I'm Not A Player, I Just Crush A Lot

In response to Fridays post: Everybody wants me to man up and tell my crushes what I'm feeling. See, I had a good reason not to in each case.

1. This chick - First of all, I put the wrong link in there. It was supposed to open up to a picture of her, but I got tired and never changed the link. Here's why I never told her I was crushing.
I met her the end of last year, and we became friendly. If you weren't reading at the time, let me give you a little recap of what the end of 06 and the beginning of 07 were like. Car breaks down, pay $1800 to fix the transmission. Lost my job, (totally my fault, but still traumatizing.) Car breaks down again.. this time its the engine. Run through 2 more cars before finally getting one that has lasted for the last 9 months. Don't trust women... Been through too many adulterous and infidelitious (I made that word up) situations with women. Struggling to pay for everything. Don't wanna be bothered with people. Holed up in the crib not seeing people...

Even though I did feel this chick, I wasn't in a position to be trying to date anyone at the time. I really felt like I had a black cloud following me, cuz nothing was going right and I didn't want to subject anyone else to drama. By the time I emerged from my funk, I was squarely in the friendship zone with her. It was too late to try to get at her. She even tried to hook me up with her friend, but I had to decline, because her friend seemed a little nutty. Good reason or excuse?

2. Anonymous Blogger: As I told Opinionated Diva on one of her posts, (and she through back at me later), blog crushes are cool, but they are better left on the internet. My reasoning: Everybody on the internet is crazy! Now, I know you are gonna read this and say, "wait, I'm not crazy" but yes you are. It's not normal to share intimate details of your life with strangers. That's a little crazy. I'm half kidding. But more than that, I just had to deal with some crazies in my short time blogging. I've had people declare their love for me, people send me unsolicited sexy pictures, people pretend to be someone who they are not, etc.. Can you blame me for being a little cautious on the whole internet thing? Besides, if I told this blogger that I was crushing, and she wasn't crushing back, then it would get all awkward. I don't want to have to avoid certain peoples blogs, just because that person might visit. I've actually had that happen to me in the past too...

3. Co Worker chick - This one is mad easy to explain. She gotta man. One of my unwritten New Years Resolutions was to never interfere in anybody's relationship again. No more unfulfilled married chicks looking for a rebound. No more women looking to get rid of their ball and chain. No more women using me to feel the desire they lack in their relationship. I deserve someone that is all the way single, and if I don't find her right away, then so be it. I can be patient. Meanwhile, I just have to supplicate any inappropriate feelings I may have towards co worker. It wasn't that hard. I've been told I can turn it on and off in a heartbeat and that's what I did. No need stressing about something that isn't meant to be.

I suppose that I could have manned up and told my crushes what the deal was, but that's really all it was: a crush. It's not like I had deep stalkery feelings about them. Over the course of a year, I can go through a number of crushes, but its not that serious. I promise you that when the time comes, I will fight through my self diagnosed social anxiety disorder and tell my crushee. I hope that explains it, but if not, it is what it is. I may just be a lame. LOL