Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thursday Thirteen: What I've Been Doing In The Week Since I've Blogged.

1. Getting a concussion. A mild one, but my head was hurting for 2 days. I got hit in the bumper on I 75. I’m cool. Thanks for your concern. LOL

2. Hanging out with Jameil. She came down Tuesday!!!

3. Watching inordinate amounts of Dexter. I got a couple of DVDs from Netflix, and then instead of waiting for the rest, I downloaded the rest of season 2 and 3. 24 episodes in a weekend.

4. Watching an inordinate amount of “Weeds.” After I got done with “Dexter”, I moved on to Weeds. Downloaded the 4th season of that.

5. Making excuses for not blogging. Honestly, I didn’t feel like it, so I didn’t do it. *Insertlameexcusehere*

6. Coming up with a plan to rule the world. Well, not exactly world domination, but I need to make moves. The writing is on the wall at work, and I need to have a plan.

7. Doing as much of nothing as possible at work. Between the slow times and the computer issues, a couple of days I shouldn’t even be there. It’s like a full time job not to go home early. (although I’m salaried, they take that time out of my check.)

8. Not calling people back, or not responding to emails. Umm, yeah, you all know that’s how I roll.

9. Making fun of people. Since it’s been so slow at work, this gives me lots of time for laughing and joking with the co workers. The more they talk, the more ammunition they give me for comedy. I wish I would have blogged about some of these situations, as they cracked me up.

10. Getting harassed by Aries. You saw the post last week from the old girl that I haven’t seen since 97. I got another facebook message from a different Aries who evidently neglects to see all the pictures of me and Jameil. Come on, Aries women, stop trying to get at me. LOL

11. Starting and stopping writing. I got drafts both in blogger and in my work email that I haven’t finished. At least when I finally decide to become a full time blogger, I won’t have far to go to find ideas.

12. Becoming more and more frustrated with the co workers incessant talk about losing weight. How many crazy diet ideas can you try, before you decide to bite the bullet and actually walk down that one flight of stairs. At the very least don’t talk loudly about your BMs and your colon cleansing. I don’t want to know about it.

13. Teased people to their faces... and they didn't catch on. We had a meeting the other day at work. This guy was supposed to be facilitating it, but knew nothing of what he spoke. After 5 minutes of silently mocking, I decided to "help" him. I turned on the overhead projector and found all the answers that he didn't know. I was mocking him, but he really, really thought I was helping him. Everybody cracked up, but at the end of the meeting, he stated "I'm going to look to you for help next meeting." Dog, you didn't even see that I was calling you dumb and undermining your authority. What a waste of sarcasm. LOL

Thursday, May 7, 2009

A Late Thursday Thirteen: The Biggest Loser

So, they are doing a Biggest Loser type thing at my job where different teams get together and try to lose weight. You may be thinking, how can Rashan possibly be in opposition to that? Well, I'll tell you. While I'm all for people getting healthy, the team names some of these people are using are just ridiculous. Keep in mind this is a WORK thing... Here are thirteen of my least favorite Biggest Loser - Work Edition Names...

  1. Baby Phat
  2. Brick Houses
  3. Bringing Sexxxy Back
  4. Don't Feed The Models
  5. Dyme Divas
  6. Dynomite Divas
  7. Divas Going To Knock Off Pounds
  8. Divine Divas
  9. Dropping It Like It's Hot
  10. Keepin It Real
  11. Northside Dymes
  12. Poundz Krushers
  13. Thick Wit It
Why everybody gotta be a diva? LOL. They sent an email to EVERYONE in the building. All departments. All department heads. All executives. Then they proceeded to talk trash to each other...copying EVERYONE on the emails. So ridiculously unprofessional. Or maybe I'm just a hater. I've been known to do that too. LOL

The Reason It Took So Long For Me To Join Facebook

Help me out with something. I need your input about something. Read the following facebook message and tell me how I should respond.

I can't believe how you have changed

May 6 at 10:59am

You have changed drastically. When you first contacted me you seemed to be enthusiastic about it. Now I ask you to call and you won't even pick up the phone. I am confused. I thought we were going to reunite and have a tight friendship again. I guess some things and some people really do change.
Please call

This Girl I Went To College With And Haven't Seen Since 1997

Response #1.

