The BET Presidential Debate '08 (part 2)

This is part 2 of this post. If you didn't read part one, scroll on down or click here to catch up.

Terrence: Okay, we are back on 106 and Park's Presidential Debate. I'm Terrence and that's my girl Rocsi as if you didn't know.
Rocsi: What's good, people?
Terrence: We gonna bring out our next candidate to kick his freestyle. Mayor Giuliani, come on out.
Giuliani: How's everybody doing?

Audience boos:

Random Audience Member: You locked up my brother!
Giuliani: I sure did cuz I'm tough on crime.
Terrence: Aiight, I know a lot of cats in NY got beef with you, but we gonna let you kick your rhymes anyway. Maybe you can change some minds out here.

I'm America's mayor, not just the NY
When it comes to cleaning up crime, I'm that guy
Remember Times Square, it used to be dangerous and gritty
Now you see MTV, BET and even Walt Disney
They couldn't take my shine by knocking down the towers
Instead it gave Republicans all kinds of spying power.
They try to distract you by saying that I'm a cheater.
But 9/11 was stressful, you wouldn't be faithful either
Vote for me even though its been 5 years since I was in office
Or I'll just keep giving speeches to fill my coffers.

Terrence: Aiight, that's what's up!
Rocsi: I wanna give it up to my girl, Hillary Clinton coming to the stage.
Terrence: I see you got a special guest with you.
Hillary: I don't need a beat. My husband Bill is gonna beat box for me.
Terrence: Is that allowed?
Rocsi: It's never happened before, I'm not sure.
Terrence: Whatever, son! Go for what you know!

Bill Clinton beat boxes. Hillary raps.

The H to I to the L to the L
All you other candidates can just go to hell
I'm taking the gloves off and ain't pulling no punches
Try to debate me, kid I'm eating all their lunches
First off what the hell is a Mike Huckabee?
Coming from my home state, but he's just a wannabe
And Edwards, you had your chance and now you're losing
Better off having Al Gore come to lecture about pollution
Giulani gonna beat me? Come on get serious
His credentials are as funny as Eddie Murphy's Delirious
Mitt Romney? Fred Thompson? They ain't nothing nice
Barack is cool, but as your president? He can be my vice.
Vote Clinton in 08, its just me and Bill
Universal health care is how we keeps it real.

*drops mic*

Terrence: Ooooh!!! She ripped that son, She ripped that.
Rocsi: All my ladies in the house say "Owwwww"
Ladies: Owwww!!!
Terrence: I like that. That's gonna be tough to top. Who's up next!
Rocsi: It says here: Mitt Romney.
Terrence: Oh, the Mormon dude. Okay, do your thing, brother.
Romney: Actually, I'm not here to rap. I just wanted to let everybody know to register to vote. I also wanted to talk about family values.
Terrence: Is it true that you are a Mormon? Do you believe in polygamy?
Romney: There are a lot of misconceptions about Mormonism.
Terrence: Son, don't say it, spit it! This is Freestyle Friday and the livest audience wants to hear your skills
Romney: Uh, err...
Terrence: Do Y'all wanna hear a verse?

Crowd goes wild... Rap! Rap! Rap!

Romney: That's not what I came here for...
Rocsi: Aiight, I respect that, but lets move on to someone who is here to rap. Let's bring out our last candidate.
Terrence: Word! Word! BARACK OBAMA IN THE HOUSE!!!

Crowd cheers wildly.

Obama: What's up, 106 and Park?!?! You ready for me to rip this?!?!
Terrence: Be clear. The livest audience is ready for you, but you gonna have to BRING IT to top what Hillary just did. You ready?
Obama: Oh, yeah! Let me get that "Lose Yourself" instrumental
Rocsi: A little Eminem action? Let's do it!

Music Drops:

When I say O, you say bama
O - bama, O- bama
When I say O, you say bama
O - bama, O- bama

My opponents palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
Barack Obama in the house, comps not ready
They nervous, a black man armed and steady
Poised to take the White House, so come on already
I'm the unifier, and I'm bout to bridge the gap
From blues to rock n roll, from jazz to rap
Doesn't matter where your from or where you at
Barack Obama brings the drama, are you aware of that?
Only been a Senator for a couple of years
But got much more respect than the rest of my peers
Never fear anything, I wasn't raised to lose
I got the blueprint for a new day, like Jay-Z do
In November of 08 who will the people choose?
Lets talk about the others who tryna fill my shoes
We got McCain, who doesn't know what party he wants to rep
And Romney can talk family values but he's out of step
Giulani talks tough, but when it comes to leading
He's no different than George Bush, have our soldiers bleeding
And Huckabee, I don't even know this cat
Won in Iowa, now he thinks he got the inside track
I'm a tell you this much, I hope they nominate him
he ain't no competition for the democratic nation
Next up, Fred Thompson, he better stick to acting
Remember Reagan, them eight years? I aint tryna go back then
John Edwards is in the race, but he ain't the answer
Tryna play with your emotions by exploiting his wife's cancer
Hillary got some swag, but the facts remain evident
When I get the nomination, SHE can be MY vice president
Nah, let me stop, she wont make it on my ticket.
The first female VP is Oprah, ya dig it?

