Flashback Friday -The Road Trip From Hell!!!

As requested by my homie, Opinionated Diva... Here is a blast from the past. I'm gonna warn you now. This is long and I have not finished it yet. If you would rather wait until I'm done, I'll link them together when I post the conclusion. I'm just telling you now, so you don't get mad at the cliffhanger. On another note, I think I'm running out of interesting stories. I've been trying to write this one for a couple of years, but the story is so much better when I embellish it verbally. I'll see what I can do to make it pop. Chances are if you've ever talked to me, you've already heard this story, but for the rest of you may I present...

The Road Trip From Hell!!! - Day 1

Tweety and I had been together for about 6 months. Everything was running smoothly, probably because I lived in Atlanta and she lived in Hanganiggaville, Tennessee. The long distance thing worked for us. We would see each other every other weekend, and talk on the phone every day. Before we became a couple, we had been friends and although we weren't totally compatible, we managed to put those differences aside. We talked about taking a trip together and decided on Orlando. She was obsessed with going to Disney World, and I was cool with that too. So it was decided. April 2004, we were going to go to Orlando.

I mentioned in my what's wrong with me post, that I don't really make decisions. Well at least that's how I was back then. I was a go with the flow type, she was very particular. She liked things to be a certain way, and if they weren't, then she would get an attitude (If she is reading this, she will say, "how did I get an attitude? I don't have an attitude, I'm just speaking my mind" LOL). Consequently, I let her plan the trip. I know I probably should have had more of a contribution besides giving her my credit card, but really, anything I would have picked would have been vetoed. Plus, I'm not much of a planner, so this worked out for both of us. I was paying for the hotel, she was getting the rental car since she had to drive from TN to ATL to scoop me up.

The trip started out great. She arrived at my crib (it was about 3 hours from her) and we chilled out for a minute. It was supposed to take 8 hours to get to Orlando. We planned to arrive around 7, get situated in the hotel and maybe go explore the city a little. Well, that didn't happen according to plan. We had (how do I say this without offending my favorite blog prude, Jameil?) certain biological impulses that needed to be fulfilled before we could leave. And they were fulfilled multiple times followed by deep sleep. Next thing I know, it was getting dark and we had yet to leave Atlanta. After hitting up Ruby Tuesdays for some food (Tweety loved their salad bar) we hit the highway with me in the driver's seat. As we drove down 75, everything was cool. We talked like a normal couple, and after a couple of hours she fell asleep. Then it happened... My enjoyable trip took a turn that started with 6 simple words:

Why are you driving so fast?

Okay, that's me being dramatic. I didn't know at the time that this was gonna be the beginning of the end. But looking back I can see that's where it started. See the thing is, I wasn't really speeding. I was going like 5 miles over the limit. She had woken up to tell me to slow down.

I got this. Just go back to sleep, baby.

And she did... for about 5 more minutes. That's when more questions came up. They didn't come this rapidly, but for the sake of the blog I'll just list them all now.

Why are you swerving? Why are you listening to that? What are trying to do.. run into the back of the truck? Why don't you turn on the defrost? Why are you chewing that gum so hard? Why didn't you get gas yet? Why? Why? Why?

If I heard "why" one more time, I was gonna go crazy. Instead, I just calmly asked if she wanted to drive. I figured that she was just cranky about sleeping in the car. I pulled into a rest station to stretch my legs and change seats with Tweety. She went to the restroom, and as I stood outside waiting for her, I thought to myself "what is happening here?" You know I talk to myself, so I convinced myself that everything was cool. Just go to sleep and when you wake up, you'll be that much closer to the hotel. I bought us a couple of waters and an ice cream sandwich from the vending machine. As we walked back to the car, I handed her the ice cream.

Why did you get me this? I didn't ask for ice cream.

*sigh* Apparently, I couldn't do anything right so I just sat there and ate the ice cream I bought for her. Forget my lactose intolerence, if it will get her to shut up, I'll just deal with it. I fell asleep to the sounds of Ruben Studdard while Tweety drove. I was sleep for a good 10 minutes when I was jarred from my slumber by the sounds of shouting. Or at least I thought that's what it was. Apparently that's how you are supposed to sing gospel music. I didn't know that's what was hot in the church. But yeah, the shouting woke me up and I instinctively turned the volume down a notch.

Why are you turning my music down?

There was that word again. I couldn't take it much more. I was getting really annoyed. I couldn't even sleep in peace. If I didn't know any better I would think Tweety was annoying me on purpose. There really was no other explanation. We had had disagreements in the past, but never had we had a fight. I felt it coming on. And I hate arguing. I tried to just sit in my seat and not say the first sarcastic comment that came to mind and for the most part I was sucessful. I just dealt with it. Loud gospel music, jerking the steering wheel, incessant use of the word "why"? Not a problem, I'm bigger than this. Besides, I'm on my way to the happiest place on earth. I can't be mad, can I? I spent the rest of the car ride in as much silence as I could muster to avoid saying something else that would make Tweety upset, even though I wasn't sure what I actually had done. By the time we got to the hotel, it was 4 in the morning. I was happy that the road trip from hell was over. I just wanted to get in the room, take a shower, and sleep the stress away.

We pulled up to the hotel. I can't remember (more accurately, I've blocked it from my memory) which one it was, but it was not exactly what I was expecting. It was close to the Dis.ney theme parks, but looked like it was built in the 1950's and may not have been painted since then. It definitely didn't seem like a $100 a night hotel. As we entered the room, I made the mistake of actually expressing an opinion.

This doesn't really look like what you showed me online.

Well, if you woulda participated...

Hold on. I'm not criticizing you. I'm just saying

I know what you are saying, Rashan!

Whatever, Tweety. I'm bout to go take a shower. (under breath) If this cheap ass hotel actually has running water.

What did you say?

Huh? nuthing.

By the time I got out the shower, Tweety was sleep diagonally across one of the queen beds in the room. I laid down on the other and fell out hoping that tomorrow would be a better day. I couldn't believe that 8 hours in a car could be so nerve wracking. But it was. If only that was the worst part... what was yet to occur took it to a whole 'notha level!