SFLAT*: The Love Joint

...if you're too young, with the hypest body/I just don't go to a Similac party/So all those of age, we can get intimate/Bumper to bumper, so you can get your fender bent/I treat girls just like pastry/Mmmmmmmmm *smacks lips* Tasty!

Big Daddy Kane - "Cause I Can Do It Right" 1990

That has nothing do with the post, it just popped in my head...

*SFLAT=Sucka For Love Ass Trick....

I refuse to be a SFLAT again. I've been there, done that, got the scar tissue around my heart to prove it. What's love good for anyway? Everybody wants to be in love. "I love you." "You're the love of my life." Well I say forget all that. Love don't really love me no matter how much I love love. I mean, love makes you do stuff you said you would never do. It compromises your principles, it makes you weak and vulnerable, it replaces rational thought with emotional babble.

I can make people fall in love with me. That's not a problem. Just a couple of years ago, no less than 4 different bloggers people told me they loved me. But what does that mean anyway? Love, like time is fleeting. The one that loves you today will show you no love the next. They love to profess their love when things are good, but when the shit hits the fan, it's "I don't love them hoes." I'd rather you not even tell me that you love me, cuz the mere mention of the word changes everything. Just think it, you don't have to tell me. Because once it's out there, I'm gonna expect you to act accordingly. And if you don't, I'm be a little heated. That's right, I'm a sucka for love ass trick. When love talks, I prick up my ears and listen.

I'm in love with the idea of being in love. So why the disdain for love? It's cuz I don't wanna be a SFLAT. I don't wanna think about our future, our dreams, our kids, our old age, our.. well just our possibilities. I know that's the best part: the possibilities. But forget all that. Love doesn't always last, and the more excited I get about it, the harder I'll fall when/if it fails. Please don't take it personally. It's not you, its me. I just can't do it. I'm not the kind that can just be in love and then be out of love without it affecting me. Who says its better to have loved and lost, yadda yadda yadda? Forget all that. This love shit is for the birds.

Until that hypothetical time comes when I get over myself and let myself be a SFLAT again, we can still be cool. I'll still be that guy that will talk to you for hours, show you affection, take you out, lay you down (although that ain't been happening lately), share your dreams, be your rock, be your shoulder, be anything that you need me to be...except your soul mate. I can't do that without being a SFLAT. Besides, I've already had one or two of those. How's it look for to me to tell you "Baby...you're the three?" or how about "Three is the magic number" or "Third time's a charm." Okay, I'm being facetious, but you feel me, right? Love is love, yo! But it ain't for me right now. I'm done being a SFLAT!

I'm so full of crap! Nobody reading this was actually buying this were you? I wish I believed my own words, but on the real, that's not me. I'm gonna always be a SFLAT for the right one. I just hope that I can control it when the situation comes up again.

Love Hater

I always talk about what I don't like or what annoys me. So today in the interest of being fair and balanced like my most favorite tv station, Fox News (please read the sarcasm) I'm not only going to talk about what I hate, but what I love. I stole the title from a song by Andre 3000 from Outkast. Totally Unrelated Hip Hop Side Note: I went to middle school with Big Boi from Outkast in Savannah, but I didn't know him and didn't realize it until I was looking at my 8th grade yearbook many years later.

LOVE HATER

I love feminine women, girly girls or whatever you want to call them. I hate when women try too hard to be sexy by wearing clothes that don't fit or wearing excessive make up.


I love driving around with no particular place to go. I hate being stuck in traffic.


I hate Isaiah Thomas for making the Knicks bad for the last 4 years. I love the trade that Isaiah Thomas made last night bringing Zack Randolph to New York and getting rid of Steve Francis.


I love learning new things that challenge my established way of thinking. I hate admitting that my established way of thinking may have been wrong.


I love being a smart ass and making sarcastic jokes. I hate when my sarcasm alienates people that I don't want to alienate yet.


I love freedom of speech. I hate freedom of speech for idiots.


I love that I am about halfway through my screenplay. I hate that I have been halfway through my screenplay since Monday and haven't written anything since.

I love discovering new or new to me music. I hate hearing the same 10 songs over and over again.

I love when people aren't afraid to express their opinions. I hate when people state their opinions as fact with no understanding of other peoples points of view.

I love that today is payday, and I just realized it. I hate that I have to spend $214 for new tires this afternoon.

I love that people like me enough to call and check on me. I hate that nobody answers when I really need them.

I love getting a new DVD in the mail every other day. I hate that I don't have a life and can watch a new DVD every other day.

I love sleeping. I hate the fact that I usually only get 3 or 4 hours of sleep.

I love Fridays and Saturdays because I don't have to work. I hate Fridays and Saturdays because they go by too quick and before I know it I have to work again.

Aiight, that's enough love and hate for one morning. Feel free to drop your current loves and hates in the comment section. I'll check you all out on Monday. I'll be going to Savannah this weekend, so just maybe I'll have something interesting to write about next week. Have a good weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do!