My Newest Stalker

For real, I think I got a new stalker. She's hot, yo! I can't even front. Okay, lemme stop before I get myself in trouble. LOL. I'm being stalked by fire...

Last night, on my way home from Florida, just as I crossed over the border with Georgia, I noticed that traffic started slowing down. I was in the slow lane, about to get off the exit to get gas. *sidenote* Why is gas a quarter cheaper in Georgia than Florida? I paid $1.74 right over the border and it was $2.01 no more than 5 miles down the road. *sidenote over* There's usually no traffic on the way home especially when I leave at night. I looked over to my left and I saw a truck, fully engulfed in flames. It was crazy. Then I started to feel the heat from the fire even though I was 3 lanes over with the windows up. I thought it was gonna be like CHiPs when the cars blow up. I was so happy to get off the highway. People were stopping on the highway to take pictures of the fire. Maybe I woulda done that too if I ever got around to buying batteries for my camera, but since I didn't I just kept it moving and watched from the gas station off the exit. I got home around 2:45 to see fire trucks in my apartment complex. Luckily, it doesn't look like anything got burned too badly, but it wasn't exactly a warm (pun intended) welcome home. Then today on my way home from work, there was another vehicle fire, this time on 285.

I think fire is out to get me. One man shouldn't have this many run ins with fire. From burning down Kareem's house, to the fire across the street from my apartment, to another fire in my complex I don't think I wrote about, I'm getting sick of the flames. I need to put my smoke alarm back up.

Burning Down The House pt 2

Click Here for Part One or just scroll down one post.

I was gonna make this Monday's post, but I finished it so I might as well post it....

"Hey, man. Come get me. My house burned down!"

I admit, I didn't believe Kareem when he said that. He and I have that strange sense of humor where we would just say the craziest thing that came to mind. Usually, we were in sync and I could tell when he was joking and vice versa. This time however, I thought he was just bullshitting.

"Man, what's up! I just got home. I'll hit you up later."

"Nah, man! I'm serious. My house burned down."

"Fuckouttahere, man! It's too early for this shit."

"Seriously, Rashan! My shit burned down. I had to hop out the window butt ass naked"

"Damn, you serious... You all right? Where's Chandra?"

"She left a little bit after you guys did."

Then I heard the garbled transmissions from the fire trucks in the background. This nigga wasn't playing at all.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes."

I got up and threw on some clothes, and grabbed an extra set for Kareem. I hopped in the VW Fox and sped out to Kareem's mama's crib in Georgetown. When I got there, I couldn't believe what I saw. The condo was gone. Other than the foundation, there was nothing left to indicate that people once lived there. Kareem was sitting in the back of an ambulance. Thankfully, someone had already given him some clothes. I wasn't trying to know that much about my homeboy. When he saw me pull up, he came over to the car and got in.

"Shit, man. You straight? Did you get burned or something?"

"Just got some smoke inhalation. I couldn't get out the door so I had to break a window, so I got cut a little."

"What happened?"

"Between me and you... were those candles still burning when you left?"

"Damn, I don't know. Did you call Chandra yet?"

"No, you know how she panics. I just want to get outta here."

"You sure it's okay to leave?"

"If anyone asks...there were no candles. Let's ride out."

So we did. I continued to question him and we worked on getting our story straight just in case anyone asked. We sat in front of my grandmother's house for awhile until we were confident that our stories aligned. In between hacking coughs, a result of the smoke inhalation, we decided that if anyone asked I was with Lisa and he was with Chandra the previous night, but he went home alone. We decided to skip the whole candlelight dinner portion of the evening, just in case that was what caused the fire.

We went inside and told everyone what happened. My mother cried a little. My grandmother prayed over us. And then he had to call his mom. I couldn't bear to hear that conversation so I went in another room and watched TV. Tupac and Dr. Dre's California Love video premiered that day and they were showing it every hour on MTV. It's totally unrelated to the story, except for the fact that I think of the fire whenever I hear that song. Kareem stayed with us for about a week, wearing my clothes and even hanging out while I went to school and work.

