Hungry as a Hostage

That's one of our old sayings... Me and Kareem always used to come up with new ways of saying stuff.

As you know, because I been writing about it all damn week, I been sick. I had a fever and I was so congested that I couldn't taste anything. As a result, I may have forgotten to eat for the last two days. Now, I feel good and I am hungry as a hostage. You ever been so hungry that you can't decide what to eat because everything sounds good. That's how I feel right now. I have to eat with this medicine I got today, but I just can't decide what to eat.

I don't know if I want breakfast ( I could make some grits and turkey bacon) or lunch (I could go get me one of those burgers from Burger Joes), but I know I need to eat something right now. I could always go to my old standby and get a tuna sub from Subway. You can't go wrong with that. Ooh, I know I can go to Raging Burrito and get some Mexican food. Nah, I don't feel like waiting for them. I know, I can get some teriyaki wings from the spot around the corner. Or a Philly cheese steak...So many choices...

I'm not good with choices. I'm hungry as a hostage, but I can't decide what to eat. I'll probably wind up having some oatmeal or something boring like that. This sucks!

This Is Why I'm Hot

I'm hot because I got a 101 fever right now. I feel crazy as hell. I got a doctor's appointment tomorrow and hopefully they will give me some good drugs to knock this stuff outta my system. I'm still going to work, but I'm isolating myself from everybody. They are gonna have to hit me up on IM if they need me.

I had some weird fever induced dreams this morning. I dreamt that I was hanging out with several bloggers (some that I don't even know what they look like) and we were at a shooting range. After a short time of shooting at the targets, someone had the bright idea of shooting at each other. It was crazy. Bullets were flying in slow motion like in The Matrix. Cats was hopping around like Ninjas. One blogger even looked like Jessica Alba in "Dark Angel" (I'm probably the only one that used to watch that.)

Later, we were all hanging out at the base of a volcano when it started to erupt. It was nuts. People were melting and shit. I touched the lava with my bare finger though and didn't get burned. All of a sudden helicopters arrived and threw ladders to help us escape. So, as we are flying above the erupting volcano hanging on to the ladder, more ninjas showed up and started throwing Chinese stars at us. A couple people fell into the volcano but I was able to get away.I know this makes no sense but that's what a fever will do to you.

Okay, I guess I should be doing some work instead of blogging. My temp has gone down to 99.8, so that's a good thing. Sorry for not visiting your blogs, but I've been under the weather. Have a good rest of your day and I'll get with you tomorrow.

Don't Speak

How can I stop people from revealing way too much information to me. Here is the latest example of a conversation that I tried to avoid. Yesterday, at work. I'm feeling like crap, but I'm soldiering through. I'm getting ready to go to lunch when this female co worker stops me.

"I think I have to leave"

"Okay, what's wrong? You sick or something?"

"Yeah, I had surgery last week..."

"Okay, let me stop you right there. I don't need to know. Let's just go talk to a manager so you can leave."

"My surgery was for..."

"Stop, I don't need to know."

"I had surgery for.."

"Really, its none of my business. I don't want to know. Just go talk to Kim ( manager on duty)

"I had surgery last week...

"Seriously, I don't want to know."

"I had surgery on my ovaries last week. I'm taking some hormones and I'm not reacting well to it."

"God, I really didn't need to know that."

"I can't hardly focus. I don't know where I am right now."

"So, you can't focus, but you want to drive home? Do you have someone to come get you?"

"I had surgery last week..."

"Yeah, we established that... Can you please go talk to Kim? I can't give you permission to leave. Just tell her what's up.

"Okay, but I had surgery last week on my ovaries. And I'm taking these hormone pills...

"Yeah, don't tell me. Go see Kim. Come on, I'll go with you"

People just tell me too much. I tried to shut it down, but short of just gagging her, I dont know what else I could have done.

