Making The Blog Pt. 5

I tried to recreate what I wrote the other day. It may not be as funny cuz I'm wide awake now as opposed to Thursday night when I was high off of benadryl. Anyway, here is Making The Blog, part 5...

Click Here For: Part One, Two, Three and Four...


Last we saw- Rashan was about to unleash his master plan that would essentially weed out the weakest members of the teams.

New Scene:
Rashan walks in decked out in his vintage yellow fubu hoodie adorned by his Armani blazer lookin extra fresh. He stops in front of the camera, removes his Gucci shades and just smiles at the ladies. Jameil walks around him shaking her head and Diva follows mushing Rashan in the head.

Diva: Come on bighead. Nobody wanna see all dat. And I don't have all day to wait for this. Can you get to it please?

Rashan gives the side eye and regains his swag.

Diva: What I tell you about men giving the side eye, Jizzy? That was mad soft.

Rashan: Alright bloggers, it's time to truly test your dedication to this competition. If you thought it was hard before, you haven't seen nothing yet.


Confessional Cam
Tom_Gurl: The suspense was killing me. I wish Jizzy would just come out with it.

Resume Scene:
Rashan: So in true MTB fashion we are gonna split these teams up even further and see what you are made of. Y'all know I'm obsessed with the Utterz joint, right? Now we gonna get to hear what all of you sound like. I want you to do a voice post for me... but there's a twist.

Bloggers look around at each other wondering what Jizzy has in store

Confessional Cam:
Pocahontaz: For real, all this waiting is driving me crazy, just tell us what we have to do.

Rashan: The next challenge is gonna require some real stamina. Do you guys think you have what it takes complete what I have in store?

Jameil: Can we stop all this suspense building and just cut to the chase please?

Rashan: Fine. This isn't gonna be just for me. Each team is gonna have to stand and recite their posts at the Five Points Marta station. Your goal is to collect money so that you can hike yo' ass up to Subway and get me a Tuna Footlong Sub- no combo necessary. To make it into a real challenge, you'll need to recite your posts while holding your laptops. Any questions?

Silence

Confessional Cam
Monie: This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. I hate those voice posts. Most people read at work and can't even hear the damn things. But I'll do it, I guess.

Resume Scene:
Rashan: Alright then. I forgot to tell you the best part... Y'all going head to head in this joint. Straight competition style. Diva, let these cats know who they will be facing.

Diva: It's gonna go down like this:

Caesar vs. La
The Goddess vs. Monie
Magnolia vs. X Factor
Tom Gurl vs. Epsilonicus
Desy vs. Pocahontaz
Dejanae vs. Stace

Jameil: Everybody get to work. The funnier your voice post is, the more money you can collect for Jizzy's Tuna Sub fund.

New Scene: 5 points train Station - Downtown Atlanta
The camera shows passengers waiting for their train. A few are listening to iPods. A couple are reading books. Guys in baggy jeans are trying to chat up girls in hotel uniforms. Trains whiz by.

Jameil: Okay, guys we are here. You'll have 3 hours to recite your posts for as many people as possible. Remember..Jizzy is always watching.

Diva: No, really. He's watching. He told me a story about how he likes to watch. It disgusted me. Pervert!!!

Confessional Cam:
Rashan: I'm saying... I like to watch. How does that make me a perv? I'm a visual creature...

Resume Scene:
The bloggers are grouped in pairs approaching people in the train station trying to read their blogs to them. Caesar approaches a lady in a business suit. Her face is blurred because she wouldn't sign the release to use her image.

Caesar: Excuse me, lady. Can I have a minute of your time?
Lady: I got to go.
Caesar: I'm saying, you waiting for the train. It ain't here yet. Lemme read you something.
Lady: Leave me alone.

Confessional:
Caesar: That f*ckin lady was a racist. She sees a young Black man and immediately thought I was gonna rob her. She coulda listened for a minute.

Resume Scene: La is sitting on a bench in front of the Northbound train. 2 young guys walk up to her.

1st guy: Hey, shawty. What yo name is?
La: I'm La!
2nd guy: What you doing sitting over here by yourself. You want some company?
La: Sure, come on.

Confessional:
La: Normally, I would never talk to these clowns, but I need to read my post to as many people as possible, so I'll put up with them.

Resume Scene: La is faux flirting and reading the blog to the guys. They leave and she holds up a $20 bill at the camera.

Confessional:
La: (laughing) Guys are so easy... I didn't even have to ask for it.

Resume Scene: Dejanae and Stace are on the eastbound train platform. Dejanae approaches a tall brotha with locs.

Dejanae: I'm a read you some poetry, man...
Loc Brotha: Cool, my sister.

Camera shows her reading her blog. The brother is enthralled.

Loc Brotha: My sista, that was enlightening. Let me bless you with one of my pieces.
Dejanae: Nah, that's okay. I gotta go now.
Loc Brotha: My Black Queen...Deep as the Euphrates...Hot as the Serengeti....

Confessional
Stace: God, I hate this wack poetry jam. I can't believe people are really into this. But I know what I have to do...

Resume Scene:
Stace: (poetically) Dreaming of a Black Prince/to penetrate my defense/it may not be common sense/but the Black love is immense...

A crowd starts forming around Stace, Dejanae and the loc brotha... They nod their heads to Stace's mock poem. People start putting dollars in hat.

Confessional:
Dejanae: I can't believe they were falling for that bootleg poetry. That sh*t wasn't even real.

Stace: People are like my kindergarten class. I talked to them like they were kids and they ate it up. Did I mention I hate wack poetry? But it worked for me.

Resume Scene: A montage of all the other bloggers approaching passengers, some successfully, others with no luck. Jay-Z's "Excuse Me, Miss" plays in the background. (Get it, cuz they are talking to strangers. LOL) As the song ends, Jizzy walks in the train station flanked by his entourage...

Rashan: Ay, yo! Time's up, bloggers. Everybody gather around...

Confessional:
Desy: I know I made a lot of money out here. I just don't know if I got more than Pocahontaz. She was talking to everyone about all the latest celebrity gossip. People love gossip.

Resume Scene: Everybody hops on a train. The doors close and the camera shows all the bloggers sitting down. R. Jizzy is standing up in the center of the train.

Rashan: I rented out this train so I could talk to y'all about today's assignment. Today, you had to read your blogs to anybody that would listen and collect money for it. How'd y'all do?

X Factor: I did pretty good. People are surprisingly generous.

Rashan: So, you think you can blog for money?

X Factor: I don't know about that, but it was nice.

Rashan: Right, Right! I hear that. But for real... I'm mad disappointed in all of you though...

Bloggers look confused.

Epsilonicus: What'd we do wrong? We just did what you told us to do.

Rashan: Y'all really don't know what you did wrong? You just gonna sit here and act like you don't know. That's what's hot in the streets? Yo, Jam! Yo, Diva!

Jameil: Wassup, Jizzy!

Diva: Don't "yo" me!

Rashan: My bad... Ladies, you wanna tell them what they did wrong today?

Confessional:
The Goddess: I can't even imagine what they are gonna say? All I know is that I did my assignment correctly.

Magnolia Peach: Here comes Jizzy and his mind games. I wish he would just say what he means for once...

Resume Scene:
Jameil: I sure will... All of you violated the most basic rule of blogging today.

Diva: Yeah, what you did wrong was...

Cut to commercial...