Don't Save Her

She don't wanna be saved...

I wish that she would trust herself more. I wish she would not allow herself to be manipulated. I wish there was something that I could say to make her realize that she's making the wrong decision... But these wishes are not fulfilled.

Instead, I play the good friend role and listen when she wants to talk or distract when she doesn't. I can't tell her what to do. I've tried that in the past. She nods her head or says "you're right" but then does the opposite. I told myself that I wasn't gonna say anything anymore. It's hard. It's really hard because I know the game. I don't play the game, but I recognize game. I've been a coach before. A couple of times recently. I helped people do what he is doing to her. I hate that I did that. I hate that I wasn't strong enough to refrain. But there's no use worrying about it. What I can worry about is that my friend is going through it. Unnecessarily in my opinion. What's obvious to me is murky to her. It wasn't murky the other night, but now that she's talked to him, its mad cloudy. But it's really not. Take this situation aside and I still wouldn't advocate for this relationship. I mean, he's cool. But does he love her? Doubtful. Does he even like her? Don't think so. And its mutual. She don't like him either. At least not from what I can see.

I told her this the other day while sipping a Heineken at the bar. I tried to be supportive. Hell, I was supportive. But I don't agree with her decision at all. I told her that she is not responsible for his well being. If he wants to hurt himself, that's his decision. It's also game. If she were in fact his whole life, then why would he seek attention in the arms of other women. He says things like this because he knows it works. Narcissistic as he is, suicide is not a viable option. And even if it is, that's his decision. Harsh? Maybe, but what's the alternative? Stay with someone that you don't want to be with for the rest of your life? That's not right either. I told her all this and loads more. Rashan is all about the real talk. I'm not sure if she can handle it, but I feel its my responsibility to give it. Me keeping quiet is not gonna help anybody.

I feel its a waste of breath though. She's gonna do what she decides to do. Her resolve lasted all of 12 hours. I hate it. But whatever decision she makes, I'll support her. That's what friends do, right? Real friends will let you know when you are wrong, but still be there for you no matter what. I wish I could could save her from herself... She don't wanna be saved.