Memory Lane (Sittin' In Da Park)

True in the game, as long as blood is blue in my veins/ I pour my Heineken brew to my deceased crew on memory lane


Track 6: Memory Lane (Sittin' In Da Park)


This should have been the easiest post for me to write, but for some reason it became the hardest. The title "Memory Lane" lends itself quite nicely to one of my stories about the craziness of my past, but I think I may be tapped out. I couldn't think of any other stories that I haven't already shared. I've told you all about my dirt, my wild Savannah experiences, and growing up. What more can I say? I'm sure as soon as I finish this post, something will come to me and I'll regret that my long term memory finally failed me. But while we are on the subject, let's talk about memory.



Can memory really play tricks on you? For me, I know that it does. I tend to see the past through rose tinted glasses sometimes. I can remember stuff that happened a long time ago very fondly, whereas at the time I probably wasn't viewing it so positively. Is it just natural to see the past as "the good old days?" I thought about that as I remembered this story. My nostalgia makes it seem like it was the most dramatic (in a good way) time ever, or perhaps that's just the writer in me. Anyway, let's take a trip down "Memory Lane" when she and I were "Sittin' In Da Park."



She and I.. sitting in the park. Not a care in the world except what movie we would go see on Saturday night. Her with her biology textbooks, me with some masterpiece of English literature that I was supposed to be reading. We would sit for hours staring at the lake, in between chapters of academia. Hardly a word crossed our lips as she sat between my legs and I stroked her hair. Class let out at 11, and the next one wasn't until 2. So we sat in the park, communing with nature, stealing kisses, and pretending to study. Walking around the fountain hand in hand reciting sonnets with our eyes. Young love in full bloom.
THE ACTUAL FOUNTAIN IN DAFFIN PARK


She and I... sitting in the park. Worrying about final exams and car insurance. Her with her Physiology textbooks, me with my book of rhymes. I had long since given up the pretext that I was actually studying. We would sit for hours staring at each other, in between bites of Popeye's Chicken and gulps of Mystic juice. We talked more then, talked about our fears, our dreams, what was to come. Class let out at noon, and the next one was at 2:00. Less time to spend with each other, but more intellectual conversation. She challenged my mind, that's one of the reasons I loved spending time with her. We didn't feel the need for public displays anymore. Our love had matured.
THE PATH WE WALKED


She and I...sitting in the park. Graduation was upon us. I was taking 2 classes, she was taking a full load. Temporary worry lines painted fault lines upon her face. I, carefree and aloof sat there restless. We sat there for hours, she with her MCAT study guide, me with a Source magazine. We didn't really talk, but my presence was required. I, fidgeting and squirming, her not paying me any attention. I, wondering what was going on in the student center, her not wanting me to leave. Less than lovers, more than friends we sat in the park growing apart. To her, the park was pristine, relaxing even inspiring. To me, the park was stifling, boring and full of bugs. We didn't look at each other the same way anymore. We both knew that love had been replaced by co-dependency. We needed each other, although we didn't necessarily want each other. We liked each other, but it wasn't necessarily love. We loved each other, but we weren't necessarily in love.
OUR SPOT (Or one that looks just like it)

I alone...sitting in the park. A symbol of a relationship gone on too long. Emblematic of a love too young to be so serious. I sat in "our spot" and re-read her letter. She was doing fine in Virginia, and I was doing fine in Savannah. That's when I knew it was over. Her words betrayed the fact that she didn't miss me, and I didn't miss her either. Well, maybe a little, but not like we should have missed each other after seeing each other every day for three years. It used to tug at our heartstrings when we spent the weekend apart, now she was gone for a month and a half, and I was okay. I knew that our time had come to an end, but was afraid to verbalize it, afraid to lose my first love, afraid to prove my mother right, but most of all, afraid that she would not be okay, which is what I cared about more than anything in the world.



She and I...traveling in two disparate paths. Denying the inevitable, replaying the memories of our park. Always holding a place in each other's hearts, albeit as supporting characters, instead of the leading role.

(Stupid scanner won't work, so I couldn't post the picture of us. We looked-ed good together at graduation. LOL)



Next Up: Track 7: One Love