. Just cause white people hate him. A 20 year veteran who couldn't find a job last year. I'm sure he'll fix that when he gets this job.

Director of National Drug Control Policy - Marion Barry. Need I say more?

I know, I'm crazy. You got any to add?

One Man Poll*

Breaking Poll Results…. 100% of members of Rashan Jamal’s household are tired of polls.

Further Polling reveals the wide gap between those that want more polls and those that wish they would just stop. 98% of participants say that polling is unreliable while 2% remain undecided.

Another Gallup Poll of 1 registered voter in Dekalb County, Georgia presents some shocking results. 97% of those surveyed say that polls can be manipulated to suit any point of view. One poll participant added, “depending on what newspaper or tv station you watch, either Obama’s gonna win or McCain is gonna win. Guess what? I did not know that. Thanks for explaining 50/50 to me.”

Pollsters continued to survey voters in an effort to paint the true picture of how people feel about polls. A recent
CNN/USA TODAY poll reveals that some voters (99%) believe that polls should only be conducted by people you’ve heard of. This serves as a bad sign for the Beauxdreaux Aloyishus Polling Academy which has been training annoying people to poll since 2006.

And in a surprising turn of events, a whopping 99.9% of sarcastic bloggers that have nothing else to write about reveal the truth about polling. The numbers mean nothing in most cases. They only serve as false security for dummies or false hope for the deluded. The campaign is never over based on what 750 people or some other ridiculously small cross section of society that answers unknown phone numbers think. Also, people lie. They’ll say one thing but vote another. Bradley Effect anyone? (I should really link that.) Or how about the 2000 election when people went to bed thinking Gore won and woke up finding out that nobody won. Then finding out that Bush’s brother stole Florida for him… Wait, that’s not what I was talking about. The point is anyone can do a poll and get any answer they want. I’m just tired of it.

*all polls have a margin of error of +/- 4%.

Cynical or Realist?

Read the following statement paraphrased from a conversation I had yesterday and tell me: Am I a cynic or a realist?

Barack can't say anything about Palin's fast daughter. Sure, he says "family is off limits," but what else is he gonna say? It's a political move. He would be crucified if he came out and attacked Palin for having an unwed teenage daughter. Don't get me wrong. I really like Barack, but he's still a politician and motivated by political things. He didn't get where he is now without knowing how to play the game. And while he won't come out and comment on the irony of the situation, that doesn't mean he won't turn the other way while his people keep it in the news.

See, I was told I was a cynic. And I guess by the dictionary definition that could be true. But I feel I'm just being real. I'm not looking at Barack with rose colored glasses. I know that he has to do things sometimes that he may not personally agree with, but are necessary. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with being political. Its the only way to get things done sometimes. So, I don't think I was being cynical. I was just looking at the reality of the situation and making an evaluation. What do you think? Am I a cynic or am I a realist?

I Could Never Run For Office

This was sparked by an incident that just happened. It's strange how my brain goes from one simple thought, to this monstrosity of a blog post.

I was at the local QT filling up the Buick with $58.87 of regular unleaded. I'm cleaning out the car while the gas pumps when this SUV pulls up next to me. At first I'm looking like, who is this rolling up on me and go for my gun...I be lying. I don't have a gun. I'm just kidding. Anyway, I was like why is this truck so close to me? The window rolls down and these two middle aged white women start looking at me. I ignore them and continue to gather up all the little scraps of gum wrappers that seem to magically accumulate under the passenger seat, when I accidentally make eye contact...

"Sir, can you help us out on gas?"
"Nah, I ain't got it."
"You sure you can't spare a few gallons?"
"A few gallons? Most people beg for change. How you gonna ask a complete stranger for a few gallons? That's 12 dollars." I know, I'm a jerk!
"Come on, sir!"
"Sorry, I ain't got it."