Terrence: OOOOHHH!!! You see how its going down? My man, Barack just ripped this. son!
Rocsi: Let's go to the audience and see who won this battle. I'ma half to go with my girl, Hillary!
Terrence: I'ont know! Barack represented out there! Let's let the livest audience decide...
Rocsi: True, True!
Terrence: But first, here's our new joint of the day, Jim Jones featuring Lil Wayne and T Pain. Its' called "I Suck"

Goes to video.

I know an abrupt ending, but I can't think of anything else to write and this shit is getting epic like. Besides, I think you get the point. This was just some strange sarcastic mess that I thought of. Who did you think was the best? I gotta go with Obama, probably because that was the first one I wrote. But I'm interested in your opinion. What do you think? I mean, besides the fact that I'm crazy, who represented in BET's Presidential Debate?

The BET Presidential Debate '08

Okay, I know I took a couple of days off from the blog, but I'm back. In fact it was just a weekend, the hell am I apologizing for. LOL. Here is another one from the insanity that goes on in my head. I'm watching the news and hear that everybody got a debate. MySpace, YouTube, FaceBook... What if BET had a debate? What if the election was like a rap beef? What if instead of saying nothing during the debates, the candidates actually said some real shit? What if they had a rap battle? Follow me, cuz I know it already sounds strange, but keep reading anyway...

The BET Presidential Debate '08

Terrence: Welcome to 106 and Park home of the livest audience! I'm Terrence and this is my cohost Rocsi.
Rocsi: What's up, ya'll! Ya'll ready to get live?

Audience screams.

Terrence: Aiight, that's what I'm talking about. Today we have a big show for you. We have new music from Bow Wow, a flashback video from Ja Rule and today we gonna do something new for you.
Rocsi: What we gonna do? What we gonna do?
Terrence: First of all, you have no idea how big this is!
Rocsi: How big is it, man?
Terrence: It's so big that I don't even know how to explain how big it is.
Rocsi: Tell 'em son. Tell em what's the deal.
Terrence: Son, today on this stage we have The 106 and Park Presidential Debates!!!

Audience doesn't react...

Rocsi: I'm saying... we got all the candidates in the house. Barack, Hilary, Guiliani.. I'm saying all of them.

Audience doesn't react.

Terrence: Aiight, Aiight. You know we do it real big here on 106 and Park.
Rocsi: No doubt.
Terrence: We ain't just got the candidates...
Rocsi: Word?
Terrence: Word! Today the candidates are gonna debate... in Freestyle Friday!!!

Audience goes wild.

Terrence: Yeah, that's what I thought, we gonna shut this thing down today. Rocsi???
Rocsi: What's up, man!
Terrence: Why don't you introduce our first contestant.

Rocsi: Aiight, but first let me go over the rules. KEEP IT CLEAN!!! You can say whatever you want about your opponent, but just don't curse. Even though every video on our show has profanity or sexual innuendo not appropriate for the age of our audience, just don't curse!
Terrence: That's right. Each candidate will have 30 seconds to spit their hottest lines. And at the end of the cypher, you, the livest audience on TV will pick the winner.
Rocsi: Right, Right. Let's bring out our first contestant. Coming to the stage hailing from Arkansas in the Dirty, Dirty... Mike Huckabee....

Huckabee: Good afternoon, everybody!
Terrence: Yo, Huck. Check this out, this is 106 and Park, home of the livest audience on TV. Can you get a little crunk today?
Huckabee: I'll try. Yo Yo Yo, what's the deal, BET!!!

Crowd goes wild

Terrence: That's right! Pander like a politician!
Rocsi: What's pander mean, Terrence?
Terrence: Don't worry about. Just sit there and look cute. Aiight, Mike, you got 30 seconds to spit your platform. DJ - drop that beat.

Beat drops.

Mike: Yo, Yo, I'm bout to rip this, son.

Yo, I'm Mike Huckabee from Arkansas.
I'm bout the dopest candidate that you heard thus far.
And I do get better, the voice gets wetter
She cant have no abortion, cuz I wont let her
Do her thing, with an 08 swing
the amendment I write, will take away gay rights.
An economic brainiac/anti immigrant maniac
In full effect, I'm bout to eliminate federal tax

Rocsi: Yo, Yo that was hot. Give it for my man.. I forgot your name, but you ripped it son.
Terrence: Next up, lets bring out my man John Edwards. We running short on time, so DJ just drop the beat.

I'm John Edwards from North Cackalaki
I know you seen my house and you said it looked tacky.
To talk about the middle class when I'm living like a king
But real talk people, that's the American dream
I hear cats talking about Obama or Hilary C
I'm need you all to recognize what's going on with me.
I'm for universal health care on each and every block
But most of all, I wanna get them troops outta Iraq.