Crap

That's what I feel like today. I woke up this morning and couldn't move right. I was walking very geriatrically to the bathroom. I looked like Fred Sanford or something. I got mad aches and pains, and I feel like I do when I have a fever, but I don't have one. The only time I felt right was when I was taking my 30 minute shower (sorry, drought I had to do it.) As soon as I got out, I was right back to being an old man walking.

To make it worse, I had to go to work today since my manager is gone all week at a management training session and the team would be lost without me. That's not being cocky, that's just being real. I'm gonna try to make it through and knowing me, I'll feel much better tomorrow. But I am really dreading walking up these steps today. I already feel light headed, I hope I don't fall out at work, that would suck. LOL

If you can't tell, I'm a big huge giant baby when I'm sick. Please heaps loads of sympathy upon my aching back and shoulders. LOL

Seriously?

This is my latest take on the obligatory random thoughts post. Just some stuff that made me say "Seriously?" I'm just venting about some stuff, but it's really all good.



Seriously? You really just sniffed me? I mean nostrils flaring, wide open sniff? It's Issey Miyake. Next time just ask. Don't try to go bloodhound on me.



Seriously? You gonna be gone for a week? And you expect everything to run smoothly? Did you really just say that to me like it was my responsibility? When did I get in charge? And while we're at it, do you plan to tell the rest of the team or is it a surprise?



Seriously? You taking 5 minutes at the ATM? What the hell are you doing for so long? I just wanna take out $100 and buy me some drinks, but instead I'm stuck behind you doing God knows what. I done listened to half of a George Clinton song waiting on your slow ass, and you know them shits is like 18 minutes each. Hurry yo ass up!



Seriously? Three back to back text messages? Who the hell do you think you are? Who do the hell do you think I am? I'm not your man, so can you please adjust your tone? All caps means yelling and I just know you ain't yelling at me.



Seriously? You expect me to believe that y'all ain't fucking? Come on, what am I stupid, blind and delusional. I have had plenty of female friends and I know the signs. That shit ain't just platonic.



Seriously? You gonna lose to the Rams? Come on, Falcons!



Seriously? You gonna tell that lie to me? My bullshit-o-meter was going off as soon as you opened your mouth. I am a far better liar than you will ever be. You know that saying "it takes one to know one?" Well I am one, albeit a recovering one. That was just mad obvious.



Seriously? You got a high top fade? What year is this? Okay, I'm a little jealous that I didn't do it first. I said I was gonna bring it back, but I didn't actually have the guts to go through with it. But your joint doesn't look like nostalgia, it looks like you been rocking a box for the last 15 years.



Seriously? You gonna ride that scooter? Do you realize that you are 300 pounds and you just look silly as hell on that lil ass bike? I don't know you, but if I did, I would tell you that you look like you are gonna break that thing. Either get a car, or catch the bus like a normal person.



Seriously? You lose by 50 points and try to act like its no big deal. Isaih, come on now. Please . There is no reason an NBA team should get beat by another NBA team that badly. I can't wait until you get fired.



Seriously? You gonna get mad at me because I don't want a cupcake? I can see if you slaved over a hot oven and made some homemade shit, but you bought these at Kroger. The price tag is still on the box. Maybe I'm on a diet. Maybe I'm diabetic. Shit, maybe I just don't want one. How can you possibly take this so personally.



Seriously? You gotta man so why you worrying bout me. I'm oh so single and I can talk to whoever I want. Try directing some of that wasted energy on your relationship rather than trying to be all up in my business. Then maybe your man wouldn't be out cutting up all them random chicken heads and you would have less time to wonder about who I'm dealing with. By the way, you are wrong anyway.



Seriously? You crying? Because of what I said? I know I say some slick shit sometimes, but ain't no reason to break down in tears. I told you what the deal was upfront so why you trying to act like you didn't know. Maybe if you would listen to what I was saying, I wouldn't have to say it in mean manner. Maybe if you would accept my words at face value instead of trying to read something into it, you wouldn't need those Kleenex. I'm just saying, this ain't nothing new. And don't expect me to apologize because I meant that shit. In fact, you should be happy that it took me this long to say it like that.



