Dikembe Mutombo

I apologize for the tardiness of this post. I've been feeling extra lazy today. It probably had to do with the snow coming down again. Twice in two weeks? That has got to be some kind of record. But you didn't come to read about that, you want to know what happened last night with "Not a date" girl.

Well, I hate to say it, but I was right. It did turn out to be a set up of sorts. It started out when I was on my way to the spot. I was almost there when she called me to say that she had to go home and cause she forgot her credit card and could I just meet her there instead.

*Block attempt* *Waving finger saying "get that weak shit outta here*

Yeah, I had to Dikembe Mutumbo that one. "It's your birthday, I got you. You don't need your card." I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I couldn't buy her 3 or 4 drinks on her birthday. That was not a problem.

So, I got there and we just so happened to pull up at the same time. I noticed she was solo. I guess her imaginary friends were gonna come later. I was almost proud of my own powers of deduction then I realized "damn, this is really just gonna be me and her." I mean I suspected going into it, but when I didn't see anybody else, I just knew. She told me that they were on their way, and that we could just get a quick drink before they showed up. Okay, not a problem. I am a fan of the alcohol. About 30 minutes later she "allegedly" got a call saying that they couldn't make it.

I say allegedly, because if your closest friends stood you up on your birthday, wouldn't you be upset? She acted like it didn't bother her at all, even with me instigating the issue. You won't believe the unimaginative excuse either: it was too cold. C'mon, it was like 45 degrees last night, no rain, no snow, no nothing. If this was true, then she really needs some new friends.

Anyway, on her 2nd (my 4th) drink, she had to go the restroom. She made a comment like "I better finish my drink before I go. I don't want you putting a roofie in it and taking advantage of me." In my loosened state, I actually said what I was thinking and replied "You aren't the one that needs to worry about that. If anyone needs to worry about that, its me." Oops, I did it again. I let the arrogant Rashan out. You would think that would cause problems, but it only made it worse. I guess they are telling the truth, when they say women like confidence.

As the night went on, she was sitting closer and closer to me. By the end, she was damn near on my lap. Rubbing my head and trying to rub my...

*Get that weak shit outta here*

That's all I'm gonna say about that. She said it was an accident, but I don't think so. It was accident all four times? I wound up drinking more than I planned and I actually did have fun. But yep, it was a set up. At the end, as I was going home, she asked me to follow her home to make sure she was safe. Raise you hands if you can see through that one. I did even after 2 gin and tonics, 2 shots of patron, a grand marnier and and amaretto on the rocks. Yeah, I know that I probably should have drank less, but I was still on my toes. I'm good. I told her that if she was that drunk, then we should call her a cab. She just sat there looking disappointed. If it sounds like I'm leaving stuff out, its just because I need to hit the streets before the ice takes hold. I'll holla back later.