As they drove away, the first thought in my head was this: what has the world come to when white people are asking me for money and calling me sir? Yeah, I could never run for office. I think I'm kind of racist cuz that ish made me feel good. Like I had overcome. I know that's not right, but that's the real. I got racist tendencies, I think we all do. I'm not racist like I hate other races, but I damn sure don't downplay the differences between us. As much as people like to homogenize our so called melting pot, Black people are different than White people are different than Asians are different than Latinos. Politicians have to pretend that's not the case. Well, except for Hillary. You know she is the White America's candidate. (perhaps she misspoke again. LOL) As much as I admire Barack Obama, it couldn't be me. I would be calling cats out for their racism. Consequently, I wouldn't get elected. But that's not the only reason I couldn't run for office.

The whole character issue in politics would preclude me from seeking public office. While I'm living legally now, there was a time when I would just as easily take your stuff as talk to you. Matter of fact, don't cross me, cuz I may not be fully rehabilitated yet. LOL. I fashioned myself as a modern day Robin Hood. I would rob from the rich and give to the poor. The poor in most cases just so happened to be me. There were just certain items back in the day that I couldn't fathom paying for. For examples, batteries. Why should I pay for batteries when it is so easy to just open the package and slide them in my pocket? And condoms. I'm the reason that Kroger has them things locked up now a days. Them joints were expensive to a poor college student and who wanted to spend all day in the clinic getting those cheap unlubricated Li.festyles in the grey packages that they gave out. That's not to say that other politicians don't steal, but they did/do it on a totally different scale. When I did my dirt my hands actually got dirty.

What about the drugs? Some politicians will admit that they smoked a little weed, but they always do in regretful tones. I can't bring myself to apologize for doing something that most people try in their younger years. I don't think weed was a mistake. Nobody got hurt from me burning a few blunts. I never had to perform illicit sexual acts to get high, so what's the big deal? Weed, in my opinion shouldn't even be illegal. If I can get drunk legally, why can't I get high legally? (thats another post for another time.) And though I haven't actively smoked the wacky tobacky since April 24th, 1999, I'd be lying if I said that I never wanted to do it again. Weed is from the earth...God put this here for me and you...take advantage man...take advantage. If I ran for office, they probably would find my blog and read about all my high adventures. Let me itemize some of them for you just to make it easier for my opponents... There's this story.... and this one... and can't forget about this one... You want more just go through my archives. Go ahead and disqualify me from the race right now. LOL

You know how I said I be lying? Well, I don't be lying when it comes to saving peoples feelings. I've been accused of being insensitive. I know that's not the ideal quality for someone in public office, but I can't help it. I call stupid by its name: STUPID!!! I don't have the gene that tells me to sugarcoat stuff. If you do something dumb, why am I the wrong one for telling you it's dumb? Empathetic? Not so much, but that's me. Yet another reason I couldn't run for office. (Along these same lines, I think that once you reach a certain threshold, certain rights should be taken away. If you have 7 kids and none of your baby daddies are taking care of their children, you should lose the right to have sex with whoever you choose. I think the government should pick your next coitus partner and your tubes should be forcibly tied. Just an example. LOL)

Finally, this one is not a joke at all. I can try to make it funny, but it wont work. I believe that the inherent design of capitalism is flawed. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. In order to keep the system going, exploitation of the working class is tolerated, if not encouraged. That's why you have the majority of the country's wealth residing in a disproportionately small elite group. I'm no economist and I don't have any facts or figures to back this up, although a quick Google search may yield some answers. But this I know in my heart, supply and demand without checks or regulation will never completely work. Without some sort of intervention, what you will have will be an aristocracy profiting from the labor of the working class until the working class finally revolts against their oppressors. I'm not saying its gonna happen anytime soon, and America does have certain checks that prevent it from being as bad as it could be, but I personally think we need more. We need things like Universal Health Care, and educational standards. It's not as radical an idea as it may sound. I'm not a communist, although I did think I wanted to be one as a teenager, but I do believe that we can't solely allow the doctrine of supply and demand dictate our country.

Take it back to the anecdote I presented to start this post. Gas is $3.88 per gallon. It's not because there isn't enough oil in the world. It's because the oil producing nations are limiting their production of said oil. Supply and demand is dictating the prices. It seems that the rest of the world is now following America's capitalist lead. Can we really blame them for wanting to make money? After all, that's what America stands for, right? Bet you didn't think I could get deep. I'm not all jokes and sarcasm...