Seriously? You think I'm gonna do the Cupid Shuffle? Have you met me? Didn't we have this conversation about the Cha Cha Slide a couple of years ago. Did I not tell you that organized dancing irks the shit outta me? Do you remember when I told you that there will be no Electric Slide, Bus Stop, Line Dancing shit going on? Not gonna happen.



Seriously? You talking to my man, but giving me the eye? You think that your cute little dimples are gonna make me forget that my homeboy is trying to get at you? Okay, well you may be right. I don't really know that dude that well. I'll take your number, but don't tell him. LOL



Seriously? You ear hustling our conversation that hard? I'm just saying, some times at a bar people will use bad words. Sometimes, there will be Rated R conversations. May I suggest if it offends you that you stop listening? Or maybe go to the Christian bar that has yet to be invented. Get up out of our shit.



Seriously? You just wrote an entire post using the word seriously? What are you, a teenage white girl? You really need to stop watching Grey's Anatomy cuz its rubbing off on you. That shit ain't hip hop, kid.



What or who has made you ask "Seriously?" lately?

Jameil, You Win!

I can't keep posting I don't have anything left to talk about. I suppose I could make up some nothing post just to keep it going, but I won't do that. You are more prolific than I. I admit it, Now can I settle into a nice M-F blogging routine again?

Wait a minute! This counts as Sunday's post, so I'm still in the game. LOL

I'm playing, I'm not gonna do it like that. Let me tell you what I did this weekend.

Friday, I went to get some dranks (intentionally misspelled) at Dave and Busters. I had accidentally told Work Stalker where I was going, so I was on the lookout all night to see if she was gonna show up. Thank goodness, she didn't show up (unless she was watching me from the back). I had a couple of Tanqueray and Tonics (Thanks for the suggestion, Jam!) and a couple of shots too. We had strange conversations about strip clubs and oral sex amongst other things. It was cool. I had a good time. After that I was starving so we hit up Fridays for a little bite to eat and then I went home. I actually was sleep by 1 in the morning, which was cool, until I woke up at 7 in the morning.

Saturday, I already told you I was babysitting, but before that I got up with a friend I hadn't seen in a few months and we went to lunch. It was cool, but brief. She seems to be over my sarcasm though. LOL I intended to do some Christmas shopping but the crowds forced me into retreating back to my cave and doing online shopping. I just wasn't feeling the traffic or the people. It actually turned out better, since I found everything I was looking for on Amazon.com. I have one more gift to buy, and then I'm done!

Sunday, I'm here at work doing nothing. Sunday is my chill day at work, where I do nothing but blog and have work inappropriate conversations with my coworkers. Well, the first part of the day, I actually had to do some work since they had me training someone. I have a couple hours left to do nothing though, so I decided to keep the posting everyday thing intact.

Now, I'm off to join that conversation that I overhear right now about stalkers. I have a lot to add to that topic. LOL Be easy!

Me and My Shadow

I couldn't let Jameil outdo me. If she's gonna keep posting, then so will I.

Right now as I type this, my nephew is sleep in my arms. I'm watching while my sister takes a well deserved night out. I did go out on Friday, just in case you were wondering.

Little man is like my shadow. Whatever I do, he does. I was brushing my teeth, and he says "I want teet." I was brushing my hair, and he grabbed another brush and started brushing his. I put on my shoes, he put on another pair of my shoes and started walking around. It's so cute.
We play this little game where he hits me and I say "Ouch" in an animated manner. Then he cracks the hell up. I'll probably have to stop that one soon, since he's getting older and I don't want to encourage him to be a bully, but for now if it makes him happy, it makes me happy.

Now, he did one thing that wasn't cute. He grabbed my cheeks and dug in with his fingernails. He scratched me on my pretty, pretty face. I mean, it was so bad that I actually had blood on my face. Wanna see? You can barely see it in the 1st picture, but he tore the skin off my face. Here are Uncle Rashan and his shadow.