Delusion World

Welcome to Delusion World!!! Your number 1 vacation destination for those that like to lie to themselves. My name is Rashan Jamal and I'm your host for today's tour. Is real life not good enough for you? Do you want to fool yourself into thinking things are better than they are? Then come to Delusion World! Our resort features luxury suites for almost every delusion you can think of. Here are several of our delusion themed rooms.

I'm Gonna Make It In The Music Business!

Popular with the 30 something crowd. This room is designed for people that want to live their dreams of being a star, but have no actual talent. Typical clientele have their own record labels without any artists, or entertainment companies that get shouted out on low quality demo tapes, but never promote anything. This room is also for all the producers that don't have their own equipment, singers trying to relive their talent show win 10 years ago, and rappers that rhyme about drugs and guns but really have white collar jobs.

"He's Gonna Leave His Wife"

Perfect for all of the mistresses out there. You can even bring that married guy with you. Features of this suite include lots of Kleenex to wipe away your tears when he stands you up to be with his wife, earplugs for when your friends try to tell you that he's no good, and a untraceable cell phone so you can call the wife and hang up on her. Men, be sure to check out our "She's Gonna Leave That Dude" suite.


I'm Not Really A Smoker

The only smoking room in our resort. This room is for all them cats that smoke Black N Milds or Djarums and think its okay because they aren't cigarettes. Rooms are stocked with incense and gum and Egyptian musk oil to mask that familiar smoke smell. This suite is also perfect for that special weed head in your life.


She Don't Really Like Me

You know that girl that you keep around because you like the attention or you don't want to hurt her feelings? She's not really a stalker is she? Her declarations of love not withstanding, you can totally stay in this room with her without her trying any funny business. Amenities include separate beds, flannel pajamas, and the complete lack of anything that can put her in the mood. She gets too close to you? Push the red button on the night stand and a noxious fume will kill the vibe instantly. She'll think the smell is coming from you, but its really ours!


I Am The Father

When you want to pretend that your wife is NOT sleeping with your best friend, check into this suite. You can play Nintendo Wii with those kids that may or may not be yours, while she spends your child support money on gifts for that other guy. Special mirrors in the room make that kid actually look like you. DNA kits are also available, but we've yet to have any requests.


I'm Super Sexxxy

Our slimming mirrors and on site make up consultant can make you look as good as you think you do. We also have a closet full of clothes which are too tight or too loose (depending on your size) and preserve your sexy. A highly skilled group of staff sycophants will tell you exactly what you want to hear. "No, those jeans don't make you look fat." "Whoever told you that you look like Rocky Dennis from the movie Mask, was just joking." "I'd totally do you if I wasn't gay!" These are just a few of the delusion feeding amenities of this suite.


That Rash Will Go Away On Its Own

A completely sterile environment, this suite features all sorts of distractions to make you forget that rash, burning sensation, or lesion. You won't even entertain the possibility that you have an STD in this room. Check out our WebMd manuals for alternate explanations. Even better, our minibar is stocked with Old Wives Tale Home Remedies. Who needs a doctor when you have us?


You Say She's Just A Friend

You want to trust his female friend. You don't want to believe everybody that tells you to watch out for that trick. So what do you do? Get this suite featuring adjoining rooms and bring her on vacation with you guys. You can get to know her and maybe even befriend her on this trip. Use our suggested passive aggressive hints that she needs to back off, conveniently located under the Gideon Bible. Make her listen to you and your man's "sexy time" through our patented extra thin walls. Before you know it, she'll lose all interest in your man.

He Actually Wants To Get Married

That man really wants to marry you. He's just scared. This room can help you help him get over that fear. Our TVs only show Bridezilla, or Wedding Story. In conjunction with the bridal magazines strategically placed in this suite, your man will have no choice but to get in the matrimonial spirit. Before you leave, you'll have that promise to get engaged... one day in the future...when he gets his money right...and he can see himself sleeping only with one woman for the rest of his life...etc, etc, etc.



See what I mean? Here at Delusion World we have just what you need to keep on lying to yourself. Our resort is always packed with self deluders and megalomaniacs, so plan your trip now! What do we charge for our services? Whatever you believe it costs, that's what it costs. So call us at 1 800 Delusion or check us out on the Web at www.delusionworld.net/.

Delusion World - When the truth is just not good enough for you.