The Tag Team Interview

I tell you, the people I meet are stranger than fictional characters. I was leaving work the other day when a couple of new co workers decided to tag team interview me. It went a little something like this:

Co-Worker 1 - Where are you going?
Me: It's time to go home.
Co Worker 2 - Wait, talk to us for a minute. We don't get off for another hour, so entertain us.
Me: Entertain you? We bout to take it to the house.
Co Worker 1 - Who is we?
Me: Figuratively speaking, I talk about myself in the fourth person collective.
Co Worker 2 - What does that mean?
Me: Nothing, I just talk sometimes. Anyway, I will see you guys tomorrow.
Co Worker 1 - Wait!
Me: What's up?
Co Worker 1 - What did you do this weekend? What book is that you are reading? Is it good?What's up with the glasses? Where did you get those shoes? Where do you live?
Me: Uh okay? You gotta lot of questions.
Co Worker 2: We just want to get to know you.
Me: Okay, let me see if I caught all that. I went to the Stevie Wonder concert on Friday and watched football and slept Saturday.
Co Worker 1 - How was the concert?
Me: Wait, let me try to answer your other questions before you add to the list. I can only remember so many at a time.
Co Worker 1: What makes you think you are making the rules?
Co Worker 2 - Yeah!
Me: Okay, then. Sorry. The concert was good..(.blah, blah, blah.)
Co Worker 2 - Okay, now answer the rest of her questions.
Me: Let's see I live on the eastside. The book is Infidel. I only read like 40 pages, so I dont know if its good yet. I am wearing the glasses because I can't see, and I am resting my eyes from my contacts. Did I miss anything?
Co Worker 1 - The shoes?
Me: Oh, the Polo joints. I got them at Northlake Mall.
Co Worker 2: They are cute.
Me: Just what every man wants to hear. His shoes are cute.
Co Worker 1: They are cute. So are you married?
Me: Nope (holding up my hand so they can see no ring)
Co Worker 2: You gotta girlfriend?
Me: Nope
Co Worker 1: Why not? Are you gay?
Me: Hel.. No, I'm not gay. Do you think I'm gay?
Co Worker 1: You never know in Atlanta.
Me: No, I'm not gay.
Co Worker 2: So why don't you have a girlfriend?
Me: Don't know, just don't.
Co Worker1: So you're a playa?
Me: Huh? Where do you get that from?
Co Worker 2 : You don't have a girlfriend, you probably just sleep with a lot of women and then don't call them after.
Me: Have you been reading my diary or something?
Co Worker 1: So it's true! You a dog! I knew it.
Me: Nah, its not true. You guys are bugging tonight. I'm just not in a relationship, doesn't mean that I'm a dawg or I'm gay. I'm just me.
Co Worker 2 : How old are you? What sign?
Me: 32, Sagittarius.
Co Worker 1: You know co worker 2 is 32 too?
Me: Oh. I'm sure she is glad that you told her age.
Co Worker 2: You got kids?
Me: Nope
Co Worker 2: Want kids?
Me: Two - Aaliyah and Christopher.
Co Worker 1: You already got the names picked out? You know you gotta get a girlfriend first?
Me: Not necessarily... but yeah I hear ya!
Co Worker 2: So what about the girl you went to the concert with?
Me: Who said I went to the concert with a girl?
Co Worker 1: You did, though, right?
Me: Yeah, what about her?
Co Worker 2: How come she's not your girlfriend?
Me: You guys are getting awfully familiar.
Co Worker 1: Come on..just tell me.
Me: We just dating. It's not a relationship.
Co Worker 2 - Is that what you want or is that what she wants?
Me: It's what we both want. Can I go home now? You are getting too personal!
Co Worker 2: Okay, I can tell its a sensitive subject. I'll back off. So, how long you been "dating" her? What's her name?
Me: Damn, I gotta go. Man, its late.
Co Worker 2: You going to see her tonight?
Me: Nope
Co Worker 1: Why not?
Me: Cuz, I'm going home. It's 1 in the morning.
Co Worker 2: What are you gonna do tonight?
Me: Probably watch a movie, or mess around on my computer.
Co Worker 1: What movie?
Me: The Prestige, I started it but haven't finished it.
Co Worker 2: That movie sucked. The end where (proceeds to tell the end of the movie)
Me: Gee, thanks. I didn't want to be surprised by that.
Co Worker 2: Oops. It wasn't good anyway.
Me: Okay, I'm really leaving now. I hope you have been entertained enough.
Co Worker 1: Come on, just 30 more minutes.
Me: In 30 minutes, I will be on 285, bout to be home. You ladies have a good night.
Co Worker 1: Okay, then. Be that way. You just gonna leave us here bored.
Co Worker 2: Yeah, we thought you were better than that.
Me: Oh, a guilt trip huh? Unless your name is Sandi and you gave birth to me, guilt doesn't work on me. I'm outta here.
Co Worker 1 and 2: Bye, Rashan!!!
Me: Aiight, see ya tomorrow.