Six - Tee

New Post at 1 PM EST...

Nikki: Mom wants you to write something for her birthday party.

Me: Okay...

Nikki: She says none of your biting satire or anything that'll make her feel bad.

Me: Word? How about if I'm sarcastic to someone else?

Nikki: I brought that up. She says none. Also don't mention the word "Sixty" in it.

Me: Well, what am I supposed to write? She's kinda handcuffing me. You can't put restrictions on my genius.

Nikki: (laughs) I don't know. Figure it out.

Me: There will be absolutely no poetry. What does she want me to write a short story or something?

Nikki: I don't know.

That was an excerpt from a conversation I had last night with my sister. On June 13th, my moms is turning the big 6 Oh. See, I didn't mention the verboten word. She's having a party in Savannah, and of course I will be going. I was hoping to just be the cameraman, but now I have a role to play. She wants all of her children and grandchildren to do something at the party, but umm I'm at a loss. See, the problem is I don't do sentimental very well. I sometimes wonder how I could actually be related to this woman that cries at commercials and gets weepy at the drop of a dime. I must really take after my father in that realm. I don't have a clue of what I can write about. Sure, I can do like I do on my blog and tell stories, but I can't really think of any right now. All of my stories are filled with debauchery, or embarrassment, or frustration. I've been wracking my brain to come up with an appropriate make my mom cry story. Or maybe I can do a fiction story, but all of those are ironic or not necessarily appropriate for telling in front of moms and grandma, not to mention the myriad of friends and family that will be in attendance. I simply DO NOT DO INSPIRATIONAL!!! I don't even like inspirational movies. But that's a post for another day. I don't know. I'll figure something out I guess.

Also, what do you get the woman that has everything and/or refuses to tell you what she wants. I've been thinking about this for months, but I haven't come up with anything. Well, that's not exactly true. She did hint around that she wanted to go to the Tina Turner concert in November. Unfortunately, by the time my sister dragged this info out of her, of course the tickets were sold out. I checked some of the scalper websites and tickets are going for like $600 each. I love my mother, but I'm not sure I'm trying to pay $1200 for her birthday. I mean, she know I'm broke. LOL. Plus, I know ain't no way my brother is gonna kick in anything substantial. And my sister ain't got no job except homeschool teacher right now. We'll see what I can come up with, but I'm open for any suggestions. No really, tell me what to buy. Okay, have a good day, and I'll holla at you all later.