What I Want In A Woman

I was having a conversation with a friend last night about what we are looking for in a mate. I told her that my list was short and sweet. I figured that I wasn't that picky. I just wanted someone who was single and smart. My friend basically told me that I was full of shit, in a nice way. After I got off the phone, I started thinking, what do I really want in a woman? I came up with a list that is way too detailed to ever be encompassed in one woman. Then I narrowed it down to make it more realistic. This is what I came up with and why.

Single - I've spent too much time chasing women that I knew I couldn't fully have. I think a part of me knew that if I dealt with occupied women, I wouldn't have to fully commit myself 100% to another. I'm past that now, and if I have to give up my solitary time to develop a relationship, I think I can do it.

Smart - There's nothing worse than talking to someone who is way below your intellectual capacity. I don't yearn to have discussions about the theory of relativity, but I would like for a woman to have at least heard of E=MC2. I don't know what it means, but at least I know it's Einstein. I am thinker, and even if we don't think about the same things, I would like to know that the woman has some independent thoughts.

Feminine - I don't want a woman that can kick my ass, nah mean? But feminine can describe so many things, from the way she does her hair (you know I gotta thing for hair), to the way she dresses, to the way she smells, etc. I want a woman that embraces her femininity.

Challenging, but not too challenging - There's a difference between being stimulating and just damn difficult. That's a line that I often find myself trying to walk. I'm working on being less difficult. So, I need a woman that is in the same place. Disagree with me all you want, but be logical about it. One of my ex's (who is now a good platonic friend) used to be so contrary it was like if I said the sky was blue, she would say it was red just to disagree with me. It got to the point where I just shut down. On the contrary, I hate a yes-woman. Don't agree with me just to agree with me. Have your own opinions about things. If you think I'm wrong then challenge me. I welcome that.

Demeanor - You ever see a girl that would otherwise be attractive, but has that nasty "mad at the world" scowl? That's what I mean by demeanor. I want a woman that is not afraid to smile and be pleasant. I'm not talking about a pushover, but instead a woman that has a positive attitude about life, and isn't angry all the damn time.

Conversationalist - I've learned since I started blogging, that good conversation is essential to me. Talk to me about everything and anything and I'm hooked. A man can get sex anywhere, its rare to have that good conversation.

Likes to try new things - As any of my ex girlfriends will tell you, I'm essentially a boring person. I get stuck in my patterns and become content with the mundane. I need someone that not only likes to try new things, but challenges me to expand my horizons. I can do it if I have the right person to do it with.

If she has a kid... - Her kids should be the center of her life. As much as I like attention, I can't be a priority for a mother. A bad mother will turn me off faster than just about anything. I have a soft spot for the children, and I can't stand to see them being neglected.

Don't be an Aries - I mean enough already. If I meet one more Aries chick, I'm gonna lose my mind. Yeah, they are compatible with us Sags, but I can't take it no more. I'm putting myself on an Aries strike. No more Aries for at least one year! Okay, that's not realistic, so I guess I'll leave this one as negotiable.

I tried to focus on personality issues, rather than the physical or material. I've learned not to limit myself to my so called type. I mean how many 5'1" dark skinned chicks are there left for me to date. This is just my truncated list, I guess I am pickier than I thought I was. What about you? What are you looking for in a man/woman?

PS: I just remembered that I did one of these lists sometime last year. It's kind of similar, except in keeping with my old style of incorporating hip hop lyrics in every post, I included some quotes. I guess things haven't really changed that much for me, since I want a lot of the same things. Anyway, here is that post, if you care to read it.