Your Kisses Taste Like Amaretto

^^^^^That's what you would tell me if you were here with me and my lips right now.^^^^^

Jameil hates disclaimers, but here's one anyway...Let me just warn you that this post is gonna be extremely stream of consciousness, cuz I have nothing really to write about, but I wanted to post anyway.

I've had entirely too much amaretto today. Not because it has made me drunk, but just because I had too much without getting drunk. You may ask why am I drinking amaretto anyway? Well, it was the only thing containing liquor in the house other than the bottle of Hennessy that Senita left in the freezer last week and the hand sanitizer. But I was not feeling the Hen tonight, plus I had no chaser. I've had this particular bottle of Amaretto over 7 months. In fact, I remember when I bought it. It was New Years Day, and I was going to hang out with some friends. I bought this bottle and a bottle of Bacardi Select. The Select got kilt, but the amaretto remained untouched so i took it home with me. That was also the last time I've been to a liquor store. Wait, no I got some beer for a cookout a couple of months ago, but that doesn't count cuz I wasn't buying it for me. I mean, seriously, do I look like the type to drink Budweiser? I'm not that old...although I could be considered an elder statesman, especially in the blog world. It's like all you bloggers are 24-28, and me at 33 I seem mad old. Magnolia Peach (everybody go to her blog and harrass her about posting more. LOL) made me feel old the other day when she was writing about being in 4th grade in 1993. Yo, I was in college in 93! Sophomore year to boot. That was the time when I was hanging out with Tori in the student center every day after class and before work. That was when I was just coming into my own with the ladies. I got my first little taste of women appreciating me for my crazy, crazy brain. That was cool. Back then I used to wear Hilfiger, Fubu and Karl Kani. True story, I was in a store today and I saw all three of those designers clothes. I was dying laughing. I started to buy some just cuz I know how much you all love my 10 year old yellow hoodie. You know I live to entertain you guys. I just realized that if you haven't been reading very long, you may not know what I'm talking about, so I'll link that old post. You have to read the comments though. People roasted me for that hoodie for like months on end. Utter hilarity! Before I went off on that (those) tangent(s) I was talking about the song.

The Sweetest Thing by Lauryn Hill... If you didn't know that's where I got the title from then I don't wanna be your friend. LOL I'm just kidding. I'll still be your friend cuz apparently that's what I do. Someone told me that I don't know how to cut people off. I don't necessarily agree, but the way I cut people off is a little different. I'll take all I can take and then just stop answering the phone. It's mad abrupt and usually people don't even know what they did to make me stop messing with them. This is mostly on a friendship level. When it comes to a dating/relationship level, I usually make the woman break up with me. Like just do everything I can to make her mad enough to leave, short of cheating. I'm so not a cheater. I did it one time in my life and felt like a total heel. That was over 10 years ago, so the statute of limitations is up on that one. I'm officially not a cheater anymore. Speaking of Cheaters...where do they find these people to be on the show. I could never act an ass on TV like that. I ain't signing no release for nothing. If I ever was there, my face would be mad pixilated. Wait, what was I supposed to be talking about? Oh that's right, The Sweetest Thing.

Say, sweet thang. Can I buy you a fish sammich? Man, I love that movie. Can anybody name that movie without clicking the link? He also says.. Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burglar? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress. Hilarious!!! I don't buy DVDs but I would watch that one over and over again. (Hey, you asked me that question last night. Add this movie to that list.) I just tangentized again. Yeah, I made that word up. I often make up words. It's okay cuz I have an English degree and I'm being ironic. I'm a highly qualified word maker upper. Don't try this at home. If people don't know that you know that your made up word isn't real then they may just think you are stupid. Speaking of stupid people, Jesse Jackson. Uggh, for real Jesse? You just gonna go on Fox News and talk about cutting off another mans 'nads? I can't stand you, Jesse. Why were you on that channel anyway, bruh?

