Friday, September 7, 2007

Unsolicited

People say and do the darndest things. Too much unsolicited stuff going on this week.

Unsolicited Advice of the Week: You are a natural. You should be a trainer. This is after I ran the first part of our team meeting today.

Unsolicited Date of the Week: The Kenyan woman at work who said that if I do something or another, she would take me out on the town, in an evening gown. I don't remember asking you for a date.

Unsolicited Conversation of the Week: On break at work, this lady who sounds like Weezy Jefferson decided to tell me about how her daughter is getting divorced and will be looking for a new man.

Unsolicited Text Message of the Week: In case you cared, I'm moving on October 1st. You could have at least called and checked on me. You can be so insensitive sometimes.

Unsolicited Email of the Week: The religious email that I got from my grandma, my mom and my mother's husband within an hour of each other. I can't really tell them not to send me that stuff even though I don't like the "forward this or go to hell" tone of the email.

Unsolicited Backhanded Compliment of the Week: I like that tie. You can look nice when you want to.

Unsolicited Sales Pitch of the Week: Hey, homey! I got them I-phones for $100. When I sarcastically asked how to activate a stolen phone, he got mad and said, Fuck you if you don't want it.

Unsolicited MySpace Friends Request of the Week: ChinaDoll aka the crazy girl that used to stalk me in Savannah, and now is stalking me on MySpace. This has to be the 7th or 8th time I have denied her and she keeps trying.

Unsolicited Relationship Advice of the Week: You should go ahead and wife her. I told you we are just dating, so stop trying to make us a couple.

and finally the Unsolicited Panhandling Moment of the Week: This guy that I have never seen before in my life asked me to hold $3 so he could get a pack of condoms. Da hell?

Aiight, have a good weekend. Hopefully, I'll have something exciting to write about next week. Keep it real, yo!!!