Terrence: Times up. That was hot, kid! Let's bring out our next candidate. Who we got Rocsi?
Rocsi: We got another John! John McCain. Is that anything like the guy from Die Hard, Terrence.
Terrence: I thought I told you to just look pretty. That's John McClain, Rocsi. Let's bring out my man.

They say I'm too old to lead, but let me state my case
Remember Reagan? He was like 80 years old in the place
And he did 8 years, and ended the cold war
I know all about that, I was a POW before
So I support the military and wanna protect our borders
And I'm better than that actor from Law and Order
He ain't even show up, why not's beyond me
And don't even get me started on Guilani.
I hope he don't think he got the experience like mine
All he gonna say is 9/11 about 20 more times.

Terrence: Yoooooo!!! It's getting real personal right now. I think we need to go to a commercial, but first lets go to the livest audience for their reaction.
Rocsi: I'm here with the livest audience. Who do you think got the lead so far?

Random audience member: I'd like to give a shout out...
Rocsi: Go head, ma! Kick your shout out!
Random audience member: I'd like to give a shout out to Al Sharpton, oh and my mama and all the juniors at Hawthorne High! Class of 09. WOOOO!!!!

Terrence: Hey, Rocsi! Ask her what she thought of Freestyle Friday?
Rocsi: What's up, Ma? Who's representin' for the '08?
Audience: So far, I gotta give it to McCain. He did the doggone thing!

Terrence: That's what's up! We'll be back after the commercials with more Freestyle Friday. Pay attention, we got Hilary, Barack, Rudy and maybe a surprise or two.

Fade out!

This is getting too long, so I'll finish it up tomorrow. I could have the platforms totally incorrect, so don't go basing your political opinions on this post. I did some research, but not that much. Aiight, I'm out!

Tell The Truth Tuesday: BET

Come on, BET! Tell the truth. We already know what the deal is, but we want to hear you admit it. Just admit it. We are all grown men and women and we can handle it. You don't have to make up stories, just come out and tell the truth!

What am I talking about? Well, I don't know if everybody has heard about it, but BET is producing a TV show called "Hot Ghetto Mess" based on the website of the same name. I'll even put the link here so you can check it out if you choose. The premise of the show supposedly, (and I say supposedly because it hasn't aired yet so I haven't seen it) is user made home videos and on the street interviews that spotlight those embarrassing so called "ghetto" aspects of the community. You know, the images that make you say "damn, that's ghetto!" Like the outlandish prom pictures with the wild hairstyles and age inappropriate dresses, or the crazy things that some people do to their cars, or just basic tomfoolery and hood repping at the club. Well, the Black man's favorite channel is premiering a show that brings these images out of the forwarded email stage to basic cable.

Now, not surprisingly, BET is getting a little backlash about this kind of programming. Post- Don Imus, anything with racial implications is in the spotlight; controversy was sure to follow a show so descriptively entitled "Hot Ghetto Mess." But this time it's not just the usual suspects protesting. I'm sure they will have something to say, but the illustrious Reverends Al and Jesse will not be by themselves. The Home Depot and State Farm have reportedly decided that they do not want to advertise on the show effectively putting their money where their mouth is. For their part, at least I can say that BET has not cracked under the pressure...yet. But here is where my problem comes in. BET is trying to make it seem that "Hot Ghetto Mess" is a tool for social change. Like Black people will look at these images and be inspired to be less ghetto. The following quote is from the BET website about the show:

"Cutting edge, original, relevant and irreverent, "Hot Ghetto Mess" is like the traffic accident you can't look away from. Viewers will laugh. They'll cry. They'll think. They'll learn, and hopefully they'll recognize they've GOT to do better."

I'm sorry, but I have to resurrect the word that we buried last week: NIGGA PLEASE!!! Who da hell do you think you are fooling? This show is exploitation plain and simple. It is designed for us to laugh at people. We all laugh at people that are different than us. People we think are ghetto, or country, or bougie, or stuck up are the objects of our ridicule. Even the most conscious of us sometimes have moments when we will pass judgment on someone else's behavior. I'm not even knocking the show for airing our dirty laundry, although my personal opinion is that some shit we need to keep to ourselves. My biggest problem with BET is that they are full of shit, trying to pass this show off as social commentary.

So, dammit BET, just tell the truth. Tell us that this show is inexpensive to produce so it fits your bottom line. Tell the world that this show will appeal to the baser desires of your viewership and therefore will be a hit. Tell the truth for once. The truth is that half of the shows already on BET could be titled "Hot Ghetto Mess", and as much as I loved the show growing up, this includes Rap City. Tell the damn truth, BET! Tell us that coonery worked on VH1 with Flava Flav, so you thought you would give it a try. Tell the truth! Tell the world that nobody watches BET News, but they will watch the same episode of ComicView over and over again. That's why you have a show called "Hot Ghetto Mess" You know good and damn well that you are not trying to change the world. I would respect you much more if you said it was just entertainment. I don't believe in censorship of any kind, so I'm not saying that this show should not on the air. I'll let the more dedicated bloggers and activists lead the protest. I'm just saying... damn, BET tell the fuckin truth!!! This show is a "hot ghetto mess" and you know it.