Tuesday, February 27, 2007

2 Weeks Of Realizations...by The Payday Blogger

Wow!!! It's been almost 2 weeks since I blogged. I only blog on paydays apparently. That's crazy to me. I used to be the dude that wrote every weekday and obsessed over comments and who was visiting me. Now, I haven't even looked at my blog in the last week. What the hell is going on? All those that have been commenting, thank you for that. I owe you one, and I intend to come visit and read your blogs soon. Enough of the insincere apologies, let's get an update on what's been happening with Rashan. Over the past couple weeks, I've been doing a lot of thinking and analyzing and epiphany-ing. (I know it's not a word, but you know what I mean.)

Even though I already knew this, I realized again, that I can't count on people the same way they can count on me.

I realized that I actually do want to go out sometimes...but I don't.

I realized that I need to go into isolation and get my mind right, for real this time.

I realized that nothing in my life is better than hanging out with my niece and nephews. I even changed a diaper the other day.

I realized that people are basically fucked up. You gotta just catch them in their periods of unfucked-up-ness in order to connect with them.

I realized that stalkers will find you if you put your real name on your MySpace page. I also realized that even if you reject them as your friend, they wont give up that easily.

I realized that R. Kelly is on every damn song on the radio now a days... and as much as I am ashamed to admit it, I actually like that "I'm a Flirt" mess. I swear if it was anyone else but Kels, I would hate that mess.

I realized that me and cars just don't get along. I need to start riding Marta or something.

I realized that I really like to sleep. For so many years, I deprived myself of regular sleep. But now, I feel refreshed all the time.

I realized that I haven't posted any pictures in a while. I need to find my digital camera.

I realized that I have a crush...

I realized that Strokers stays open until 4AM, so theoretically, I could go when I get off work.

I realized that I am a smart ass. Now everybody already knows this, but one thing I said last week, made even me be like "damn, did you really just say that?"

I realized that a lot of times, I already know when something isn't going to work, but I just delude myself into thinking otherwise.

I realized that I was looking extra bummy when I saw my ex co workers at Subway the other day. I can only imagine what they are saying about me at the old spot.

I realized that I need to calm down in traffic. There's no need to be cursing out someone who can't hear me. I had a touch of the road rage, but I'm cured now.

I realized that I miss blogging, but I don't miss the blog obsession. I'm going to try to find a happy medium.

And right now, I realize that I'm sleepy, so I'm gonna call it a night. I'll be around.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day

Apparently I forgot I had a blog, but here I am back again. It's Valentine's Day, the most irrelevant of the so called holidays for people like me: the perpetually unattached. I haven't celebrated for the last few years, but I know for many people this is a very important day. Valentine's Day can make or break a relationship. Here are a few dos and don'ts for having a Happy Valentine's Day from personal experience.

Don't be afraid to be original. A dozen red roses are nice, but something a little more creative will go a long way in impressing your date. Anyone can go to 1800Flowers.com and order a bouquet. Different and unique will keep your woman the envy of her friends

Make reservations. As a procrastinator, I've seen in the past that trying to find a restaurant at the last minute on Valentine's Day doesn't work. You don't wanna wind up taking her to the Waffle House.

Don't expect too much too soon. If you just met that man a month ago, don't assume that he will be getting you jewelry. And fellas, if you haven't had sex with her yet, don't assume that because you take her to Red Lobster that you are guaranteed to get some for the first time.

Fellas, if your woman says that she doesn't care about Valentine's Day, don't believe her. More than likely, she is gonna be sitting at work mad that the co worker she hates got flowers and she didn't.

Ladies, don't get your man flowers and teddy bears and stuff like that. He doesn't want them, and it will only embarrass him. A man only needs two things for V day. Food and sex. Pick one or pick both, but please don't give him the girly stuff that you want.

If you don't have a significant other, please do not fake it. I've seen people send themselves flowers from a so called secret admirer. We can see through that mess. Ain't nothing wrong with being single... you might even be able to hook up with another single person and have a good time.

Don't be surprised if you get the relationship talk over dinner. You may just be dating, but there's something about Valentine's Day that brings out the romantic in women. You may wanna be careful about inviting random girls out on this day. Next thing you know, your booty call is now your girlfriend.

Don't have 2 dates on Valentine's Day... Oh, wait maybe that was just me. I'll have to tell that story one day. LOL

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful Valentine's Day. Maybe next year, I'll be one of you romantic saps spending all my money for a Hallmark holiday. I don't sound bitter, do I? LOL Seriously, have a good day/week/month cuz who knows when I will post again.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Intoxicated Ruminations

February 2nd, 2007 - 3:00 Am - IHOP - Stone Mountain, GA

I was hungry after a late night at work so I stopped to get a Big Bacon Omelette from IHOP before heading home. I'm used to being the only one out and about at this time, so I was surprised when I saw the parking lot was full of people who had just left the club on a Thursday night. I think they were partying at The Atrium or possibly Strokers. As I waited for the 7 foot tall African hostess to bring my to-go order, I noticed that everyone seemed to be having much more fun than me and realized that I'm getting old. But that's neither here nor there. I was reading a text message on my phone when she walked in... in fact I smelled her before I saw her as she reeked of old liquor and Newports. She was about 5'5, although that could have been a result of the gold stilettos she wore. She had on a white low cut shirt and some camouflage capri pants that defied the 30 degree Atlanta weather. She sported a baseball cap that was slightly askew on her head and covered long straight blond hair. I glanced at her, noticing her alabaster skin, and then she spoke:

Black-White Girl: "For reals, yo! That bitch just threw up in my car"

I was taken aback for a second and then responded...