I'm sorry that I haven't responded immediately to your request. I thought that since I haven't seen you since college graduation, and have talked to you once in 12 years, that there was no sense of urgency. Obviously, I was mistaken. I'll be sure to contact you as soon as I wake up. Perhaps we can stay on the phone all day too. Or maybe I'll just take off of work and come to ____ and visit you. Also, thanks for reminding me that I contacted you. I was under the mistaken impression that you were the one that was looking for me for 12 years, and you were the one that found me on facebook, and that you were the one that called me 7 times in 2 days.

Response #2

Ummm... did you just send me a message about how horrible I am, and then tell me to call you? Why exactly would you want to talk to me? Why exactly would I want to talk to you if you think I'm such a cad?

Response # 3

Yeah, I changed. I hope you changed too. If you are the same person you were 12 years ago, then I think something is wrong.

Response # 4

Just so you aren't confused anymore, repeat after me: Rashan (Rashan) does NOT (does NOT) call people (call people.) If he did (If he did), you can stop repeating after me now... If he did, he would not call you. He has not talked to you in years, you and he have not been friends in years. One conversation of catching up is one conversation of catching up. It's not an invitation to be a part of Rashan's life. Facebook friends doesn't mean real life friends...

Response #5


Response #6 (the one I'm most likely to do)


Delete message, delete as facebook friend, don't ever speak to again.

Response # 7 - A Picture is worth a thousands rejections

What do you think? Which one response should I give? Or go ahead and make one up in the comments.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Everybody's Doing It/Subconscious

Everybody's doing it:

So why shouldn't I? Seems like everywhere I look, people are slacking on the blog game. I blame facebook and twitter. It's a lot easier to just write a one sentence blurb than an entire blog post. But that's not my reason for not writing. I just didn't feel like it. I had a routine that I've fallen out of, and am trying to get back, but I won't make any promises. I haven't posted in almost a week, but to be honest I haven't even really thought about it (except when Jameil is harassing me about my lack of posting.) I was even off work today, but still found other things to occupy my time. Anyway, I guess the first step to getting back in the blog routine is to actually write something, so here goes nothing...


The other day at work I realized that my subconscious made me do something that my conscious mind didn't realize. I admit this to you, because I just know that none of my regular readers (except Jameil) will judge me. Here goes: I realized that when having a conversation with a gay man, of which there are plenty at my job, I go out of my way to make sure that other people know I'm not gay too. This entails a subconscious deepening of the voice, putting extra distance between us, grabbing the booty of the first female that walks by, and mentioning my girlfriend more than usual. My conscious mind doesn't care what people think of me, but subconsciously I realize that I do. That got me thinking about some other things that my subconscious makes me do. Wanna read a list? Good, cuz here is one:

Flinch: I flinch when someone touches me. It can be something as simple as tapping me on my shoulder or someone trying to hug me. I can feel myself recoiling at the prospect of unsolicited human contact.

Get Nervous When My Mom Calls: I always get shook when I see Mom Cell on my caller Id. I don't know what I expect to hear, but I always assume the worst. Like either someone died, or I forgot someones birthday, I just always get a feeling of dread.

Turn the radio/tv when I hear the name Obama: I just don't wanna hear any more criticism. I think I take it way more personally than I should. My solution is to just avoid it.

Look away: I'm a people watcher. I'm always observing some odd behavior. But when someone sees me looking, I immediately turn away. Even if my conscious mind wants them to know that I see the crazy mess they are doing, my subconscious wont let me.

Put Pen in Mouth: When I want to smoke, my pen serves as a surrogate black and mild. My addiction is pathetic, I know. Please no lectures.

Pretend to be on phone: If I'm on break and someone approaches me, I pull the phone out real quick and pretend to be on a call. Its mad obvious, and one of these days, I'm going to hurt someone's feelings, but you know what, blame it on the subconscious.

There probably are some more, but now Jameil is on the phone and we are going to watch a movie. So I'll talk to you guys later...