The BET Presidential Debate '08
Okay, I know I took a couple of days off from the blog, but I'm back. In fact it was just a weekend, the hell am I apologizing for. LOL. Here is another one from the insanity that goes on in my head. I'm watching the news and hear that everybody got a debate. MySpace, YouTube, FaceBook... What if BET had a debate? What if the election was like a rap beef? What if instead of saying nothing during the debates, the candidates actually said some real shit? What if they had a rap battle? Follow me, cuz I know it already sounds strange, but keep reading anyway...
The BET Presidential Debate '08
Terrence: Welcome to 106 and Park home of the livest audience! I'm Terrence and this is my cohost Rocsi.
Rocsi: What's up, ya'll! Ya'll ready to get live?
Audience screams.
Terrence: Aiight, that's what I'm talking about. Today we have a big show for you. We have new music from Bow Wow, a flashback video from Ja Rule and today we gonna do something new for you.
Rocsi: What we gonna do? What we gonna do?
Terrence: First of all, you have no idea how big this is!
Rocsi: How big is it, man?
Terrence: It's so big that I don't even know how to explain how big it is.
Rocsi: Tell 'em son. Tell em what's the deal.
Terrence: Son, today on this stage we have The 106 and Park Presidential Debates!!!
Audience doesn't react...
Rocsi: I'm saying... we got all the candidates in the house. Barack, Hilary, Guiliani.. I'm saying all of them.
Audience doesn't react.
Terrence: Aiight, Aiight. You know we do it real big here on 106 and Park.
Rocsi: No doubt.
Terrence: We ain't just got the candidates...
Rocsi: Word?
Terrence: Word! Today the candidates are gonna debate... in Freestyle Friday!!!
Audience goes wild.
Terrence: Yeah, that's what I thought, we gonna shut this thing down today. Rocsi???
Rocsi: What's up, man!
Terrence: Why don't you introduce our first contestant.
Rocsi: Aiight, but first let me go over the rules. KEEP IT CLEAN!!! You can say whatever you want about your opponent, but just don't curse. Even though every video on our show has profanity or sexual innuendo not appropriate for the age of our audience, just don't curse!
Terrence: That's right. Each candidate will have 30 seconds to spit their hottest lines. And at the end of the cypher, you, the livest audience on TV will pick the winner.
Rocsi: Right, Right. Let's bring out our first contestant. Coming to the stage hailing from Arkansas in the Dirty, Dirty... Mike Huckabee....
Huckabee: Good afternoon, everybody!
Terrence: Yo, Huck. Check this out, this is 106 and Park, home of the livest audience on TV. Can you get a little crunk today?
Huckabee: I'll try. Yo Yo Yo, what's the deal, BET!!!
Crowd goes wild
Terrence: That's right! Pander like a politician!
Rocsi: What's pander mean, Terrence?
Terrence: Don't worry about. Just sit there and look cute. Aiight, Mike, you got 30 seconds to spit your platform. DJ - drop that beat.
Beat drops.
Mike: Yo, Yo, I'm bout to rip this, son.
Yo, I'm Mike Huckabee from Arkansas.
I'm bout the dopest candidate that you heard thus far.
And I do get better, the voice gets wetter
She cant have no abortion, cuz I wont let her
Do her thing, with an 08 swing
the amendment I write, will take away gay rights.
An economic brainiac/anti immigrant maniac
In full effect, I'm bout to eliminate federal tax
Rocsi: Yo, Yo that was hot. Give it for my man.. I forgot your name, but you ripped it son.
Terrence: Next up, lets bring out my man John Edwards. We running short on time, so DJ just drop the beat.
I'm John Edwards from North Cackalaki
I know you seen my house and you said it looked tacky.
To talk about the middle class when I'm living like a king
But real talk people, that's the American dream
I hear cats talking about Obama or Hilary C
I'm need you all to recognize what's going on with me.
I'm for universal health care on each and every block
But most of all, I wanna get them troops outta Iraq.
Terrence: Times up. That was hot, kid! Let's bring out our next candidate. Who we got Rocsi?
Rocsi: We got another John! John McCain. Is that anything like the guy from Die Hard, Terrence.
Terrence: I thought I told you to just look pretty. That's John McClain, Rocsi. Let's bring out my man.
They say I'm too old to lead, but let me state my case
Remember Reagan? He was like 80 years old in the place
And he did 8 years, and ended the cold war
I know all about that, I was a POW before
So I support the military and wanna protect our borders
And I'm better than that actor from Law and Order
He ain't even show up, why not's beyond me
And don't even get me started on Guilani.
I hope he don't think he got the experience like mine
All he gonna say is 9/11 about 20 more times.
Terrence: Yoooooo!!! It's getting real personal right now. I think we need to go to a commercial, but first lets go to the livest audience for their reaction.
Rocsi: I'm here with the livest audience. Who do you think got the lead so far?
Random audience member: I'd like to give a shout out...
Rocsi: Go head, ma! Kick your shout out!
Random audience member: I'd like to give a shout out to Al Sharpton, oh and my mama and all the juniors at Hawthorne High! Class of 09. WOOOO!!!!
Terrence: Hey, Rocsi! Ask her what she thought of Freestyle Friday?
Rocsi: What's up, Ma? Who's representin' for the '08?
Audience: So far, I gotta give it to McCain. He did the doggone thing!
Terrence: That's what's up! We'll be back after the commercials with more Freestyle Friday. Pay attention, we got Hilary, Barack, Rudy and maybe a surprise or two.
Fade out!
This is getting too long, so I'll finish it up tomorrow. I could have the platforms totally incorrect, so don't go basing your political opinions on this post. I did some research, but not that much. Aiight, I'm out!
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