Thursday, March 27, 2008

Making The Blog Pt 7

I'm too lazy to link all 6 previous posts, just take a look at the label "Making the Blog" for the previous posts.


Rashan (VoiceOver): Confessions… It just got hot up in here. I read things I didn’t expect to hear. I know I asked for it , but I didn’t think they would come that hard! I don’t know how I can cut anybody after that display. They all represented. Let’s see what happens

New Scene: The bloggers are hanging around outside the mansion in the pool area. It’s a warm spring day, so they are in shorts and short sleeved shirts. Jameil is standing next to the grill with her plate waiting for a burger. Desy and Dejanae are dancing and drinking Kremas. The other bloggers are scattered around the yard and swimming pool. The Cha Cha slide plays in the background. Enter Jizzy!

Rashan: What is that? Who playing the Cha Cha Slide in my crib?

Tom Gurl: Technically, we outside the crib.

Rashan: For real, didn’t I just tell y’all bout my smirk. Well take a good look. I’m tripping on this right here.

Diva: Just cuz you can’t dance…

Rashan: I can dance. Didn’t you see me doing the wop, the other day?

Monie: Okay, Okay… we’ll turn it off. Please just don’t dance again.

Rashan: Thanks Monie, *winks* Everybody gather round…

The bloggers gather round Jizzy who is standing on a picnic table.

Confessional:
Magnolia: He had to stand on that table so we can see his wee tail. He’s a short little dude, probably why he tries so hard to be hard.

Resume Scene:

Rashan: Ay, yo! Is everybody here? Where’s Eps?

Everybody looks around

Rashan: Jameil, what’s going on with your team? I don’t accept this tardiness.

Jameil: Where’s the fries, son? You can’t have a burger without the fries.

Rashan: Worry about your frust later Jam. One of your team members ain't here. Jizzy don't like that.

Eps comes running in adjusting his locs...

Eps: Sorry I'm late, Jizzy. But I had a good reason. I just don't wanna talk about it now.

Rashan: Excuse me? It sounded like you were just late and then had the nerve to not even come up with a reason. What's the deal, son? We don;t roll like that on Making The Blog...

Eps: For real, I don't wanna talk about it.

Eps storms off with a mean mug on his face.

Rashan: Jameil, can you handle that for me? Thanks.

Jameil: I got it... people are soooo extra.

Rashan: Now the rest of you...I read all your confessions. I have to say that I'm disappointed...

Confessional:
Stace: What more can he want? I got gangsta with my confession. I know he can't be trippin on me.

Resume Scene

Rashan: That's right. I'm mad disappointed, son! Disappointed I didn't make ya'll do that earlier. Them confessions was on point, yo!

Confessional:
Dejanae: His bootleg ass didn't scare me with that bootleg suspense. I'm saying, he wasn't gonna kick me off this bootleg blog. That would be bootleg.

Diva: Team Diva represented, didn't they?

Rashan: No, doubt. I gotta shout out 3 of y'all especially for putting it all out there. Stace, La and X? You guys really did it big. If I was a nicer blog master, you would be exempt from the next assignment. But, I'm mean, so you still have to do it...

Confessional:
X Factor - Ooooh, he makes me sick. I should have at least gotten a free pass for my confession.

Resume Scene:

Rashan: Team Jameil, what's up? Team Diva kinda wiped the floor with you. What happened?

Desy: They just some freaks, that's all. I don't have stories like that. I'm a virgin.

Rashan: I'm saying you guys did do some confessions, but they were kinda sanitized. I need bloggers that are gonna just put it all out there.

The Goddess: As I recall, your confession wasn't even your confession. How can you talk about us like that?

Rashan: Here we go again. The Goddess always talking like this is a democracy. It's not, this is a Jizzocracy. Not that I have to explain myself, but I did 2 confessions. Wasn't yours late, too?

Jameil reenters the room...

Rashan: What's up with Eps?

Jameil: You are sooo not gonna believe this, but his confession post got him arrested.

Rashan: Word? Where's he at now?

Jameil: There he is...

Eps reenters...

Eps: You got me arrested Jizzy! Had me confessing my crimes and the popo read about it and brought me in for questioning. I had to tell them it was fiction.