Me: "You talking to me?"

Black-White Girl: "Yeah, dawg! She threw up all over my window, and my jacket, and I'm out here and I'm mad cold yo!"

Me: "Who are we talking about?"

Black-White Girl: "Tina, man! She's out in the car laying in her own throw up. I need a fucking cigarette."

Me: "Word? That's messed up, Ma!" I replied and went back to pretending I was sending a text message.

I noticed her fidgeting and muttering to herself and immediately recognized the signs. The Black-White girl was drunk as hell. I can remember the days when that would have been me, minus the excessive forced Ebonics. It's been so long since I've been sloppy drunk in public, but seeing her made me flashback to those days.

November 25th, 1997 Savannah, GA

It was my 23rd birthday. Normally, 23 is not one of the big ones, but I was determined to have some fun. I was a recent college graduate with not much thought of the future besides what I was going to drink and where I was gonna get the weed from. I decided that I wasn't gonna hang with my girlfriend of three years who was home from graduate school for Thanksgiving break. (Coincidentally, that relationship didn't make it to the new year.) Instead, I met up with the fellas at Jimmy Boatwright's crib to get started on my long night of drinking and debauchery. When I got there, my two best friends, Kareem and Tori were there along with Jimmy and his brother Rashad, and some other cat, whose name escapes me. They pulled out the cheap ass Barton's gin, which was all our broke asses could afford at the time, and we started taking shots. Before I knew it, I was already tipsy. Then someone had the bright idea to mix the gin with with Sunny D. I drank cup after cup of this nasty concoction, until I was inebriated beyond belief. Then it was time to go to the club...

I don't really remember who was driving, but I know they were driving my mom's black Geo Metro towards Downtown Savannah. As was customary, blunts were rolled, we drank out of red plastic cups and freestyle raps were recited. When we finally arrived down on Broughton Street, I was so gone, that I was staggering and didn't care who knew I was drunk. In fact, I even announced my drunkenness to strangers, including a SPD officer who laughed it off. My homeboys, however, didn't see the humor in the situation and quickly shuttled me into the first club with a chance of being decent. We went to The Zoo. Wednesday nights were hip hop nights, they called it the Soul Kitchen. It was one of the only places in Savannah, a Northern ex-patriate like myself, could go to party to some East Coast music, without hearing the obligatory Master P or Mystical set. I had high hopes for the evening, as I just knew I was gonna have some fun.

As soon as I got in the club, however, I started feeling sick. The Barton's Gin started catching up with me and I had to sit down. I found a seat and lit up a Black and Mild, while waiting for the club to stop spinning. I watched the ladies dancing to Biggie and Wu Tang, but was too drunk to make my way to the floor. The next thing I know, Kareem is slapping me on my shoulder telling me to wake up. I had a beer bottle in one hand, which had spilled on my Polo jeans, and the burnt remnants of the plastic Black and Mild tip in the other hand. Who knows how long I was sleep, or for that matter, how I got the beer in first place? I just knew that getting up was not an option. I was drunk in public and I didn't care who knew.

Eventually, we left the club, although I don't remember when or how I made it to the car. I was sitting in the backseat drifting in and out of consciousness. This was the first and last time I drank to the point of passing out. I remember throwing up out the window of the car and I remember getting pulled over by the police on the highway, but it only came in flashes, like I was sitting in the dark and someone kept turning the light switch on and off. I woke up at Kareem's mother's house upstairs and with no recollection of how I got in the house, much less up the treacherous stairs. It was now Thanksgiving day, and I was still feeling the effects of the alcohol as I drove home the next morning/afternoon. I pulled up to my grandmother's house and then I noticed a bright orange streak on the side of the car. I looked a little closer and then it hit me: That was my Gin and Sunny D brightly contrasting against the black paint on the passenger side door. I scurried back to the whip and went to a car wash before anyone could see the mess I made in my mother's car. To top it off, I drank so much that my hands were shaking and I couldn't even hold a fork to eat Thanksgiving dinner. (That caused a bit of a problem at my girl's house, cuz apparently they thought I was being bougie by not eating their food. I blamed it on the flu. LOL) I think I really had alcohol poisoning that day.

February 2nd, 2007 IHOP - Stone Mountain, GA 3:15 AM

Finally, Hakeem Olajuawon's sister brought my food and I could go home. I looked up at Black-White girl and saw she was dead asleep, and drooling. I laughed to myself because I remember the days when that could have been me. Well, I wouldn't have had a grill in my mouth, but you get the point. I used to be the cat to hit the club every Wednesday - Saturday. Or do a dine and dash at the same IHOP at least once a month. Or smoke weed in the Marta station during Freaknik like it was legal. It was stupid, but I used to have fun. Am I smarter now, or just more boring? That's a rhetorical question... I'm afraid to see how some of you would answer. LOL