Having A Bad Day

Tuesday was a jacked up day for me. It started out pretty well. Work was slow. Had tons of meetings that kept me away from any real work, but then lunch came. I started not to even move my car from the garage because it was crazy hot, and I was already sweating. But I did it anyway. When I got in the car, the leather seats were blazing, and my glasses immediately fogged up. Sweat poured from my forehead, and trickled down into my eyes, causing an uncomfortable stinging feeling. As I was pulling into the parking spot, I wiped the sweat from my eyes and bammed right into a Honda Civic. Yes, your boy hit a parked car. How careless could I be? It didn't even really cross my mind to do the wrong thing. I went to the security desk so they could find the owner of the car I hit. We filled out an incident report, then waited for the police to come. Did I mention that it was 95 degrees? Yeah, I was out in the heat, sweating like a slave. Then I had to call my insurance company and tell them what was what. After that ordeal I was a little miffed, but still okay.

Later that day, I hit the ATM that's in the dining area of the cafeteria. I pulled out my $40, and walked away. Yep, I left the card in the machine, yo! What the hell was wrong with me today? Since the machine is not attached to an actual bank, I couldn't get anyone to open the ATM to get my card either, so I'm gonna be without it for a few days. Son of a... I was just done. I was supposed to stay late to make up the hour that I missed handling business after the crash, but after that I was just like "eff it. I'm outta here."

I came home in a bad mood today. I don't like the feeling, but it doesn't usually last long. I just need some time to wallow and then I get over it. I don't think people understand that about me. Maybe because it doesn't happen regularly, people can't figure out how to take me. When I'm in a bad mood, I just want to be in a bad mood until it goes away. Cheering me up doesn't really cheer me up. Its nothing personal, its just part of my process. I'm having a bad day. I think I'm entitled to one once every couple of months. I'll be okay tomorrow. Hours of old school hip hop on YouTube is helping.

Random

What kind of sense does it make to comment on an news/sports article by saying “who cares?” – Obviously you care or you wouldn’t have taken the time not only to read it, but to comment on it.

Now that the American Idol dude has come out, does that mean that he is going to sing songs overtly to dudes? Will he change “Mandy” to “Andy?”

Would you listen to that? If not, does that make you homophobic?

That reminds me of an old school joke me and Kareem used to have about Luther Vandross. We changed the lyrics to “Don’t you remember you told me loved me, Larry?”

I read an article about a grandfather that killed his grandson b/c he dropped his watermelon. Do you know how glad I was that he wasn’t black? Feel like I dodged a bullet there.

Anonymous sources irk me. I think unless it’s a matter of life and death, if you say something, you should be man or woman enough to stand by it.

I think women that fake rape cases should have to register as sex offenders. They make it so much tougher for real victims.

Is anybody else disturbed that Hurricane Chris’ song “Halle Berry” is about a woman old enough to be his mother? I looked it up, she’s 43 and he’s 19.

I got bored the other day and shaved my head. Apparently I missed a few spots and was looking crazy for a day.

My job blocked Yahoo email yesterday. I wonder how long before Facebook and Blogger get blocked. Hopefully, at least one of them will stay available.

I didn’t have anything to write about, so I just started writing random thoughts and now I have a post. Hopefully, certain people won’t be harassing me in my comments about its time to post again. LOL

Southpaw

I’ve always thought of myself as a lefty. I throw with my left hand, punch with my left hand, I would write with my left hand if my 3rd grade teacher didn’t switch me to righty. My left arm is significantly stronger than my right arm (or as Jameil calls it, my lame arm. LOL) But I didn’t realize until this weekend, how much I depend on both of my arms.

When I left work on Friday, my right shoulder was hurting. No big deal, but I couldn’t figure out why. That’s neither here nor there. As the night progressed, however, the pain was getting worse. It felt like the shoulder was dislocated or something. I could hardly move my right arm, forget about lifting it over my head or picking anything up. My range of motion was severely impacted by the shoulder pain.

