It's Snowing In The A!!!

Real snow too. I would show it to you, but my dumb behind bought the wrong size batteries and I'm not going back out on the roads today. My little jaunt to Subway and CVS was enough driving for me. The roads are slushy, but drivable. People just were either driving way too fast or way too slow. An accident waiting to happen. So yeah, no pictures of the snow, so you'll just have to believe me when I say, we got some real snow. Perhaps we can have a snow day tomorrow and I can stay home from work. Doubtful, but I didn't think it would actually snow either, so I'll just keep my fingers crossed. I got food, and internet and TV, and a phone, so I'm all good chillin in the house for a day or three. LOL

Okay, off to go throw some snowballs at passing motorists like we used to do when I was a kid. Holla at you later.

Rainy Day Reflections

It hasn’t rained in Atlanta since September 12th. No I didn’t count the days. I read that on yahoo or something.

The first 2 songs that played on my iPod today: "It Never Rains in Southern California" by Tony!Toni!Tone! and “Rainy Dayz” by Raekwon. Spooky, my iPod has psychic abilities. Darn artificial intelligence!!! It’s gonna kill us all!!!

Speaking of rain songs… I need to download Guns N Rose’s “November Rain.” That song rocked!

Why come women that wear wigs are afraid to let the rain touch them?

If you are a man and you have an umbrella that is any other color than black, brown or blue, you are suspect to me.

If you are a man and you have a rainbow colored umbrella, you are ghey!

Why are people scared of thunder? Lightning I could understand, but thunder is just sound.

When I was a kid living in NY, whenever it rained there would be hundreds of earthworms all over the sidewalks. Have you ever cut one in half and see both halves still moving? Me either, that’s like serial killer stuff. *plays it off by whistling*

Here’s what I want to happen. Next time there’s a loud thunder clap, I want nobody to say, Can we go home? You aren’t going home. The computers will not go out. The lights may go out for .72 seconds. We have generators. The phones will still work. The cables are underground. You aren’t going home so stop asking. Thanks in advance.

Is it weird that I spent my lunch standing outside in the rain? Yes, I had an umbrella. It was just soothing. I do that sometimes.

What is it about rain that makes it more conducive to sleep than say a blizzard? Or 100 degree heat. Everybody says that rain is sleepy weather, but not so much for me. Then again, nothing is sleepy weather for me.

Guess what? It’s just water. It’ll dry. So what my shirt is peppered with rain drops. I’m not soaked, I’m not drenched, its’ gonna be okay.

I really should do something about the water that leaks into my car. But what? A sealant or something? It trickles in right at the front windshield.

I really wish Make it Rain never made it out the clubs. I don’t need to hear the phrase being used at inopportune times. Like at work for instance. Someone sells something and they talk about making it rain… No, that’s not what that means. Stop it. Sincerely yours, A former strip club connoisseur.

Remember Acid Rain? Back in the 80’s that was supposed to be the big thing that was gonna kill us all, but I haven’t heard anything about it lately.

You see how I did an entire post about rain? I really need some blog inspiration. I’m stretching for stuff to write about. LOL

I'm Not A Poet...

But I was inspired. Keep in mind I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my ish... LOL

So Hot (copyright R. Jamal productions 2008)

You are so hot. You are…
Giving me visionz of sweated out perms and heavy breaths

You are so hot. You got me…
Dreaming about ice cubes dripping down backs and glistening legs

You are so hot. You make me…
Think about my cinnamon skin disappearing into a chocolate explosion

You are so hot. You entice me to
Fantasize about swimming in wetness, til the days stress is just an after thought.

You are so hot… You give me…
Heat stroke. Damn sun. Why you gotta be 98 degrees today?


What did you think I was talking about? LOL.

Ou est la neige?

Or something like that. For some reason I was trying to remember my 3 years of high school french. Truth be told, I only took French for two very superficial reasons: Leslie (not the one from yesterday's post) and because the girl talking French in BoyzIIMen's Uhh-Ahh (the sequel). Wait a minute, that's not true... I was I got my years mixed up. Never mind, scratch that...

