I Could Never Run For Office

This was sparked by an incident that just happened. It's strange how my brain goes from one simple thought, to this monstrosity of a blog post.

I was at the local QT filling up the Buick with $58.87 of regular unleaded. I'm cleaning out the car while the gas pumps when this SUV pulls up next to me. At first I'm looking like, who is this rolling up on me and go for my gun...I be lying. I don't have a gun. I'm just kidding. Anyway, I was like why is this truck so close to me? The window rolls down and these two middle aged white women start looking at me. I ignore them and continue to gather up all the little scraps of gum wrappers that seem to magically accumulate under the passenger seat, when I accidentally make eye contact...

"Sir, can you help us out on gas?"
"Nah, I ain't got it."
"You sure you can't spare a few gallons?"
"A few gallons? Most people beg for change. How you gonna ask a complete stranger for a few gallons? That's 12 dollars." I know, I'm a jerk!
"Come on, sir!"
"Sorry, I ain't got it."

As they drove away, the first thought in my head was this: what has the world come to when white people are asking me for money and calling me sir? Yeah, I could never run for office. I think I'm kind of racist cuz that ish made me feel good. Like I had overcome. I know that's not right, but that's the real. I got racist tendencies, I think we all do. I'm not racist like I hate other races, but I damn sure don't downplay the differences between us. As much as people like to homogenize our so called melting pot, Black people are different than White people are different than Asians are different than Latinos. Politicians have to pretend that's not the case. Well, except for Hillary. You know she is the White America's candidate. (perhaps she misspoke again. LOL) As much as I admire Barack Obama, it couldn't be me. I would be calling cats out for their racism. Consequently, I wouldn't get elected. But that's not the only reason I couldn't run for office.

The whole character issue in politics would preclude me from seeking public office. While I'm living legally now, there was a time when I would just as easily take your stuff as talk to you. Matter of fact, don't cross me, cuz I may not be fully rehabilitated yet. LOL. I fashioned myself as a modern day Robin Hood. I would rob from the rich and give to the poor. The poor in most cases just so happened to be me. There were just certain items back in the day that I couldn't fathom paying for. For examples, batteries. Why should I pay for batteries when it is so easy to just open the package and slide them in my pocket? And condoms. I'm the reason that Kroger has them things locked up now a days. Them joints were expensive to a poor college student and who wanted to spend all day in the clinic getting those cheap unlubricated Li.festyles in the grey packages that they gave out. That's not to say that other politicians don't steal, but they did/do it on a totally different scale. When I did my dirt my hands actually got dirty.

What about the drugs? Some politicians will admit that they smoked a little weed, but they always do in regretful tones. I can't bring myself to apologize for doing something that most people try in their younger years. I don't think weed was a mistake. Nobody got hurt from me burning a few blunts. I never had to perform illicit sexual acts to get high, so what's the big deal? Weed, in my opinion shouldn't even be illegal. If I can get drunk legally, why can't I get high legally? (thats another post for another time.) And though I haven't actively smoked the wacky tobacky since April 24th, 1999, I'd be lying if I said that I never wanted to do it again. Weed is from the earth...God put this here for me and you...take advantage man...take advantage. If I ran for office, they probably would find my blog and read about all my high adventures. Let me itemize some of them for you just to make it easier for my opponents... There's this story.... and this one... and can't forget about this one... You want more just go through my archives. Go ahead and disqualify me from the race right now. LOL

You know how I said I be lying? Well, I don't be lying when it comes to saving peoples feelings. I've been accused of being insensitive. I know that's not the ideal quality for someone in public office, but I can't help it. I call stupid by its name: STUPID!!! I don't have the gene that tells me to sugarcoat stuff. If you do something dumb, why am I the wrong one for telling you it's dumb? Empathetic? Not so much, but that's me. Yet another reason I couldn't run for office. (Along these same lines, I think that once you reach a certain threshold, certain rights should be taken away. If you have 7 kids and none of your baby daddies are taking care of their children, you should lose the right to have sex with whoever you choose. I think the government should pick your next coitus partner and your tubes should be forcibly tied. Just an example. LOL)

Finally, this one is not a joke at all. I can try to make it funny, but it wont work. I believe that the inherent design of capitalism is flawed. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. In order to keep the system going, exploitation of the working class is tolerated, if not encouraged. That's why you have the majority of the country's wealth residing in a disproportionately small elite group. I'm no economist and I don't have any facts or figures to back this up, although a quick Google search may yield some answers. But this I know in my heart, supply and demand without checks or regulation will never completely work. Without some sort of intervention, what you will have will be an aristocracy profiting from the labor of the working class until the working class finally revolts against their oppressors. I'm not saying its gonna happen anytime soon, and America does have certain checks that prevent it from being as bad as it could be, but I personally think we need more. We need things like Universal Health Care, and educational standards. It's not as radical an idea as it may sound. I'm not a communist, although I did think I wanted to be one as a teenager, but I do believe that we can't solely allow the doctrine of supply and demand dictate our country.

Take it back to the anecdote I presented to start this post. Gas is $3.88 per gallon. It's not because there isn't enough oil in the world. It's because the oil producing nations are limiting their production of said oil. Supply and demand is dictating the prices. It seems that the rest of the world is now following America's capitalist lead. Can we really blame them for wanting to make money? After all, that's what America stands for, right? Bet you didn't think I could get deep. I'm not all jokes and sarcasm...

But lets get back to the sarcasm. I couldn't be an elected official. It just wouldn't work for me. Telling people what they want to hear has never been my strong point. I'm not gonna apologize and pretend that I didn't mean to to do the bad stuff that I did for the sake of an election. That's not me. I'd rather present the real me, flaws and all. I know that will never win me a popularity contest of an election, but I'm okay with that. We got enough unqualified people holding public office. Why should I throw my hat into the ring?