Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Brett Favre

"This will be my last post. I can't continue on with blogging. There's just too much negativity out there. I don't feel appreciated for what I do. Maybe one day, I'll tell the whole story. But for now I need to focus on the next phase of my life and I can't blog and live at the same time, can I? That's almost as hard as chewing gum and walking. The truth will come out one day and you'll see why I had to fade to black. Too many people that don't know me were judging me and I'm a sensitive soul. I'll miss you guys. You really brought a lot to my life, and I'm sad to be moving on, but I must." - Blogger X upon his/her retirement.

Its not so much that I'm calling you a liar, I'm just saying I don't believe you.


Semantics, I know. In all actuality, I am calling you a liar. Before any lurker out there gets his/her thongs in a bunch, I'm not talking to any ONE person in particular. I'm talking to all of them people that make a show out of quitting blogging, but don't ever go away. It just is annoying when you see this act and you know its not real. We all know you ain't really quitting. Well, let me take that back, I know you ain't quitting. Everybody else doesn't seem to get it. Or maybe they just like stroking egos. That ain't me. Get your confidence boost from them other people begging you to stay. I ain't the one. Besides, I know you gonna come back like Jordan wearing the 45 anyway. Just keep it real with us. You need a break. Okay, then take a break. No need for all the fanfare and dramatics. You, sir or ma'am are an attention whore, just like the majority of bloggers, present company included. There is no way you can stay out of the limelight once you get a taste of it. You ain't hardly fooling me! But if you gon quit, then quit! Peace out, homey! Audi 5000! ABCya! Love Peace and Hairgrease! Shalom! Aloha! Kick rocks (in Jesus Sandals!) Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish! Later, alligator! Catch on the flipside! Hasta La Vista! So long, farewell, Auf Weidersehen, goodbye! Be Swayze! Be outta here... like last year! YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!


While I'm on the subject, let me just keep on alienating people. Do me a favor, bloggers. DO NOT EVER THREATEN TO STOP BLOGGING!!! I'm saying... Are you threatening me? Don't do that! Either stop or don't, but don't drag it out. (Dreamy the Cop, let me make it clear this time. I'm not talking about you. I know you had a good reason. LOL) Let me tell you what I'm gonna do if I see a retirement threat. Remove your link from my favorites, stop reading, and keep it moving. There's way too many blogs out here for me to be trying to talk you out of your supposed "retirement." Just go ahead and do it. Or don't. I don't care one way or the other. You won't get any comments from me begging you to stay. Do your thing!

One more! LOL - Don't call it a comeback? Those posts are just... uggghhh. Really, I won't call it a comeback. It's not a comeback if you take 6 months off and then post one measly post and stop again. That's not a comeback, that's a tease. Quit being a blog tease, people! Here's what I'm gonna do if I see that post: I'm gonna monitor the situation before I invest myself again. If you don't have another post in a week, you stay in the deleted files. I'm not sorry, but that's the way it is. You don't leave the orange juice in the fridge with just a swallow, so don't do the blog that way either. Come back for real, or stay away for real. All this intermittent stuff just gets on my nerves. Crap or get off the pot, nah mean?

Ol' fake retiring, threatening to quit, pseudo comeback having Brett Favre lookin' boy.