Late Thursday Thirteen: Things I Don't Understand

1. Dow Jones – I guess since I work in the financial services industry, I should have a better grasp on this thing, but to me, it just seems like legalized gambling. Its like you aren’t really buying anything tangible with your money. You are betting on the future performance of a company. I also know that my 401k is taking a horrendous beating b/c of the stock market. Can I invest in something that is gonna always pay dividends…like cocaine? LOL

2. Obama makes you better – You don’t know how many times I’ve heard since the election that people feel better about themselves because Obama won. So basically what you are saying is that before the election, you felt like a nigger, but now you don’t? Look, I’m mad inspired as well, but I always had a (some would say inflated) high opinion of myself. He can’t make me be something I wasn’t already, nah mean?

3. Gone With The Wind – I made it through an hour of this 4 hour movie, and if I wasn’t black, I could see myself enjoying it. I just don’t know how in good conscience I can ignore the horrific racial undertones and root for these characters that are happily going to war to keep their slaves. I’m trying to just look at the movie on its merits, but I can’t separate reality from the fiction.

4. Weave - Let me start by saying, I have no problem at all with weave. If you wanna rock it, and it looks good, its all good with me. In fact, I don’t care what you do with your hair, as long as it looks good. Howsomever, I’ve recently noticed, that weave is getting out of control again. Where as it got to the point, where it was looking more realistic, lately it seems like we are going back to the old school days of just adding a whole bunch of weave that looks majorly synthetic. Its like an Al B Sure video with the video girls flinging their yarn-y hair all over the place. You can’t think that looks good, can you?

5. Good Hair - People are still talking about good hair? Why yes, they are! I've been letting my hair grow out, partially because I like it, and partially, because I'm too lazy to go to the barbershop. The other day at work, I got told that I had good hair. I must be mixed. I got some of what Obama got in him. I was like, what is this 1964 or something?

6. This thing on my shoulder – Yeah, I thought it was a pimple. Then it started growing and then I thought it was a boil, thanks to WebMd. Now, I don’t know what it is. I won’t go into anymore disgusting detail, but its annoying me.

7. Reality TV – Am I the only one that realizes that most of these shows follow the exact same format? How many different types of competitions can you have? How many terse, dramatic, heavily edited shows can there be? How many crybabies are there in this country? The way they cry at the drop of a hat is just annoying. Full Disclosure: Jameil got me liking Project Runway and True Beauty, but the rest I can’t get with, including Top Chef.

8. Why I was paying for anti virus… when I get free anti virus protection from Comcast? I feel like a chump for that one.

9. My President is Black - I like the song, but when I actually listened to the lyrics, I had to scratch my head. Its full of drug references like most Jeezy song's, but you woulda thought that on an ode to the president, he could have laid off the dreams of being Pablo Escobar. Just for one song, Jeezy? Please???

10. My lateness – I was doing so well. I had started getting to work on time, even early. Now, for the last month, I’ve been arriving at 11:59 or 12:02. If there was some traffic, I could see the problem. The problem is me. I’ve back slided into procrastination. Waking up at the last minute, taking too long in the shower, watching TV instead of getting ready for work. It sucks, I need to fix it. (Step One – Fix, Step Two – It, Step Three – Fix It!!) (fast forward to 6 minutes.)

11. People like me – I don’t get why people still call and text me. I can tell you if I got ignored as many times as I ignore other people, it would be a wrap. I know I suck for this, but I am who I am. I just don't get why people still try.

12 . Smoke detector – Why my smoke detector was beeping all night is a mystery to me. It could be that it needs a new battery if I didn’t replace it just last month. Also, once I took the battery out, why come is it still beeping? And why does it use a 9 volt battery? When was the last time you bought a 9 volt battery? I can answer for me… I had a hand held electronic football game in 8th grade. That was the last thing I had that used one of those, except for my smoke detector.

13. Why my girlfriend made me watch porn - LOL - I can see her jumping up and gesticulating at the computer right now, so I guess I should explain. We've been watching movies together on the phone. I made a list of some movies that were in the UF library and I have on Netflix Instant Viewing. One such movie was a Spanish movie called "Sex and Lucia." While that title should have clued us in that it was a little risque, the description of the movie didn't tell us that there would be like 10 minutes of almost real sex and constant nudity. I can't believe she made me watch that. I feel so violated. LOL