The Eagle Part 2

So, "the eagle" had landed. My grandmother had her new car, so it would only be a matter of time before the rest of us got paid, right? I hated to admit it, but I was wrong. My cynical ass was wrong about "the eagle." It had taken over a year, but it was true. I went in the house and parlayed with my grandmother. Sometime between THE News at 6 on WTOC and Wheel of Fortune, I went outside to check out the car. I checked out the trunk, the CD player, the glove compartment.... What the hell is this???

I pulled out a stack of papers in the glove compartment and was confused to say the least. The paperwork from the dealership seemed to indicate that the car was not actually purchased, but a rental. I didn't know what to do then. Should I ask my grandma about it, or just let it go? She seemed to think that the car was hers, and maybe I was just not reading the paper correctly. So, instead I called my mother. She told me that "the eagle" was coming later in the week, and the dealership let her friend take the car on credit. Okay, it sounded weird to me, but it kinda made sense. I couldn't imagine that a car dealership would give up a brand new car without some hope of getting their money. So I left it alone. I came back to Atlanta and waited again...

A couple weeks later, I hadn't heard anything else about "the eagle." I called my grandmother and she told me that she had another new car. Apparently, since "the eagle" was delayed, they had to give back that car and get another one. At this point, the shit was just ridiculous. I felt bad that my grandmother was getting caught in the middle of this hoax. And I was finally convinced that it was a hoax. But when I tried to bring it up, I was rebuffed.

Would you believe that before it was all said and done, my grandmother had 9 different new cars? I don't understand how the dealership kept giving out cars, and I don't really understand why it didn't strike everybody else as odd that "the eagle" kept being promised, but never came through. I mean at some point, even the greatest optimist has to face facts. Finally, my grandmother just took a stand and told them to stop bringing her cars and got her own. As my family is prone to do, we just stopped talking about it. I never really knew what happened with the eagle until I went to Savannah for a visit a couple of weeks ago and had a conversation with my grandmother. The truth was even worse than my mind could conceive...

My mother's friend's sister's son was really dating this lady. She claimed she was an heiress to a fortune in Hawaii. At various times, it ranged from a few million dollars up to 500 million dollars. The money was supposedly in trust, and was supposed to be distributed on her birthday. And in exchange for being taken in by the family, she was going to share her wealth when she got it. I don't know if she deliberately running a scam or as my grandmother so politely put it "she wasn't all there" but basically the whole story was a lie. She never had any money, but the family bought into her story and thought they were gonna get rich quick. A few of them had quit their jobs, sold their houses in anticipation of getting larger newer homes, and then the truth came out and they were crushed. I think about my family and at least we weren't gullible enough to actually give up jobs or anything. But for real, we got suckered, by a crazy lady. I have to admit, even my cynical non believing ass was going for a minute. But as they say, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

The Eagle Part 1

I'm a firm believer that if something sounds too good to be true, it usually isn't true. A few years ago I experienced something that confirmed that philosophy...

As I recall, I was relaxing after work, watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer when my phone rang. It was my mother. After hesitating for a moment, I decided to answer.

"Hello"

"Hey, my son. How are you?"

"I'm good, just got home from work. How are you?"

"I need you to get all your bills together and let me know how much you owe"

"Huh?" I was a little confused.

"All your student loans and everything. I'm gonna pay them off"

"What did you hit the lottery?" I joked.

"No, I'll be coming into some money soon and I'll be able to take care of everything."

With that exchange, I was introduced to what me and my siblings dubbed "The Eagle." As in "The Eagle Has Landed." To us, financial security was akin to Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. A miraculous event that we never imagined would happen in our lifetime. Some time later, I talked to my sister and brother and discovered that my mother had similar conversations with them. We didn't know where the money was coming from, and you know my skepticism was on heightened alert. Over the following days and weeks, my mother cryptically started dropping hints about the source of our sudden windfall. Eventually, we got the full details.

Okay, stay with me, because the next sentence is kind of confusing. It turns out that my mother had a friend who had a sister who had a son who was dating a wealthy woman. In addition to being wealthy, she was also apparently very generous and wanted to share her wealth. The only problem was that she didn't have the money yet. This woman, whose name I do not know to this day, purported that she was about to receive her full trust fund, that was supposedly worth millions. When I heard the whole story, I was taken aback. Why would some women whom we don't even know want to give us money? But my mother swore it was genuine, so I waited to see if this thing that sounded too good to be true was real.

Weeks passed, followed by months. As time went by, the promises also grew. Now instead of just having my student loans paid off, my siblings and I were now supposed to also receive $10,000 each. My grandmother was going to get a new car in addition to getting her house remodeled. I can't remember how much my mom was supposed to get, but it was in the 6 figures. All from some lady that I have never seen, talked to, emailed, shared a cab ride with, nothing. Occasionally, we would bring "The Eagle" up to my mom, and were told that things were delayed, or there was a hold up with the lawyer. I really started to think it was not going to happen. It even became a running joke with me, my brother and sister. Like if someone needed to borrow $5, it would be "wait 'til 'the eagle' lands" or "I sure wish 'the eagle' would come so I can put some gas in the car." I think we all knew deep down it wasn't going to happen, but no one wanted to admit it.

Fast forward a year. "The Eagle" still had not landed, but by this time I wasn't even thinking about it anymore. If someone brought it up, I would change the subject or grumble "man, ain't no damn eagle." I didn't want to invest any more false hope into something that didn't feel right to begin with. I had recently been promoted at my job and was doing all right for myself. I wasn't rich by any means, but I had money left over after paying bills. In January of '05, I was sent to Savannah for a management conference and of course I skipped out at lunch to go see my grandmother. When I arrived at Grandma's house, I noticed that there was a brand spanking new car in the driveway. She had just got it that same day. Apparently "The Eagle" actually came through...

Part 2 tomorrow...