Monday, October 8, 2007

You Are NOT The Father

My biggest fear in life, besides midgets and conjoined twins, is to one day have a child and then find out its not really mine. I'd like to think it couldn't happen to me, but I realize that most people cheat, so it's always a possibility. I couldn't imagine being in a position where I was unsure if my child was really mine. The reason I'm writing about this today is a conversation I was having at work yesterday. This woman is pregnant and has no idea who the father is. What's worse, is there are 3 possibilities. I'm all for free love and all but with that comes responsibility. You would think that if there are going to be multiple partners there should at least be some sort of safe sex going on. Call me old fashioned, but I think that cheating should only be done with one person at a time. How dare you cheat on the dude that you are cheating with? It's just not right.

I'm making jokes about it, but it really bothered me when she was talking about it. I don't really know her like that and she was just volunteering all her business to a bunch of strangers. It's like we were on a talk show. I was trying to stay out of the conversation, because I know my smart ass would have said something inappropriate, like "were you trying to win a Guinness World Record for Most Guys did in a 24 hour period?" But then she asked me straight up what I thought about it. I started to be diplomatic, then I thought better of it and kept it real with the woman. I told her that I thought she was being irresponsible and that as soon as the child is born she needs to have a blood test to determine paternity. (I know they have those tests you can get while the child is still in the womb, but I doubt she would pay for one of those.) I feel strongly that she shouldn't allow her boyfriend to get all attached to the child if there is a possibility its not his. Of course, she's not going to do that. Whether the child is his or not, his name will be on the birth certificate because he has no idea about her extra curricular activities.

What happens when they break up? Does she continue to have him claim a kid that may not be his? Do they go on Maury Povich and have paternity tests? I don't know what's the deal with her. Or maybe I'm just not being realistic. Maybe there are too many men out there that don't take care of their children and she feels like she needs to keep the one that will, even if its not his child. And to confess to infidelity would probably ruin their relationship, although its probably already ruined if she needs to sleep with two other dudes. I don't have the answers. What do you think? You ever known someone in that situation? What advice did you or would you give them? I know I'm looking at it from a man's perspective and I know I would be devastated if it happened to me. I'm interested to know what everyone else thinks.