Anyway, let me get back to the original point of the post. The Sweetest Thing. I like that line about a kiss on a collarbone. I could totally do that to someone right now. That song was on the Love Jones soundtrack. I remember when I first saw that movie. I was with my college girlfriend and we were the only people in the theater that liked it. The Savannah hood figures were talking about how boring it was. Did I mention that I hate Savannah? That mentality is part of the reason. I also wrote a review for LoveJones for my college paper. I need to see if I can find that. It's probably in my sun room/storage area. I did find 3 notebooks of old rap lyrics. Some of them were written in pencil, so I can barely read them. The others were written in pen, but my handwriting looks like I had a stroke, then got hit by a car, then I tried to write during a train ride during an earthquake. You get it? I have horrible penmanship. I've told this story before I think, but I'm naturally left handed. My 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Bierman, decided that she wanted me to write with my right hand. I guess they didn't have any left hand desks at the time. Anyway, long story short. I never quite got the hang of neat penmanship with my right hand, and I no longer can write with my left hand. I do just about every thing else with my left hand, including holding the phone. I can't hold the phone to my right ear. It just feels wrong. Same thing with taking pictures of myself which I do daily now. Camera is always in my left hand. My left arm is exponentially stronger than my right arm. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a lame arm like dude from the Two Live Crew, but I can tell the difference. Dang it, I just strayed again..

What was I gonna say about "The Sweetest Thing?" Oh yeah, I like that song. The End!

Ou est la neige?

Or something like that. For some reason I was trying to remember my 3 years of high school french. Truth be told, I only took French for two very superficial reasons: Leslie (not the one from yesterday's post) and because the girl talking French in BoyzIIMen's Uhh-Ahh (the sequel). Wait a minute, that's not true... I was I got my years mixed up. Never mind, scratch that...

I think the title means "Where is the snow?" Although its been so long since I actually spake the language of love, that I could be totally wrong. Is spake a real word? It sounds biblical or something, its probably archaic, but I like the way it sounds so it stays. I should probably get to the point of the post before you think I am high. I'm not, but I can see how you would think that I am with the direction this post is going. This would be a good time to actually do some editing, but I kind of like the idea of people thinking I'm crazy. Normal is boring, or at least that's what I tell myself in moments like these. On a sidenote, I shoulda signed up for Blog 365. I have 17 posts in 17 days this year, so what if I did 3 in one day? I can get 365 posts this year. N-T-way, I'm doing that old say-whatevers-on-my-mind-regardless-of-whether-it-makes-a-lick-of-sense-thing, so I should get back to the topic. What was I writing about again?

La neige... Oh yeah, it snowed yesterday in Atlanta. Like real snow. That's not a euphemism for cocaine. The skies opened up and white stuff fell for a good 3 hours. It got so bad (or good depending on your perspective) that when I looked out the window at work, the snow actually was sticking. I know, it probably wasn't even 2 inches of snow, but for Atlanta that was something serious. I actually got my hopes up that I would have a snow day tomorrow. I had visions of not going to work tomorrow while the city shut down around me. Old ladies rushing to supermarket to get toilet paper (Thanks Tenacious) and vienna sausages, middle aged men running to Home Depot to get extra firewood, alcoholics stocking up on their Colt .45 or E&J just in case the package store don't open. And me, sitting home reading blogs all day, in my draws snacking on generic brand Froot Loops and drinking peppermint tea. What a glorious day it was in my overindulgent imagination. I didn't even think about how treacherous the ride home would be. I gave no thought to the 18 wheelers recklessly speeding on the icy roads, while I'm sitting upright and holding my hands at 10 and 2 o clock like my grandma, trying not to lose control of the only car that has actually been reliable for me in the last year. All that didn't matter. Thursday was gonna be a free day for me!

Then 8 o clock came... The snow that so luxiouriously coated the trees behind our building turned into rain. Not even freezing rain, just regular old vanilla rain. Rain which melted the snow that covered the roads. Rain that made the highways slippery, but not slippery enough to give me a day off. Rain that's intended purposes seemed to be pissing me off, making me cold and landing directly in my eye. Damn you, rain! Bring back the snow! All night I had the news playing in the background. They did special reports about our "Winter Weather 08." They announced all the schools that were closing, some of the business that were closing, even though there is no more "Winter Weather 08" to speak of. Its just a regular old rainy cold day now. No ice, no snow, and no chillin in my draws reading blogs and watching movies on OnDemand that I would never watch on one of my regular days off.

