Seriously?

This is my latest take on the obligatory random thoughts post. Just some stuff that made me say "Seriously?" I'm just venting about some stuff, but it's really all good.



Seriously? You really just sniffed me? I mean nostrils flaring, wide open sniff? It's Issey Miyake. Next time just ask. Don't try to go bloodhound on me.



Seriously? You gonna be gone for a week? And you expect everything to run smoothly? Did you really just say that to me like it was my responsibility? When did I get in charge? And while we're at it, do you plan to tell the rest of the team or is it a surprise?



Seriously? You taking 5 minutes at the ATM? What the hell are you doing for so long? I just wanna take out $100 and buy me some drinks, but instead I'm stuck behind you doing God knows what. I done listened to half of a George Clinton song waiting on your slow ass, and you know them shits is like 18 minutes each. Hurry yo ass up!



Seriously? Three back to back text messages? Who the hell do you think you are? Who do the hell do you think I am? I'm not your man, so can you please adjust your tone? All caps means yelling and I just know you ain't yelling at me.



Seriously? You expect me to believe that y'all ain't fucking? Come on, what am I stupid, blind and delusional. I have had plenty of female friends and I know the signs. That shit ain't just platonic.



Seriously? You gonna lose to the Rams? Come on, Falcons!



Seriously? You gonna tell that lie to me? My bullshit-o-meter was going off as soon as you opened your mouth. I am a far better liar than you will ever be. You know that saying "it takes one to know one?" Well I am one, albeit a recovering one. That was just mad obvious.



Seriously? You got a high top fade? What year is this? Okay, I'm a little jealous that I didn't do it first. I said I was gonna bring it back, but I didn't actually have the guts to go through with it. But your joint doesn't look like nostalgia, it looks like you been rocking a box for the last 15 years.



Seriously? You gonna ride that scooter? Do you realize that you are 300 pounds and you just look silly as hell on that lil ass bike? I don't know you, but if I did, I would tell you that you look like you are gonna break that thing. Either get a car, or catch the bus like a normal person.



Seriously? You lose by 50 points and try to act like its no big deal. Isaih, come on now. Please . There is no reason an NBA team should get beat by another NBA team that badly. I can't wait until you get fired.



Seriously? You gonna get mad at me because I don't want a cupcake? I can see if you slaved over a hot oven and made some homemade shit, but you bought these at Kroger. The price tag is still on the box. Maybe I'm on a diet. Maybe I'm diabetic. Shit, maybe I just don't want one. How can you possibly take this so personally.



Seriously? You gotta man so why you worrying bout me. I'm oh so single and I can talk to whoever I want. Try directing some of that wasted energy on your relationship rather than trying to be all up in my business. Then maybe your man wouldn't be out cutting up all them random chicken heads and you would have less time to wonder about who I'm dealing with. By the way, you are wrong anyway.



Seriously? You crying? Because of what I said? I know I say some slick shit sometimes, but ain't no reason to break down in tears. I told you what the deal was upfront so why you trying to act like you didn't know. Maybe if you would listen to what I was saying, I wouldn't have to say it in mean manner. Maybe if you would accept my words at face value instead of trying to read something into it, you wouldn't need those Kleenex. I'm just saying, this ain't nothing new. And don't expect me to apologize because I meant that shit. In fact, you should be happy that it took me this long to say it like that.



Seriously? You think I'm gonna do the Cupid Shuffle? Have you met me? Didn't we have this conversation about the Cha Cha Slide a couple of years ago. Did I not tell you that organized dancing irks the shit outta me? Do you remember when I told you that there will be no Electric Slide, Bus Stop, Line Dancing shit going on? Not gonna happen.



Seriously? You talking to my man, but giving me the eye? You think that your cute little dimples are gonna make me forget that my homeboy is trying to get at you? Okay, well you may be right. I don't really know that dude that well. I'll take your number, but don't tell him. LOL



Seriously? You ear hustling our conversation that hard? I'm just saying, some times at a bar people will use bad words. Sometimes, there will be Rated R conversations. May I suggest if it offends you that you stop listening? Or maybe go to the Christian bar that has yet to be invented. Get up out of our shit.



Seriously? You just wrote an entire post using the word seriously? What are you, a teenage white girl? You really need to stop watching Grey's Anatomy cuz its rubbing off on you. That shit ain't hip hop, kid.



What or who has made you ask "Seriously?" lately?