Everybody's Doing It/Subconscious

Everybody's doing it:

So why shouldn't I? Seems like everywhere I look, people are slacking on the blog game. I blame facebook and twitter. It's a lot easier to just write a one sentence blurb than an entire blog post. But that's not my reason for not writing. I just didn't feel like it. I had a routine that I've fallen out of, and am trying to get back, but I won't make any promises. I haven't posted in almost a week, but to be honest I haven't even really thought about it (except when Jameil is harassing me about my lack of posting.) I was even off work today, but still found other things to occupy my time. Anyway, I guess the first step to getting back in the blog routine is to actually write something, so here goes nothing...

Subconscious

The other day at work I realized that my subconscious made me do something that my conscious mind didn't realize. I admit this to you, because I just know that none of my regular readers (except Jameil) will judge me. Here goes: I realized that when having a conversation with a gay man, of which there are plenty at my job, I go out of my way to make sure that other people know I'm not gay too. This entails a subconscious deepening of the voice, putting extra distance between us, grabbing the booty of the first female that walks by, and mentioning my girlfriend more than usual. My conscious mind doesn't care what people think of me, but subconsciously I realize that I do. That got me thinking about some other things that my subconscious makes me do. Wanna read a list? Good, cuz here is one:

Flinch: I flinch when someone touches me. It can be something as simple as tapping me on my shoulder or someone trying to hug me. I can feel myself recoiling at the prospect of unsolicited human contact.

Get Nervous When My Mom Calls: I always get shook when I see Mom Cell on my caller Id. I don't know what I expect to hear, but I always assume the worst. Like either someone died, or I forgot someones birthday, I just always get a feeling of dread.

Turn the radio/tv when I hear the name Obama: I just don't wanna hear any more criticism. I think I take it way more personally than I should. My solution is to just avoid it.

Look away: I'm a people watcher. I'm always observing some odd behavior. But when someone sees me looking, I immediately turn away. Even if my conscious mind wants them to know that I see the crazy mess they are doing, my subconscious wont let me.

Put Pen in Mouth: When I want to smoke, my pen serves as a surrogate black and mild. My addiction is pathetic, I know. Please no lectures.

Pretend to be on phone: If I'm on break and someone approaches me, I pull the phone out real quick and pretend to be on a call. Its mad obvious, and one of these days, I'm going to hurt someone's feelings, but you know what, blame it on the subconscious.

There probably are some more, but now Jameil is on the phone and we are going to watch a movie. So I'll talk to you guys later...