Ou est la neige? Je voudrais ne travailler pas. Paix!

fear of punctuation

if you actually read this whole thing you are better than me cuz if i went to someones blog and saw a mass of words with no punctuation i would just be like next this idea just hit me while i was driving home from work and since i dont post anything else i thought i would try this stream of consciousness thing ive been thinking a lot about fears i have my fears just like the next man my current fear is my old fear well kinda i used to be afraid that i would end up like my father addicted to drugs but now my fear is that i will not live up to my full potential like him i sometimes dont know what i was thinking when i do stuff hindsight is indeed 20 20 anyway my father was a brilliant man and id like to think that i am brilliant man too maybe our brainpower just doesnt translate into marketable skills cuz he used to do all kinds of odd jobs when he was smart enough to run a company or be a professor or write the great american novel i feel like i am following the same path although i do like my job its not a career at least not yet and i was doing so much more in my last job but i fall into this trap of becoming comfortable and staying in situations that are not the best for me when i really have the potential to do so much more but i dont know what i want to do can you get paid for making sarcastic comments cuz if you can i would be a freakin millionaire i would never get tired of that job i would do overtime without any qualms but that wasnt the point the point was that i dont know what i want to do with my life which is kinda bad since i am 32 years old and to the point where i should know these things or at least be planning for the future nevertheless i was talking about my fears and i am afraid of other things besides generational curses i am also afraid that i wont be able to have kids for a couple of reasons i think i must be sterile cuz everyone i have sex with seems to get pregnant after we no longer are kickin it i mean when is it going to be my turn to accidentally on purpose knock somebody up i told my last friend that now that we arent kicking it prepare to be pregnant in about 3 months its what they call a happy coincidence i guess just like how every one of my ex girlfriends gained weight while dating me i think i have some sort of gene that makes women not get pregnant and gain weight and stalk er umm i mean be persistent with me i changed that because someone told me that i was flattering myself by saying that i had a bunch of stalkers which i wish was the case but alas it isnt true for instance a girl i used to date 10 years ago found me on myspace and keeps emailing me even after i denied her friend request you know what since i have my real name on this blog she probably is reading this now so let me just say go away veronica we will never be friends and i will not be responding to your emails i dont have no beef but we are not going to be friends or anything else that is my choice and stop trying to change my mind i wonder if i could ever be a stalker i dont think i have the energy for it plus all you have to do is tell me you dont want me and then im gone i dont have a high tolerance for rejection you ever notice how people say one thing but mean another like when someone is like dont call me and then calls you the next day mad cuz you didnt call them like it was all some sort of mind control game that you failed i dont respond well to ultimatums especially in a relationship i have a fear of being controlled i have to be my own man which is why it kills me to ask for help and i will only do it under extreme circumstances like if i owe my bookie or something i dont know why i typed that cuz i dont gamble im too cheap to spend money on something that i have no control over like if lebron sprains his ankle im out of 100 dollars its too risky but wait i was saying something else i guess that kind of applies cuz i was talking about control but im done with that so lets move on im afraid of something else midgets there is a midget at my job and every time i see him i jump a little i know it isnt politically correct but that is my natural reaction i am also afraid that i might have an ice box where my heart used to be i'm so cold i cant believe i just included an omarian song in my post but its true let me say it another way i got that i dont give a fuck in me its stuck in me thats mobb deep have i earned my hip hop pass back anyway i dont see myself opening up to anybody any time soon and i actually am cutting myself off from people left and right i dont really feel like dealing with no one elses bs i got enough of my own thats not like me cuz i was always down to listen to some drama as long as it didnt involve me now im like fuck that shit i dont have the energy maybe thats why i dont read blogs that much anymore cuz im not in the place to offer supportive words or invest caring into what i read its all superfluous to me i dont know if i used that word correctly thats bothering me cuz i am a word nerd and i should really look it up but that would defeat the purpose of my stream of consciousness post so i will just have to let it ride and obsess over it later speaking of obsession i think i am obsessed with moving out of atlanta for some reason i want to move to baltimore even though i never been there well once but i was so drunk/high that i dont remember anything except some big ass club called hammerjacks i think the wire makes me want to live in bmore but if i did aint no way i could live in the hood like that i just need a fresh start i think a couple weeks ago i was really about 5 minutes from just hopping on a greyhound cuz my whip was broken and starting the hell over where nobody knew me i think i was actually depressed i think people use that as an excuse sometimes but for the first time in my 32 years i actually was depressed dont get me wrong ive been sad but i never felt like i wanted to just give up im not talking about suicide cuz i can always find something to live for but i wanted to quit the job, pack my stuff and try again i know since i dont blog much about my personal life or anything anymore that this probably doesnt make sense but shit aint been right since the beginning of november and then when it gets to the point where it is all right some other shit comes and messes it up im due for a break the last week everything has been cool so fingers crossed it will stay that way cuz i cant take much more scratch that thats not true i can take what ever comes my way cuz because what other choice do i have by now if you are still reading you probably think i have finally lost my mind but this is just a creative exercise i'm really no crazier now than i was a few months ago i promise peace everybody have a good day week month until i post again