We talked to Lisa and Chandra, and neither of them could remember definitively if the candles were still burning when we left. For all we knew it wasn't our fault that the house burned down. It could have been faulty wiring, or the lights on the Christmas tree could have shorted out. Shit, Kareem might have left the oven on after cooking our dinner. We honestly didn't know. But in our hearts, we really thought it was those damn candles. The same candles that set the mood and added to the ambiance of our perfect evening were more than likely responsible for the destruction of their home.

Months later, the official insurance report blamed faulty wiring for the blaze. Due to the extent of the fire, they really couldn't tell what caused it, so they paid the settlement. Kareem's mom got a bigger house, but we still lived with the guilt that we may have been responsible for setting the blaze. I don't think Kareem's mom trusted him for years after that. If she suspected anything, she never said anything to me about it, but I could just tell in the way she interacted with Kareem that something was different. Along with the fire, all trust went up in flames too. We tried to do something nice for our girlfriends and ended up with a burnt down condo.

Burning Down The House pt 1

Here's another one of my reminiscing ass stories. I'll try to wrap this one up in two parts. It still counts as posting every day. Let's set the scene..

New Years Eve - Savannah, Georgia 1995

My homeboy Kareem and I decided that we would do something special for our ladies on New Years. I was 21 at the time and was dating Lisa. Kareem was with Chandra. We both were in pretty much committed relationships and feeling pretty grown up. The only problem was although we felt grown up, we both were poor college students living at home. This year, however, the problem was solved as Kareem's mother was in Atlanta visiting family. This meant that for pretty much the entire Christmas break, we had the crib to ourselves. We didn't get wild with it, but daily Madden tournaments and loud rap music were on the menu everyday. During one of our games, we came up with the idea of candlelight dinner, champagne and slow music for our sweethearts. Kareem was the chef, and I was working so I bought the food and liquor.

On this night, I got off of work at 7:30, and went home and showered and put on some grown man clothes. Well, what passed for grown man clothes for a 21 year old hip hop head who didn't go to church so had no ties. I threw on some creased slacks and a nice conservative sweater that didn't say FUBU or Karl Kani on it. I was looking clean if I say so myself. I drove across town to pick up Lisa, who had no idea what we had in store for the evening. I purposely withheld the details, and yet somehow managed to convince her to skip church that night, even though her mom wanted her to go. When we got to Kareem's crib, Chandra was already there and it was time to start our evening.

It was a real cool scene. Kareem had decked the place out with candles, scented ones he "borrowed" from his mother, and others just for dramatic lighting effect. One of our patented mixtape collaborations was playing on the stereo. Dinner was served and we had good conversation and sipped some cheap bubbly (well except for Lisa, who couldn't drink because of her anti seizure medicine. That's another story I need to tell one day.) Other than a minor mishap with the cork, (we never drank that kind of liquor) everything was lovely. After dinner, we headed downtown to watch the Peach drop on River Street. We walked hand in hand, and even had some out of the ordinary public displays of affection happening. Everything about that night exuded love and romance.

After the festivities downtown, we went back to Kareem's house. We had some more conversation and champagne, and after awhile Kareem and Chandra excused themselves and went in the back. Lisa and I went to Kareem's room to umm.. "sleep" on the water bed. It was some of the best "sleep" that we had. After we "slept" we fell asleep and woke up around 8 in the morning. We got dressed and I took Lisa back to her sister's house, then went home to crash. I took a shower and was sleep for about 30 minutes when the phone call came. I remember it like it was yesterday. At 9:42 AM on January 1st, 2006, the phone startled me out of my REM sleep. It was Kareem.

"Hey, man. Come get me. My house burned down!"

The Roof (and everything else) Is On Fire!!!

This fire happened right across the way from my crib. This was about 5pm, and the fire trucks are still out here now at 2 in the morning. Luckily for me, the fire didn't make it all the way across the fence, but it was touch and go for a minute. I'll be back to tell the story as long as my computer doesn't melt in the middle of the night.