Dear Spring

Dear Spring,

What up homey? When last we spoke we had some beef. I'm not even talking about the allergies or how you left your pollen all over the ride. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about 2007. You had me on some depression stuff, but I'm here to let you know, its not going down like that this year. I know I've always been partial to Autumn, but you and me have to ride together for 3 months, so we need to come to an understanding. There will be no more messing with my life like you did last year. I can hear you now saying its not entirely your fault, and you're right. Winter played a big part in it, but we since have made up and are old friends once again. I can't say the same for you just yet.

Last year about this time, I was going through some things. Nah, that ain't strong enough. I was going through some shit. Between the broke down cars (plural), and the job making significantly less than I was used to, to the females messing with my head, it just was not a good time for us. I mean really, it pains me to read the garbage I was writing. Or rather not writing because I only posted a total of 11 times in February, March and April. Some of the stuff was completely nuts, some of it just revealed that I was depressed or something. The drafts that I didn't post are even worse. I was truly on some Oscar the Grouch stuff. That's your fault, my dude! Spring is supposed to be the time of new beginnings, but you had me dwelling on hurtful days gone by instead of getting past the pain.

I think about that time last year, and I just was not myself, Spring. See, I'm the guy that rolls with the punches, the one that doesn't let stuff bother him, the one that laughs in the face of adversity. I'm so glad that I'm beyond the mess that my life was in last year. Remember that post I did about Spring Cleaning? On the surface it seemed to be about getting rid of stuff I don't need anymore, but it was really about cleaning out my life of all the negative energy I felt was surrounding me. It took a minute, but like George Bush in a flight suit: Mission Accomplished! You didn't help much, luckily Summer had my back.

Even though I still have all the stuff I mentioned in that post, like the FUBU hoodie and jersey, more MP3's than I will ever get around to listening to and I've added to my old no longer used remote control drawer, the important things have changed. I've cleaned out my soul so to speak. I'm really good. You know how when you ask someone how they are doing, they always respond with "I'm fine" or "I'm good?" That's my reality right now. I am really amazed how much differently I feel now than I did last year. We need to keep this momentum going. Spring, no matter how much you and I argued last year, we have to put that behind us and work on the future.

The Real Rashan is back. Not that complaining, self loathing bitchassnigga you turned me into last year. This year, I'm a beast! Spring, I'm taking you by storm. (Speaking of storm, can I get a few days without rain or snow? Thanks.) This is my season. And for real, its not about going to the park, or cookouts with friends, and the emergence of the girls with the short shorts, although I thank you for all of those things. Spring, what I'm talking about is my piece of mind. I've not had anything to really complain about since last Summer, and I expect that you and I are gonna keep that streak going.

So Spring, let's make 2008 infinitely better than 2007 was. Nobody wants to see a return of last year's Rashan, especially me. Isn't it much better when I can just be the man that I want to be? None of those married women in my life, none of that being broke stuff, none of that retreating from everyone and everything I hold dear. My people need me and I need them. What better time to expand our relationship that with you, Spring! Let's get this thing rolling. You do your part, and I'll do mine and together we can be a force. You know no matter how dysfunctional our relationship was last year, Spring is a time to start anew. Just think about it, please?

Peace and Blessings,

Rashan Jamal