I think the title means "Where is the snow?" Although its been so long since I actually spake the language of love, that I could be totally wrong. Is spake a real word? It sounds biblical or something, its probably archaic, but I like the way it sounds so it stays. I should probably get to the point of the post before you think I am high. I'm not, but I can see how you would think that I am with the direction this post is going. This would be a good time to actually do some editing, but I kind of like the idea of people thinking I'm crazy. Normal is boring, or at least that's what I tell myself in moments like these. On a sidenote, I shoulda signed up for Blog 365. I have 17 posts in 17 days this year, so what if I did 3 in one day? I can get 365 posts this year. N-T-way, I'm doing that old say-whatevers-on-my-mind-regardless-of-whether-it-makes-a-lick-of-sense-thing, so I should get back to the topic. What was I writing about again?

La neige... Oh yeah, it snowed yesterday in Atlanta. Like real snow. That's not a euphemism for cocaine. The skies opened up and white stuff fell for a good 3 hours. It got so bad (or good depending on your perspective) that when I looked out the window at work, the snow actually was sticking. I know, it probably wasn't even 2 inches of snow, but for Atlanta that was something serious. I actually got my hopes up that I would have a snow day tomorrow. I had visions of not going to work tomorrow while the city shut down around me. Old ladies rushing to supermarket to get toilet paper (Thanks Tenacious) and vienna sausages, middle aged men running to Home Depot to get extra firewood, alcoholics stocking up on their Colt .45 or E&J just in case the package store don't open. And me, sitting home reading blogs all day, in my draws snacking on generic brand Froot Loops and drinking peppermint tea. What a glorious day it was in my overindulgent imagination. I didn't even think about how treacherous the ride home would be. I gave no thought to the 18 wheelers recklessly speeding on the icy roads, while I'm sitting upright and holding my hands at 10 and 2 o clock like my grandma, trying not to lose control of the only car that has actually been reliable for me in the last year. All that didn't matter. Thursday was gonna be a free day for me!

Then 8 o clock came... The snow that so luxiouriously coated the trees behind our building turned into rain. Not even freezing rain, just regular old vanilla rain. Rain which melted the snow that covered the roads. Rain that made the highways slippery, but not slippery enough to give me a day off. Rain that's intended purposes seemed to be pissing me off, making me cold and landing directly in my eye. Damn you, rain! Bring back the snow! All night I had the news playing in the background. They did special reports about our "Winter Weather 08." They announced all the schools that were closing, some of the business that were closing, even though there is no more "Winter Weather 08" to speak of. Its just a regular old rainy cold day now. No ice, no snow, and no chillin in my draws reading blogs and watching movies on OnDemand that I would never watch on one of my regular days off.

Ou est la neige? Je voudrais ne travailler pas. Paix!

Make It Rain

Or rather let it stop. I know that we are in the midst of a drought and everything, but I need this rain to cease. For the last 3 days its been raining Fidos and Mittens at night. Ordinarily, I could care less about some precipitation, but now its starting to affect me personally. What am I talking about? I'll tell you.

Tuesday night, not only did it rain, but there was a storm. Lightning flashed, thunder rolled, and rain came down like a harbinger to Noah to build his ark. I was at work when it started and after a particularly treacherous ride home, all I wanted to do was plop down in the living room and watch the second episode of The Wire on HBO On Demand. I turned on my computer, which is always the first thing I do when I come home, and pointed the remote at the TV. The cable box came on, but no picture. I went over to the tv, and tried to turn it on, but no haps. I unplugged and replugged the TV in, but still no picture. Turns out that the lightning strikes fried the television. I don't know how it happened since it was in a surge protector, but it happened. Damn storms. The next morning, as I switched out the TV with a smaller spare TV I had, I realized something else. The DVD player was acting up too. It was turning on and off by itself. Apparently, the electronics in the DVD player was messed up too. There is a DVD in the player, that will not come out because whenever I hit eject, it just keeps loading. That also was in the surge protector, so either a very strong lightning strike hit, or the surge protector is just a piece of crap.