The worst part of it, other than the ridiculous amount of pain, was that I just realized how much I actually use my right arm. I hold my fork in my right hand, but that’s no problem, I could use my left for that. But taking a shower? I felt all out of sorts trying to wash with my left arm. Or buttoning a shirt. It was difficult enough getting my arm in to the sleeve, but trying to button it with no range of motion was nearly impossible. I just rocked a tee shirt. Just pouring a glass of orange juice was messed up. I had to put the glass on the counter, open the container with my left hand, pour the juice, put the oj on the counter, open the refrigerator with my left hand, pick up the oj and put it back in the fridge, then pick up the oj.. again with my left hand. It would have been way easier if I had both arms available to use. Wiping my… never mind you don’t need to know about that. LOL

I also realized that I sleep with my arm under my head, but I couldn’t do that this weekend. Friday, I couldn’t sleep at all, Saturday, I managed a little bit of sleep, but woke up when my shoulder told me that was enough. It was better Sunday, but after 4 hours of sleep, it was a wrap. It feels better when I ice it, and take aleve, but I think I need to go to the doctor to get this checked out. I could live with the pain, but I can’t live without the sleep. The weekend is supposed to be my lazy time. Stupid right shoulder messed that up for me.

Some say I’m negative, but they’re not positive…

What song does that title come from? I doubt any of the people in their 20’s will remember that…

Anyway, I’ve been doing some thinking. Rather, I’ve stopped blocking my thoughts as I usually do. I sometimes don’t like to face the hard truths, even though my brain knows about them. Here is the simple fact: I’ve been becoming more negative lately. I’ve always been a realist, some would say cynical. That’s not a problem for me. I think I see the world as it is, rather than with rose colored glasses. I’m not too far gone to see that although some people are messed up, other people have good, decent or altruistic motives. So, when I say I’m becoming negative, I don’t mean that.

I guess I should just say what I mean. I’ve recently realized that I am extremely proficient in identifying and talking about stuff I don’t like. People, places, things. Its far easier for me to say what’s wrong, than what’s right. I don’t want to be a complainer. I don’t like them (LOL – see I just did it again.) I need to get a positive mindstate. I looked at my draft posts over the last two week period, and 7 out of 10 aborted posts were complainey, or critical. And the thing is I wasn’t complaining about anything big. Just stuff that was getting on my nerves. Either that or I was talking about people. Why spend so much time on the negative? I don’t know, but I think I need to change that.

So starting today, I’m gonna make a conscious effort to not post about annoying people, annoying things or general annoyances unless for comedy purposes. I can’t let it go altogether. I’m gonna try to be more positive and affirm the good for awhile, rather than display the negative. Don’t worry, this isn’t gonna become one of those inspirational blogs. I still don’t like motivational writing (oops, I did it again.) But I just want to try to avoid the negative energy for the time being and see how it works. We’ll see how long I can last.

10 Things I Hate About You

Dedicated to my annoying co worker....

1. You're pretty dumb. You've been working here long enough to know the things that you ask me on a daily basis.

2. Your voice is annoying. I don't know where that accent comes from, but can you give it back?

3. MuthaFu... my name is not Rashad. It's on my name badge, its on my desk, its on my email, my instant messaging. I've told you. Not a "D", an "N".

4. You have the same conversation several times a day. I know the Lakers won. I'm not happy about it either, but it is what it is. No need to rehash it every hour.

5. You think you are an expert in sports, but as far as I can tell you've never picked a winner. Celtics, Rockets, Nuggets, Cleveland.. Its one thing to root for the team, but don't talk big about what's gonna happen, and then come up with excuses once the opposite happens.

6. You be interrupting people's conversations. Son, do you see me talking? Well, I wasn't talking to you. Wait your turn, better yet raise your hand and wait for me to call on you.

7. How old are you anyway? You look like about 60, but your wife just had a baby? And you got Rick Ross as your ringtone? I don't hate you for being old, I hate you because I can't figure out how old you are. LOL (yes, I know this one was a stretch.)

8. You be looking over my shoulder. Don't worry about what I'm doing on my computer. Don't be trying to look at my Facebook pictures. Or at the very least, at least be discreet about it.

9. You be lying. Why is you lying, yo? Whenever a celebrity is brought up, you say you know them. For real, you went to school with Gabrielle Union? For real, you homeboy is Dwight Howard's step father? For real, random NFL player used to date your sister? Stop lying!!!

10. You talk to me. While I don't mind some people talking to me, you aren't one of them. We aren't friends. I don't like you. That's why I ignore you when you speak. Or pretend to be on the phone, or elongate conversations with other people so I don't have to talk to you. It's also the reason I changed my desk at work. I don't want to hear you drone on and on about stuff I don't care about.