Rashan: You made it up?

Eps: Nah, but that's the only way they would let me go. I ain't messing with you no more, Jizzy!

Rashan: You made it to the next round, homey! Now go get you a drink and cool out.

Confessional:
Rashan: Damn, I ain't mean to get nobody locked up. I was just nosy. I knew I shoulda told them to use the word allegedly.

Tom Gurl - That was messed up. I hope they don't come after me for my confession. I was just a kid stealing.

Resume Scene:

Jameil: So, I hear you've been talking about my squad. It's not our fault that Team Diva is all about sex. There are other things to write about.

Rashan: You're right, but come on... Team Diva represented in this battle. And since Jizzy has declared them the winner of the confession competition, Diva gets to pick the next assignment.

Diva: Oh snap... okay, give me a minute to think of something....

Rashan: We'll meet back here in an hour. Everybody enjoy the food and drink but don't get too twisted cuz you are gonna have homework tonight. Go have some fun, get your blue black tan on, you've earned it.

New Scene:
La, Stace and X Factor are at a picnic table drinking. Caesar approaches.

Cannon: Whats good, ladies! Can Cannon rap with you for a minute?

La: Uhh, yeah sure why not.

Cannon - I read your posts and I'm just wondering if any of you need a fix right now. I could stick it in you real quick.

X Factor: The f*ck did you just say to me? Get yo young ass outta here!

Cannon: I'm saying I wont think you a smut jawn or nothing. We all grown, right?

Stace: I think you better go now.

Confessional:
Cannon: Man, I can't f*ckin beleive they fronted on your boy like that. I'm saying I read the blogs. I know what you all about.

La: I can't even get mad. At least he knows what he wants...He aint gonna get it, but at least he ain't a punk about it.

Resume Scene: Pocahontaz, Desy, Dejanae and Monie are talking while sitting by the pool.

Monie: So what do you guys think of Jizzy? I like the way his mind works.

Desy: Jizzy is an ass...Rashan is cool though.

Dejanae: He got a bootleg smart mouth. He's always saying something smart. He's a little strange...and I like it.

Pocahontaz: I like his lips.

Jizzy walks up and the women stop talking...

Rashan: What? Were you guys talking bout me? My spidey sense was going off...

Desy: Not everything is about you, ya know?

Dejanae: I'm grimacing at how concieted you are.

Monie: We were just having girl talk. Nothing much...

Rashan: Aiight then. I can take a hint. I'm out.

The ladies start laughing as Jizzy self consciously looks over his shoulder.

New Scene: R Jizzy is standing on the table again commanding attention. He stumbles a little, but plays it off.

Rashan: Okay gather round. I turn the floor over to one of my illustrious team captains... Opinionated Diva!

Diva: Thanks Jizzy. Your assignment is to write a post called "If I Ruled The Blog World."

THIS IS A REAL ASSIGNMENT. ALL MY MTB BLOGGERS SHOULD WRITE THIS POST!!! ANYBODY ELSE THAT WANTS TO GET IN ON THE FUN IS WELCOME TOO!

Confessional
Pocahontaz: That's my girl right there. Diva came up with a helluva idea...

Resume Scene: Nas and Lauryn Hill "If I Ruled The World" plays in the background.

Diva: The goal of this post is to tell us what you would do if you were in charge. What would you keep? What would you get rid of? Basically, the Blog World is yours to shape and mold. What would you do?

Jameil: Okay, I've already done something like this, so that means I'm exempt right?

Rashan: Team captains don't have to do it, but I think it would be very entertaining. I'm even gonna jump on this and come up with a post as well. Great idea, Diva.

Diva: Of course! Team Diva always shines. *gives side eye to Jameil*

Jameil: We'll see. You know I like to win. You don't remember how I crushed Jizzy in the consecutive posting contest? You can be next, Diva... Oooh, fries!!!

Jameil gets distracted by some french fries, so Jizzy takes over.

Rashan: Anybody got any questions? Good, then hop to it. We'll reconvene on Tuesday. As much as I dig you guys, eventually I'm gonna have to make some cuts. Keep that in mind while writing your posts. Peace!

Commercial Break