Wednesday, it was raining again. No storms to speak of, just heavy rain. As I got home from work, again, I turned on the computer. I read a few blogs, started writing a post, then went to fix something to eat. When I got back to finish my post, I noticed that I couldn't save it. The cable connection wasn't working. I tried the TV and of course, the weather had knocked out that service too. There I was, sitting there with no internet and no TV, all because of some rain. I just put in a DVD and fell asleep. As I awoke from my power nap around 730, I saw the cable crews working on the pole outside my window. I didn't even hit me to write the post in Word, and then transfer it to Blogger when the internet came back until it was already time to go to work. The cable was back on, but no post for yesterday.

That brings me to tonight. It rained again tonight. At first it was not that bad, but as if on cue, it started coming down on my ride home from work. I get off work at 1 in the morning, and there is usually nobody on the roads with me. Tonight, however, there must have been an 18 wheeler convention, cuz they were all over the place. I was driving slow as hell, trying to see where I was going. The truck drivers took this as a sign to drive next to me and spray me with the moisture from their tires. It was ridiculous. It was already hard enough to see without them barrelling down on me and cutting closely in front of me. To top it off, I hit a puddle on I 285 and nearly started hydroplaning. I was so glad to finally get off the highway and out of the rain.

There's no rain in the forecast in the next couple of days, so maybe I'll get a break. I know we need the rain, but does it have to come all in spurts? I don't really feel like dealing with it for a while.

Channel 32

I thought alcohol was supposed to be a depressant, some one tell me why I am still awake? See, I drank mojitos and champagne yesterday. You would think that I would be a little sleepy, but I'm not. Yesterday, I hung out with some friends watching the Ge.orgia Bul.ldogs stomp on that overrated football team from Hawaii. By halftime the game was pretty much over, and I took that as an opportunity to have my first drink(s) of the New Year. I kept it light, with the aforementioned mojitos, and some left over champagne that didnt get popped the night before. I had a good time hanging out. We talked shit as always, and played some Playsta.tion. But mostly, I sipped on some drinks that would not get me drunk.

On the way home several hours later, the wind was blowing hard and it started snowing. Snow used to excite me when I was younger, but now all I think of when I see the white stuff is how long its gonna take me to get to work if it continues. If there is any snow of consequence in Atlanta, the city will shut down. If there is moderate snow then everything stays open, but people lose their minds. They just don't know how to drive in the stuff. Not saying I'm an expert by any means, but I do have enough common sense to drive slow when the conditions dictate it. Luckily, this snowfall was more like a flurry and as of 8 this morning, I'm happy to say that nothing stuck.

That made me think of this past weekend. I was in Savannah and the temperature was 71 degrees... in December! Now, my hatred of Savannah has been well documented, but I could deal with some of that weather right now. Do you think it would be feasible for me to live down there during the winter months? The current temperature here is 21 degrees with a windchill of 8. Man, that's cold. I am not equipped for this weather anymore. 5 years ago, it would be no problem. I would go outside with a light jacket, but I'm old now and my body doesn't adapt well to the cold. In addition to the general cold feeling, I also get mad dry and ashy when the temperature dips and this Sua.ve extra dry moisturizing natural oatmeal lotion is not cutting it. It's like I put the lotion on, and then 5 minutes later, my hands are dry again. Its annoying.

As I'm still up, (I just watched 5 straight hours of Entou.rage and have 5 more to go to catch up.) I checked the local news and saw that the high is gonna be 37 and the low 15. That just doesn't work for me. I have the heat on, and still am wearing a fleece hoodie just to stay warm. I'm about to go old school and stand in front of the oven. At least the snow flurries have stopped and I shouldn't have any problem dealing with weather related traffic later this afternoon on the way to work. Aiight, gotta go get some more lotion now, holla at you later.

Oh yeah, channel 32 is the Weat.her Chan.nel.