But lets get back to the sarcasm. I couldn't be an elected official. It just wouldn't work for me. Telling people what they want to hear has never been my strong point. I'm not gonna apologize and pretend that I didn't mean to to do the bad stuff that I did for the sake of an election. That's not me. I'd rather present the real me, flaws and all. I know that will never win me a popularity contest of an election, but I'm okay with that. We got enough unqualified people holding public office. Why should I throw my hat into the ring?

The BET Presidential Debate '08 (part 2)

This is part 2 of this post. If you didn't read part one, scroll on down or click here to catch up.

Terrence: Okay, we are back on 106 and Park's Presidential Debate. I'm Terrence and that's my girl Rocsi as if you didn't know.
Rocsi: What's good, people?
Terrence: We gonna bring out our next candidate to kick his freestyle. Mayor Giuliani, come on out.
Giuliani: How's everybody doing?

Audience boos:

Random Audience Member: You locked up my brother!
Giuliani: I sure did cuz I'm tough on crime.
Terrence: Aiight, I know a lot of cats in NY got beef with you, but we gonna let you kick your rhymes anyway. Maybe you can change some minds out here.

I'm America's mayor, not just the NY
When it comes to cleaning up crime, I'm that guy
Remember Times Square, it used to be dangerous and gritty
Now you see MTV, BET and even Walt Disney
They couldn't take my shine by knocking down the towers
Instead it gave Republicans all kinds of spying power.
They try to distract you by saying that I'm a cheater.
But 9/11 was stressful, you wouldn't be faithful either
Vote for me even though its been 5 years since I was in office
Or I'll just keep giving speeches to fill my coffers.

Terrence: Aiight, that's what's up!
Rocsi: I wanna give it up to my girl, Hillary Clinton coming to the stage.
Terrence: I see you got a special guest with you.
Hillary: I don't need a beat. My husband Bill is gonna beat box for me.
Terrence: Is that allowed?
Rocsi: It's never happened before, I'm not sure.
Terrence: Whatever, son! Go for what you know!

Bill Clinton beat boxes. Hillary raps.

The H to I to the L to the L
All you other candidates can just go to hell
I'm taking the gloves off and ain't pulling no punches
Try to debate me, kid I'm eating all their lunches
First off what the hell is a Mike Huckabee?
Coming from my home state, but he's just a wannabe
And Edwards, you had your chance and now you're losing
Better off having Al Gore come to lecture about pollution
Giulani gonna beat me? Come on get serious
His credentials are as funny as Eddie Murphy's Delirious
Mitt Romney? Fred Thompson? They ain't nothing nice
Barack is cool, but as your president? He can be my vice.
Vote Clinton in 08, its just me and Bill
Universal health care is how we keeps it real.

*drops mic*

Terrence: Ooooh!!! She ripped that son, She ripped that.
Rocsi: All my ladies in the house say "Owwwww"
Ladies: Owwww!!!
Terrence: I like that. That's gonna be tough to top. Who's up next!
Rocsi: It says here: Mitt Romney.
Terrence: Oh, the Mormon dude. Okay, do your thing, brother.
Romney: Actually, I'm not here to rap. I just wanted to let everybody know to register to vote. I also wanted to talk about family values.
Terrence: Is it true that you are a Mormon? Do you believe in polygamy?
Romney: There are a lot of misconceptions about Mormonism.
Terrence: Son, don't say it, spit it! This is Freestyle Friday and the livest audience wants to hear your skills
Romney: Uh, err...
Terrence: Do Y'all wanna hear a verse?

Crowd goes wild... Rap! Rap! Rap!

Romney: That's not what I came here for...
Rocsi: Aiight, I respect that, but lets move on to someone who is here to rap. Let's bring out our last candidate.
Terrence: Word! Word! BARACK OBAMA IN THE HOUSE!!!

Crowd cheers wildly.

