Confessions: Barbie Girl pt 1

I tried to get it all in one post, but then somebody distracted me. Now you get 2 parts. I'll try to write it as quickly as possible, but well, you know, it is what it is. I already had one confession this week.

Memorial Day 1999 – Savannah Georgia

The air hung thickly in the Savannah , Georgia night. I was working… on a holiday no less. I lamented the numerous barbecues I missed out on as I toiled away for much less money than I was worth. I was acting manager, a position that came with the prestige of the title, but with none of the perks. I still wasn’t getting a salary, but at least I only had to talk to customers in escalated situations. It was dead that night. Nobody was calling in on a holiday, much less at 9 PM. I sat talking to my soon to be girlfriend and my current almost jump off about anything and nothing just trying to pass the time. I still remember what I was wearing: Red Fila shorts and a matching red and blue Fila shirt. I know I know, but it was 1999 and I was fresh. LOL Anyway, the night and the previous nights clubbing had my head swimming, so I stepped outside to smoke a black. I usually went in the back and watched the airplanes in the adjoining airstrip, but this night I decided to sit in my ride and listen to music. I planned on taking an extended break, perhaps even taking a nap in the front seat laid back. That’s when she walked up on me…

Mr. Wel.don, can I see you for a minute when you finish your smoke?

Man, what was she doing here? LQ was the head of the whole center, a short, military woman that brought that same tenacity to her job. At times it was comical, but I wouldn’t want to be on wrong end of her boot camp tactics. I was a little concerned when I saw her at 10 PM on a holiday, especially since I was slacking on n the job instead of watching the troops. I quickly extinguished my cigar and headed back in the building after a quick pit stop to wash the smell of tobacco off me. She was waiting in her office when I arrived.

Mr. We.ldon. Have a seat.

I obliged. Now, I figured that she was gonna say something about me deserting my post, as she often talked in military terms with her subordinates, but I wasn’t going to volunteer anything.

Did you enjoy your break?

Yes, Ma’am.

I wanted to talk to you about something.

Uh oh, here it comes. Really it wasn’t that serious, even managers are allowed to take a break, right?

Okay!

We have an opportunity to open up another center in Kansas . I would like for you to head out there and train them.

Wow, really?

You've been doing a great job for us and I think this could be a good thing for your career.

When would the training be?

Can you leave tomorrow?

Huh? Um, I guess I can. I mean, this is just coming a little out of nowhere. I’m definitely grateful for the opportunity.

We talked a while longer about the logistics. I would fly out from Savannah to Kansas City, Missouri (Henceforth KC MO) the following morning I would then drive from KC MO to Kansas City Kansas (Henceforth KC K) in a rental car provided by the company. They also got me an extended stay hotel and a company credit card for emergency expenses. I knew I wasn’t gonna use that. I would just pay my own way, and get reimbursed through per diem. I was ready to roll. When I got there I wasn’t quite prepared for what I would find there.

The majority of the staff were melanin challenged. The majority of everybody around me was melanin challenged. In fact in the city of KC K , it seemed like I was one of only a few African Americans around. No matter, I can work with and get along with anyone, but it was just strange to me. The people were mad hospitable offering to show me around, cracking jokes with me, and learning from what I was teaching. We all got along great. So when Friday night came and they asked me to join them for a night on the town, I gladly accepted. That’s where I met Barbie.

Barbie isn’t her real name, it was Katie or Ashleigh or Jillian; something that lets you know that there aren’t too many brothers in the blood line. She was a friend of one of the people I was hanging out with. She was literally a life sized Barbie doll, from the alabaster skin, to the golden yellow hair, which she annoyingly flipped every 8 seconds. (I timed it LOL) She had that classic Barbie thing going on, big up top, on the bottom not so much. Small waist, tig ol bitties that I think were fake. Her first words to me were: Do you play football?

Whatever, chick. Don’t try to gas me. Although I know I have broad shoulders, I’m about 4 inches to short to make an impact on the gridiron. But whatever, for some reason she was really into me. I thought of the words that James, one of the few Black employees, dropped on me when he heard I was hanging out with his white co workers. He said..

"Man, these white girls out here are a different breed. You don't even have to try and you gonna fall into some white p*ssy."

I laughed it off of course. I wasn't interested. I had a girl or two at home I was trying to get at, and they had one thing in common. They definitely were not white. Call em dark and darker. Anyway the white co workers took me to get drinks at River Walk in KC MO, I think its called. But even before we got there, they had me drinking Canadian Club, so I was pretty blitzed. Barbie was hanging on me all night as we bar hopped. There was a group of about 10 of us that went out that night, but inevitably Barbie would wind up sitting next to me at the table. She was mad touchy feely, always brushing up against me or rubbing her (no) booty on me on the dance floor. At some point of the night, she asked me where I was staying. I don't remember this, but apparently I told her the hotel was and my room number. It musta been the liquor talking for me.

Anyway, I got back to my room and slept off the alcohol. I spent that Saturday cleaning up a mess between the potential jump off and the soon to be girlfriend. Apparently I had to choose, but that's a different story for a different blog. That night I had no plans except some phone boning and possible getting something to eat. Around 7 o'clock, there was a knock on my door. I opened it up to find Barbie standing there with a 5 pack of Sam Adams and a pizza.

Room Service... she joked.

I wasn't really laughing but I let her in anyway. It would have been rude not to. We sat around and chatted for awhile until it started getting uncomfortable. . I then suggested that she call her friends (my coworkers) so we could go out. Some of them came to my hotel room armed with that damn Canadian Club whisky. We took shots, (racist statement time: Why does it seem like white people always have something to celebrate? And why must they celebrate with shots?) I can't remember how many I took, but I know after awhile I just wanted them to get the hell outta my room so I could fall asleep. They were still there when I succumbed to sleep. The next thing I remember was the morning. Every morning I was in Kansas, the people in the room next to mine would blast Bills Bills Bills by Destiny Child when they were getting ready for work. It woke me up every time, and this day was no exception. When my eyes actually opened, a feeling of panic overtook me. I looked over and saw Barbie laying next to me, covered by a sheet, but obviously butt ass naked. What the hell happened here last night???