Similar, But Not Synonyms

"Ugggh, Rashan! You are so damn cocky!"

That's what someone told me the other day. I can see why she thought that was the case. I did kinda imply that she wanted me. But the thing is, I was right. She does want me. I wasn't being cocky, I was just being real. I was trying to put some things in check, so there were no misunderstandings. But for real, I'm not cocky. Sure I have my moments, but who doesn't? I really don't think I'm as arrogant as some people think I am.

The truth is, I know what I know. I don't think that everybody wants me. I know my limitations. I know that I'm a short chubby guy, and that women want tall muscular guys. I know my pockets aren't deep as some. I know that I have no game to speak of. I would never put myself out there like I'm God's gift to women. But every once in awhile, some woman will come around that for some reason finds me irresistible. I don't know why, but I don't look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever that means.

So, yeah. I'm confident in certain situations. I'm not afraid to big myself up. I know that I'm the shit, but I also know my shit stinks, so to speak. I'm very realistic about who I am, and what role I play. I know that I have a beautiful, yet eccentric mind. That I am confident in. I don't care if nobody else gets me, I'm always gonna think my brain is amazing. If its something I'm good at, I'll say I'm good at it. That's not being cocky, that's just being real. If its something I'm not good at, then I'll cop to that too. That's not being self deprecating, its just being real. It is what it is. Doesn't make me cocky, or does it?

The way I see it, cocky and confident are similar, but not synonymous. There's a family resemblance. They have some DNA in common, but not like identical twins. When I acknowledge my strengths, that's me being confident. It's not done to make someone else feel bad, but rather to make myself feel good. After all, as they always say, if you don't love yourself, then who will?