Your Kisses Taste Like Amaretto

^^^^^That's what you would tell me if you were here with me and my lips right now.^^^^^

Jameil hates disclaimers, but here's one anyway...Let me just warn you that this post is gonna be extremely stream of consciousness, cuz I have nothing really to write about, but I wanted to post anyway.

I've had entirely too much amaretto today. Not because it has made me drunk, but just because I had too much without getting drunk. You may ask why am I drinking amaretto anyway? Well, it was the only thing containing liquor in the house other than the bottle of Hennessy that Senita left in the freezer last week and the hand sanitizer. But I was not feeling the Hen tonight, plus I had no chaser. I've had this particular bottle of Amaretto over 7 months. In fact, I remember when I bought it. It was New Years Day, and I was going to hang out with some friends. I bought this bottle and a bottle of Bacardi Select. The Select got kilt, but the amaretto remained untouched so i took it home with me. That was also the last time I've been to a liquor store. Wait, no I got some beer for a cookout a couple of months ago, but that doesn't count cuz I wasn't buying it for me. I mean, seriously, do I look like the type to drink Budweiser? I'm not that old...although I could be considered an elder statesman, especially in the blog world. It's like all you bloggers are 24-28, and me at 33 I seem mad old. Magnolia Peach (everybody go to her blog and harrass her about posting more. LOL) made me feel old the other day when she was writing about being in 4th grade in 1993. Yo, I was in college in 93! Sophomore year to boot. That was the time when I was hanging out with Tori in the student center every day after class and before work. That was when I was just coming into my own with the ladies. I got my first little taste of women appreciating me for my crazy, crazy brain. That was cool. Back then I used to wear Hilfiger, Fubu and Karl Kani. True story, I was in a store today and I saw all three of those designers clothes. I was dying laughing. I started to buy some just cuz I know how much you all love my 10 year old yellow hoodie. You know I live to entertain you guys. I just realized that if you haven't been reading very long, you may not know what I'm talking about, so I'll link that old post. You have to read the comments though. People roasted me for that hoodie for like months on end. Utter hilarity! Before I went off on that (those) tangent(s) I was talking about the song.

The Sweetest Thing by Lauryn Hill... If you didn't know that's where I got the title from then I don't wanna be your friend. LOL I'm just kidding. I'll still be your friend cuz apparently that's what I do. Someone told me that I don't know how to cut people off. I don't necessarily agree, but the way I cut people off is a little different. I'll take all I can take and then just stop answering the phone. It's mad abrupt and usually people don't even know what they did to make me stop messing with them. This is mostly on a friendship level. When it comes to a dating/relationship level, I usually make the woman break up with me. Like just do everything I can to make her mad enough to leave, short of cheating. I'm so not a cheater. I did it one time in my life and felt like a total heel. That was over 10 years ago, so the statute of limitations is up on that one. I'm officially not a cheater anymore. Speaking of Cheaters...where do they find these people to be on the show. I could never act an ass on TV like that. I ain't signing no release for nothing. If I ever was there, my face would be mad pixilated. Wait, what was I supposed to be talking about? Oh that's right, The Sweetest Thing.

Say, sweet thang. Can I buy you a fish sammich? Man, I love that movie. Can anybody name that movie without clicking the link? He also says.. Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burglar? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress. Hilarious!!! I don't buy DVDs but I would watch that one over and over again. (Hey, you asked me that question last night. Add this movie to that list.) I just tangentized again. Yeah, I made that word up. I often make up words. It's okay cuz I have an English degree and I'm being ironic. I'm a highly qualified word maker upper. Don't try this at home. If people don't know that you know that your made up word isn't real then they may just think you are stupid. Speaking of stupid people, Jesse Jackson. Uggh, for real Jesse? You just gonna go on Fox News and talk about cutting off another mans 'nads? I can't stand you, Jesse. Why were you on that channel anyway, bruh?

Anyway, let me get back to the original point of the post. The Sweetest Thing. I like that line about a kiss on a collarbone. I could totally do that to someone right now. That song was on the Love Jones soundtrack. I remember when I first saw that movie. I was with my college girlfriend and we were the only people in the theater that liked it. The Savannah hood figures were talking about how boring it was. Did I mention that I hate Savannah? That mentality is part of the reason. I also wrote a review for LoveJones for my college paper. I need to see if I can find that. It's probably in my sun room/storage area. I did find 3 notebooks of old rap lyrics. Some of them were written in pencil, so I can barely read them. The others were written in pen, but my handwriting looks like I had a stroke, then got hit by a car, then I tried to write during a train ride during an earthquake. You get it? I have horrible penmanship. I've told this story before I think, but I'm naturally left handed. My 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Bierman, decided that she wanted me to write with my right hand. I guess they didn't have any left hand desks at the time. Anyway, long story short. I never quite got the hang of neat penmanship with my right hand, and I no longer can write with my left hand. I do just about every thing else with my left hand, including holding the phone. I can't hold the phone to my right ear. It just feels wrong. Same thing with taking pictures of myself which I do daily now. Camera is always in my left hand. My left arm is exponentially stronger than my right arm. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a lame arm like dude from the Two Live Crew, but I can tell the difference. Dang it, I just strayed again..

What was I gonna say about "The Sweetest Thing?" Oh yeah, I like that song. The End!