I Know A Woman

I know a woman that is so competitive that in almost all of our conversations, a contest of some sorts develops. I love it. It's just the right amount of ridiculous for me. Of course, being equally competitive, I refuse to ever back down from a challenge. I mean, I'm not trying to lose, especially to her, cuz she would hold it over my head for the rest of my life. Currently we are locked in a battle to see who can come up with the most examples of hood rich behavior. This has been going on for 3 days now and there are no signs of any one conceding. She is the Hillary to my Barack. That's right, cuz she just doesn't know when to quit. Also, its mad obvious that I'll eventually be the winner, but I like that she keeps trying. I admire her pluckiness and spunk, futile as it is. And yes, I'm writing this because I know she's gonna read it and get crunk. LOL

I know a woman that doesn't ever listen to me when I talk. She asks questions designed for me to answer, but then just moves on to the next topic before I complete my answer. An example, the other day, she asked me about the company I used to work for. Before I could say massive layoffs, she was already talking about going to Pure Atlanta this weekend. How you gonna ask me a question and not let me answer? Strange. I decided that I would just say the craziest, off the wall, most unrelated thing I could think of next time she asks me something, just to see if she notices. A hypothetical example: "Rashan, what are you doing on your vacation?" "Well, I was planning on creating political unrest in Tanzania. Or I might just go to Candy Land." "Oh, that's nice. Do you like my hair this way?"

I know a woman that calls me a whole bunch. No, she's not interested in me that way. She just is, I don't know, lonely? I sometimes forget to return her text messages until its like 6 in the morning, which is either too late or too early to be trying to communicate. I feel like I've been a bad friend to her, but at the same time, I don't want to talk to her every day. I already have those people that I talk to on a daily basis. I wish this woman could be like a once a week type friend.

I know a woman that I'm pretty sure is upset with me, but she'll never tell me. She hates confrontation so much that she will just ignore a situation until it goes away. She doesn't have to tell me she's mad though. As long as I've known her, its obvious. I'm gonna let her have her way and not say anything about it unless she brings it up, which she wont. I don't wanna make her uncomfortable. Plus, the whole don't ask, don't tell thing is pretty much my forte anyway.

I know a woman that is freakin hilarious...unintentionally. She's an older lady that is dating a man that lives in an adult community. When I met her 6 months ago, she told everyone that she was getting married. She was just waiting for her ring. She still doesn't have the ring, but is still convinced she is getting married. She asks me for advice which is funny because #1) What I know about marriage and #2) You are old enough to be my mom's older sister. I feel bad when I laugh at her, but I still do it. You would too if you saw her weave a couple of weeks ago. It was curly and two toned, but then she put some detangling lotion in it and that turned it stringy, fuzzy and still two toned. She had looked-ed like George Clinton. It also didn't help that this ghey (I think) dude kept walking by singing "Atomic Dog." Quote of the week: "Ever since I got these new dentures, I can't seem to get the food out of them. I can't go the retirement home with popcorn in my choppers" - I about died right there...

I know a woman that I'm excited to see and I don't get excited over much.

I know a woman that wants to set me up with her friend. She been talking about it for awhile. My only question for her was "Do she gotta big booty?" Come on, don't be like that. You remember that from Friday, right? Anyway, so I meet the girl...no, more accurately I see her from across the room. The first thing I saw was a big azz foot tattoo. Actually it was more like a foot and ankle tattoo. No, a foot, ankle, and shin tattoo. It was that big. Not sure what it was supposed to be, cuz the colors were all run together and it looked like somebody put a box of Crayolas in the microwave, melted them and then rubbed it on her foot and ankle area. Forgetting the fact that I already don't like foot tats, (that's just me. I've told my friends the same thing), the huge blob mass spectrometer thing made it that much more unappealing. Oh, and she didn't have a big booty either. LOL

I know a woman that just had a baby. Congrats Myo!!! I hope everything is going well.. Some pictures would be nice. Or do I have to log on to MyoSpace to see the little girl. (3 minutes later) Awwww, that is a really cute baby. I mean that. Like she already looks like a little person. You know how a lot of babies look the same, your daughter has her own look already. So very cute...