Obama: What's up, 106 and Park?!?! You ready for me to rip this?!?!
Terrence: Be clear. The livest audience is ready for you, but you gonna have to BRING IT to top what Hillary just did. You ready?
Obama: Oh, yeah! Let me get that "Lose Yourself" instrumental
Rocsi: A little Eminem action? Let's do it!

Music Drops:

When I say O, you say bama
O - bama, O- bama
When I say O, you say bama
O - bama, O- bama

My opponents palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
Barack Obama in the house, comps not ready
They nervous, a black man armed and steady
Poised to take the White House, so come on already
I'm the unifier, and I'm bout to bridge the gap
From blues to rock n roll, from jazz to rap
Doesn't matter where your from or where you at
Barack Obama brings the drama, are you aware of that?
Only been a Senator for a couple of years
But got much more respect than the rest of my peers
Never fear anything, I wasn't raised to lose
I got the blueprint for a new day, like Jay-Z do
In November of 08 who will the people choose?
Lets talk about the others who tryna fill my shoes
We got McCain, who doesn't know what party he wants to rep
And Romney can talk family values but he's out of step
Giulani talks tough, but when it comes to leading
He's no different than George Bush, have our soldiers bleeding
And Huckabee, I don't even know this cat
Won in Iowa, now he thinks he got the inside track
I'm a tell you this much, I hope they nominate him
he ain't no competition for the democratic nation
Next up, Fred Thompson, he better stick to acting
Remember Reagan, them eight years? I aint tryna go back then
John Edwards is in the race, but he ain't the answer
Tryna play with your emotions by exploiting his wife's cancer
Hillary got some swag, but the facts remain evident
When I get the nomination, SHE can be MY vice president
Nah, let me stop, she wont make it on my ticket.
The first female VP is Oprah, ya dig it?

Terrence: OOOOHHH!!! You see how its going down? My man, Barack just ripped this. son!
Rocsi: Let's go to the audience and see who won this battle. I'ma half to go with my girl, Hillary!
Terrence: I'ont know! Barack represented out there! Let's let the livest audience decide...
Rocsi: True, True!
Terrence: But first, here's our new joint of the day, Jim Jones featuring Lil Wayne and T Pain. Its' called "I Suck"

Goes to video.

I know an abrupt ending, but I can't think of anything else to write and this shit is getting epic like. Besides, I think you get the point. This was just some strange sarcastic mess that I thought of. Who did you think was the best? I gotta go with Obama, probably because that was the first one I wrote. But I'm interested in your opinion. What do you think? I mean, besides the fact that I'm crazy, who represented in BET's Presidential Debate?

The BET Presidential Debate '08

Okay, I know I took a couple of days off from the blog, but I'm back. In fact it was just a weekend, the hell am I apologizing for. LOL. Here is another one from the insanity that goes on in my head. I'm watching the news and hear that everybody got a debate. MySpace, YouTube, FaceBook... What if BET had a debate? What if the election was like a rap beef? What if instead of saying nothing during the debates, the candidates actually said some real shit? What if they had a rap battle? Follow me, cuz I know it already sounds strange, but keep reading anyway...

The BET Presidential Debate '08

Terrence: Welcome to 106 and Park home of the livest audience! I'm Terrence and this is my cohost Rocsi.
Rocsi: What's up, ya'll! Ya'll ready to get live?

Audience screams.

Terrence: Aiight, that's what I'm talking about. Today we have a big show for you. We have new music from Bow Wow, a flashback video from Ja Rule and today we gonna do something new for you.
Rocsi: What we gonna do? What we gonna do?
Terrence: First of all, you have no idea how big this is!
Rocsi: How big is it, man?
Terrence: It's so big that I don't even know how to explain how big it is.
Rocsi: Tell 'em son. Tell em what's the deal.
Terrence: Son, today on this stage we have The 106 and Park Presidential Debates!!!

Audience doesn't react...

Rocsi: I'm saying... we got all the candidates in the house. Barack, Hilary, Guiliani.. I'm saying all of them.

Audience doesn't react.

Terrence: Aiight, Aiight. You know we do it real big here on 106 and Park.
Rocsi: No doubt.
Terrence: We ain't just got the candidates...
Rocsi: Word?
Terrence: Word! Today the candidates are gonna debate... in Freestyle Friday!!!

