Shocking Blogger Update!!! T. Cas to Rehab?!?!

Random Thought: "It's like Jurassic Park and I'm your sexasaurus" R. Kelly "Zoo" This dude is out of his mind... kinda like me. This post is all about being sarcastic, and parodying the pop culture world and those entertainment shows. And for those that didn't read my old blog, T. Cas was my old blogger name.


Welcome to Blogger Entertainment Tonight, I'm your host: Maria Meddle. On tonight's show, which blogger is really a nice guy even though he pretends to be a jerk? And which female blogger has a secret family life? Details on these shocking stories to come, but first our top story.



T. Cas goes to rehab??? Our special correspondent, Nathan Inquisidor has the story.



Nathan: Thanks Maria. Shocking news in the blog world today as T. Cas, who in recent months has been using his real name, Rashan Jamal, is headed to rehab. Only Blogger Entertainment Tonight has the story.

It's been a long time coming, but T. Cas has finally decided to enter rehab. Sources close to the reclusive blogger tell us that Rashan will be entering the Promises Residential Treatment center tomorrow. As you may recall, Promises is the same facility that helped Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears kick their addictions. While our sources were able to confirm that Rashan is en route to the center, they can't tell us exactly why he is seeking rehab.



Speculation is rife amongst the blogger community that T. Cas is addicted to drugs. They point to his sporadic posting and meandering random posts as a sign that he is in trouble. Others believe that T. Cas is seeking treatment for an alcohol problem. While other unnamed sources tell us mental illness is the culprit. We asked addiction specialist Danny Bonaduce for his take.



Danny: How the f*** should I know? I don't even know him.



While Danny Bonaduce refused to comment, we do have an interview with one of T. Cas' closest friends. We have blurred his image to protect his privacy.



Nathan: Why do you think T. Cas is going to rehab?


Mr X: It could be for a number of reasons. I mean, he has an addictive personality for sure. Just last week, I saw him eat an entire box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting. If that doesn't show that he has a problem, what does?

Nathan: We have heard about his eating disorder, but we were under the impression that he didn't eat enough. Doesn't he only eat once a day?


Mr. X: Yes, but that one meal is big enough to make up for missing breakfast and lunch. I'm just saying, don't get in between him and some chicken wings. Especially if they are teriyaki.


Nathan:

Shocking interview there. It could be drugs, alcohol, or food. No one really knows what led to the decision to go to rehab. But I promise you we will stay on this story until we find out.



Maria: Thanks, Nathan. We may just be a little closer to finding out. Only Blogger ET can bring you the exclusive interview with T. Cas coming up after the break.

(Theme Music plays)


Maria: And we're back. Blog world was thrown for a loop today, when news broke that noted blogger, T. Cas also known as Rashan Jamal would be going to rehab. Our investigative reporter, Fiona Fallacy caught up with T. Cas outside a local strip club. Here is her shocking report:



Fiona: Thanks Maria. Exclusive footage of a stumbling, T. Cas just hours after the rehab story broke. Here is my revealing interview with a broken man.



Fiona: T. Cas! Fiona Fallacy for Blogger ET. By now we have all heard that you are going to rehab.


T. Cas: What?!? Who told you that?


Fiona: Several close sources have informed us that you will be leaving tomorrow for an intensive treatment program. Now that your secrets out, why don't you tell us all about it? Why are you going to rehab?


T. Cas: Ummm... your guess is as good as mine. Rehab is a badge of honor now a days. You have to do it if your famous.


Fiona: Is it alcohol? Is that your problem? You look pretty drunk right now.


T. Cas: Nah, I'm good, I haven't been drunk in a minute. I just had a few beers in there, but I'm not even tipsy.


Fiona: How about drugs? You have tended to ramble on in some of your latest posts.


T. Cas: I mean, I haven't taken drugs this millennium. And even when I did, it was just weed. No hard stuff for me. Family history, ya know?


Fiona: But your eyes are so red?


T. Cas: Yeah, I got what you call sleepy eyes. But no drugs in my system. This craziness is natural

Fiona: So can you tell our viewers why you are going to rehab?

T. Cas: Well if you must know, I'm going to kick my addiction to sarcasm! It's become a real problem.

Fiona: Can you really go to rehab for that?

T. Cas: If Isaiah Washington can go to rehab for being homophobic and Eric Benet can go for sex addiction, then I can go for sarcasm. That is my biggest problem. I've hit rock bottom and there's nowhere to go but up.

Fiona: What prompted this decision? You've been sarcastic for as long as you have been blogging?

T. Cas: Well, I had one of those so called moments of clarity. I realized that nobody likes a smartass and if I'm ever going to fool some unsuspecting hot chick into carrying my baby, then I need to change my ways. Besides, I just dont feel like going to work, and it's covered by my insurance.

Fiona: Back to Maria in the studio

Maria: Shocking Stuff!!! We'll be sure to stay on top this breaking story as T. Cas. Goes to Rehab continues on Blogger Entertainment News.

(It wont really continue and yes, I am aware that I have serious problems. Blame it on the lack of sleep. LOL)