Audience goes wild.

Terrence: Yeah, that's what I thought, we gonna shut this thing down today. Rocsi???
Rocsi: What's up, man!
Terrence: Why don't you introduce our first contestant.

Rocsi: Aiight, but first let me go over the rules. KEEP IT CLEAN!!! You can say whatever you want about your opponent, but just don't curse. Even though every video on our show has profanity or sexual innuendo not appropriate for the age of our audience, just don't curse!
Terrence: That's right. Each candidate will have 30 seconds to spit their hottest lines. And at the end of the cypher, you, the livest audience on TV will pick the winner.
Rocsi: Right, Right. Let's bring out our first contestant. Coming to the stage hailing from Arkansas in the Dirty, Dirty... Mike Huckabee....

Huckabee: Good afternoon, everybody!
Terrence: Yo, Huck. Check this out, this is 106 and Park, home of the livest audience on TV. Can you get a little crunk today?
Huckabee: I'll try. Yo Yo Yo, what's the deal, BET!!!

Crowd goes wild

Terrence: That's right! Pander like a politician!
Rocsi: What's pander mean, Terrence?
Terrence: Don't worry about. Just sit there and look cute. Aiight, Mike, you got 30 seconds to spit your platform. DJ - drop that beat.

Beat drops.

Mike: Yo, Yo, I'm bout to rip this, son.

Yo, I'm Mike Huckabee from Arkansas.
I'm bout the dopest candidate that you heard thus far.
And I do get better, the voice gets wetter
She cant have no abortion, cuz I wont let her
Do her thing, with an 08 swing
the amendment I write, will take away gay rights.
An economic brainiac/anti immigrant maniac
In full effect, I'm bout to eliminate federal tax

Rocsi: Yo, Yo that was hot. Give it for my man.. I forgot your name, but you ripped it son.
Terrence: Next up, lets bring out my man John Edwards. We running short on time, so DJ just drop the beat.

I'm John Edwards from North Cackalaki
I know you seen my house and you said it looked tacky.
To talk about the middle class when I'm living like a king
But real talk people, that's the American dream
I hear cats talking about Obama or Hilary C
I'm need you all to recognize what's going on with me.
I'm for universal health care on each and every block
But most of all, I wanna get them troops outta Iraq.

Terrence: Times up. That was hot, kid! Let's bring out our next candidate. Who we got Rocsi?
Rocsi: We got another John! John McCain. Is that anything like the guy from Die Hard, Terrence.
Terrence: I thought I told you to just look pretty. That's John McClain, Rocsi. Let's bring out my man.

They say I'm too old to lead, but let me state my case
Remember Reagan? He was like 80 years old in the place
And he did 8 years, and ended the cold war
I know all about that, I was a POW before
So I support the military and wanna protect our borders
And I'm better than that actor from Law and Order
He ain't even show up, why not's beyond me
And don't even get me started on Guilani.
I hope he don't think he got the experience like mine
All he gonna say is 9/11 about 20 more times.

Terrence: Yoooooo!!! It's getting real personal right now. I think we need to go to a commercial, but first lets go to the livest audience for their reaction.
Rocsi: I'm here with the livest audience. Who do you think got the lead so far?

Random audience member: I'd like to give a shout out...
Rocsi: Go head, ma! Kick your shout out!
Random audience member: I'd like to give a shout out to Al Sharpton, oh and my mama and all the juniors at Hawthorne High! Class of 09. WOOOO!!!!

Terrence: Hey, Rocsi! Ask her what she thought of Freestyle Friday?
Rocsi: What's up, Ma? Who's representin' for the '08?
Audience: So far, I gotta give it to McCain. He did the doggone thing!

Terrence: That's what's up! We'll be back after the commercials with more Freestyle Friday. Pay attention, we got Hilary, Barack, Rudy and maybe a surprise or two.

Fade out!

This is getting too long, so I'll finish it up tomorrow. I could have the platforms totally incorrect, so don't go basing your political opinions on this post. I did some research, but not that much. Aiight, I'm out!